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The Difference of Death and Life

Originally called Love and Death or Hate and Life What happens when Edward is faced with a decission he has to make? A past love comes back for Edward, but he doesn't share the same feelings with her as he does with Bella. Will he leave her again, for her safety? Or will he stay with her and risk her life?


9. A/N & Ryan...

Rating 5/5   Word Count 2590   Review this Chapter

A/N: Okay, so I guess that there was some confusion. And after rereading it I totally agree.

Okay, so first off, Bella's whole Point Of View, she was in the crossroads between life and death, so she was sort of in a coma, I guess you can call it. And that was where she was having her life flash before her eyes, in dreams.

The scene with Victoria, Jasper, Alice, Carlisle, AND Edward in the meadow was just a starter. It probably shouldn't even be in there. It was kind of pointless.

And then at that very moment of her dreaming (being in the ‘crossroads') with the scene of Edward and Victoria kissing in the meadow, was before Victoria, and Edward were to leave for the airport, and Edward was starting to warm up to Victoria, and as you can see, Victoria was more than happy, but Bella was a different story... so she ran off to the alley.

The next one would have happened if she went to hell. Where she found the note, and it was from Edward asking for her to take him back, and for her to wait for him, but she ‘moved on' to James (who went to hell).

The pitch black ‘area', and the pinching was her slowly coming back to into consciousness, when Carlisle was stitching her up. And she was found by Alice ad Jasper, and they lifted her, up. They were (supposed to be) the angels that helped transport her back to Earth/Life.

And Edward... I thought of him to be like when Bella would do reckless things (look back to New Moon) just to hear Edward's voice; almost like he was her conscious, telling her to come back. To live, for him, so he could find her when the time was right.

Oh and no, Bella did not loose her memory. She just couldn't tell the difference between reality, and her dreams.

And each time Bella would see PINK TULIPS (hince, hince name of the chapter) she would be going to another 'dream'.


I would let you all slap me, if you could.



"What- What happened?"

"Where do you want me to start?"

"The beginning would be good." She said like she was talking to a kindergartener.

"No... I mean: how much do you remember?"

"Uh... Edward hit Emmet. And then I talked to Esme, about if I want to stay here or if Edward and I were going to move out after the wedding, then I have black spots."

"Okay... well..."

Ten minutes later

"...And then Carlisle stitched you up."

Great... I thought to myself. I'm not dead, and I lost Edward... just peachy.

"Okay, well...Thank you. I would probably be dead if it weren't for you all." I'll just kill my self later anyways.

"BELLA! You better not!" Alice yelled.

"Why not? Huh? If you died, I bet Jasper would do anything to be with you again. But you know what... Edward didn't do anything to be with me. Yeah, he did the first time, when he went to Italy... But this time, he didn't even care what Victoria did to me. He just left. Left me ALONE with her! He wouldn't even leave me in the same story of the house with Jasper, when he wasn't near me." I felt the tears start to sting my eyes.

"I just don't know what to do." I finished slumping to the ground, with my face in my hands.

"Bella..." Alice said.

"Don't... please. Don't try to change my mind. Ill just go crazy."

"Please, Bella. I just lost my brother; I can't loose my best friend also." Alice said, trying to hold back what looked like tears.

"Yeah, and I don't want to have to live with my wife moping around the house 24/7." Jasper inserted.

"And I lost my first son, and I cant loose my youngest daughter. Imagine what Esme will say. Loosing three children..." Carlisle added, but slowly trailed off.

"I know... I'm sorry that I was never enough for him. I should have never moved here from Phoenix. You all would be so much happier... I'm sorry." I tried to get up but I felt like brinks.

Jasper held out his hand and I grabbed it. Savoring the way his cold fingers felt against my warm skin.

"Thank you all, so much." I said awkwardly.

"What are you going to do? You should come with us." Alice suggested hopefully.

"No, I can't do that."

"Then what are you gunna do?"

"I don't know. Probably move somewhere. I can't stay here. Not with these people, with these memories."

"College." It was Carlisle.

"I wish.. I don't have enough money." It made me feel uncomfortable talking about my financial problems in front of a family who had more than enough money.

"I'll pay for it." He answered.

"No, you don't have to."

"Yes, I do. You're one of my daughters. I need to do this not only for you, but for me. Nothing can make me happier than to see you get an education."

I smiled, but shook my head. "No, I can't take your money."

