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Hey Kitty Kitty

What if kismet didn't happen so often for poor Bella? What if she never found those motorcycles, therefore never went down to Jacob Black? What if...there was someone else waiting for her? A twist on New Moon Chapter 4 is up

This is dedicated to my former kitty, M&M who is now...not mine. No, it didn't die, he just has a new home, lol.

1. My New Cat?

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1541   Review this Chapter

I did not resurface.

“Bella? Are you awake yet?” A soft knock came at the door. I blinked open my eyes to the unusually bright light coming through my bedroom window.

“Yeah, dad, I’m up,” I croaked, clearing my throat. I was still a bit monotone, even after what had happened at the movies last night with