"Yes, you can. And you will. End of discussion young lady." He said with a smile.

It was quiet for a while. Then I heard a moan come from Alice.

She was having a vision. Her eyes fluttered open after a few moments, but Jasper was already holding her shoulders and asking her what she saw before I could even do a double take.

"Alice, Alice, what did you see?" asked jasper.


"Yes..." jasper said looking at me.

I shrugged. I didn't make any decisions did I?

"Going to college, is a good- no great- idea. Go to Alaska."

"I was planning on going there."

"I am taking you." she said with a devious smile. I only knew that smile too well. And that meant that there was going to be shopping involved; lots and lots of shopping.

"Alice..." I whined.

"Oh please Bella!"

"When are we leaving?"

"Well, it's the end of June and school in Alaska starts in early August, but the dorms are opening at the beginning of July... so I guess that we will be leaving mid-July." Alice stated.

I guess that's acceptable.

"But we can leave earlier. We have some friends that live up there so we can visit with them."

"Sure." The sooner we leave the better.

"Yeay! So we can leave in two days!"

"Err... uh.. Okay?" well you asked for it Bella.

"Yeay! Let's go tell Charlie."

"Fun." I said dragging out the ‘n'.

We pulled up to the house, and got out of Alice's canary yellow porsche. Charlie's cruiser was in the driveway. I made my way up the wet driveway, nearly tripping a few times, if it weren't for Alice I would have had to crawl the whole way with blood coming out of all my limbs.

We finally got to the porch and I reached into the eve, but the key wasn't there.

I turned to see Alice holding the door open with one hand and the key in the other. I sighed, taking the key and putting it back. I will never get used to their speed.

"Charlie?" I called as we walked through the door way.

"Charlie?" sang Alice.

"Hmmm. He should be home from the police station by now..." I looked at the clock, my eyes widening. "It's already 8."

"Maybe he went to La Push?" suggested Alice. Her eyes darted around the house.

"I'll call Billy." I walked over to the phone a tried to dial the Blacks number. It took me three tries to get it right.

"Hello?" asked a gruff voice.

"Hey, Billy? It's Bella."

"Oh, hello Bella," he said his voice changing to a more menacing tone. "Jake is not here."

"I am actually looking for Charlie. He's not home, so I thought that he might be with you."

"Oh well I haven't heard from him since Saturday." He said his voice getting audibly tense.

"Well, can you give me a call if you hear from him?" I asked panic sliding its greedy hands into me.

"Sure thing Bella. Have him call me."

"Okay then, buh-bye."

"Bye, Bella." It wasn't Billy who said it. It was Jacob!

"Jake!" I yelled. But the line was already dead.

"Alice..." I said turning to her, but she was on the phone.

She held up a finger to me as she said: "He hasn't been home since this morning. His scent isn't that strong... Check the station, Bella and I will check around in the forest...No need to worry, I won't let her out of my sight... Alright, I love you... Bye, bye."

"Jasper?" I asked, and she nodded. "Alright, so forest?" I asked. Panic was sure starting to consume me.

"Geez, Bella. I don't need to have Jasper here to know that you are freaking out."

"Sorry... I'm just nervous, and still a little shaken up about earlier."

"Do you need to hold my hand?" she asked totally serious. And it probably wasn't a bad idea either. I would either end up getting lost, or falling in the forest.

I nodded and she grabbed my hand as we went through the back door.

It was really dark outside. All I could see was Alice's glowing topaz eyes, and the illuminated window that was in the kitchen looking out to the back yard/ forest.

"Hey!" I heard a voice call.

"Yeah?" I asked looking at Alice.

"What?" she said looking back at me.

"Didn't you just say 'hey'?"



We both spun around. There was no one to be seen.

"Wh-Who is there?" I called out.




"Something is going on here." Alice whispered in my ear. The coldness of her breath on my neck calmed me a little bit.

I nodded and looked back at her.

"Shall we proceed?" I asked.

"Yup." I said popping the ‘p'.

She dropped my hand before walking ahead of me. She was half crouched, in a protective manner, in front of me.

We took not two steps until I was pulled behind a tree. I was being held against a cold chest. One of it's hands was wrapped around my waist, pinning my arms to me, but the other was covering my mouth.

"Bella? Bella, this isn't funny." Alice cried.

I tried to scream, but it sounded more like a whisper. I tried to pull myself free, but the arms only held me tighter. I would probably have bruises tomorrow.

I was about to (try to) scream one last time, I sucked in all the air I could... wrong move. It's skin, my captor's, was so intoxicating, so delicious, that I couldn't find it in my to scream. I wanted to but, it was so amazing that I wanted to stay in it for a while longer.

I started to relax.

"That's it, just relax." It was a man. His voice was like the tango. Smooth, and sexy, appealing and it lured me. I wanted to hear him speak some more.

And almost like her read my mind, he continued with, "I will take you away soon, and you won't have to be afraid anymore."

And I believed him. Though, I didn't know what I was supposed to be afraid of.

We stood there for a few more minutes, I guess he was waiting for Alice to go far enough away.

"Alright," he said spinning me around so I could face him. He was beautiful. He was tall, and had long brown hair (but not long enough to pull into a hair band, like Jake did) that nearly covered his black eyes. He was nicely proportioned. More muscular than Edward, but Emmet would still beat him at wrestling, but it would be a pretty even fight.

"I am Ryan." He said, "and I was told to get you, but I cant take you to my leader."

"Why not." I couldn't understand why my voice sounded so sure of myself.

"I don't think you want to meet my leader. She is a handful."

"Let me guess, Victoria?"

"No... who is Victoria?"

"Doesn't matter."

"Yes, it does." He said grabbing my shoulders and looking into my eyes. Something in them made me weak at the knees, and just want to tell him everything.

"She is just another sadistic vampire."


I shook my head.

He looked at me, and tilted his head, he leaned in and started breathing and blowing his breath an my face.

"She... just wants... to kill me."


"You seem really shocked."

"Well I am. Why in the world would any one want to kill something so... beautiful?" he asked moving a random strand of hair away from my face. And of course, I blushed.

"Long story."

"We have time." He held his hand out to me, "Walk with me?" he asked.

I don't know, but there is something about him that I immediately fell in love with. I grabbed his hand and he started walking farther into the forest. He seemed to know where he was going.

"So tell me, why does this sadistic vampire, named Victoria, want to kill the beautiful human?"

I didn't know what to say. So I only told him that my EX-boyfriend killed her mate.

"That's it?" he asked. "That only took like twenty seconds... there is more to the story, huh?"

I nodded.

"Tell me."

I shook my head, "No."

"Please?" he whined.


"Aw... come on." He complained.

I giggled, "No."

"Fine." He said pretending to be mad. We walked for about two more seconds, before he said.

"Want to hear a story? Know only by vampires."

"Sure, where did you hear it from?"

"From a friend. He told me a story about how he made a human girl fall in love with him. He has been a hustler since the mid 1900's. What was his name?...Eric, no, no... Ethan? No, not Ethan. Edward! Yeah Edward Cullen. And the human...Beth."

"Bella?" I suggested.

"Yeah, that's it. Bella." He said my name like it was something to be held on a pillow and presented to the Gods.

I decided to play along. "This story sounds familiar." Rage, at how familiar it was, built up in side me.

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah." I answered quietly. Wishing I hadn't said anything in the first place.


"I have heard it before."

"What? Where?" he asked truly interested.

"Edward. Anthony. Manson. Cullen."

"How do you know him?"

I started to cry.

"What's wrong... Uh, you never told me your name."

"I am Bella Swan!"

"I knew you looked familiar!"


"Edward showed me your picture."

"Great. Can you take me home now?"

"No, you need to talk to me. What happened to make him leave you again?"

"Do you really want to know?"

He nodded enthusiastically.

"Okay.. but I don't promise you a happy ending."

"Oh I know."

"His ex-girlfriend came back, and he just dropped me." I stopped. Waiting for the tears to slow down, but Ryan miss understood my pause.

"That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. I thought there was going to be more."

"No, there is more, and actually, it's not stupid. Any ways, it's not the first time he left me. The first time when he left he told me he didn't want me and that I was no good for him, and left me in this very forest. I wasn't found until a little of a week later. And he came back, telling me it was all a lie, and I surely enough took him back right away. He could be very persuasive when he wanted to be."

"Explain to me, why he left you this time."

"I already told you... his ex-girlfriend came back for him."

"You're leaving some thing out. Some thing big..."

"Yes, I am."

"Tell me."

"The ex-girlfriend... is the same vampire... who wants to kill me."


I nodded.

"No way!" he yelled.

I nodded again. "Way."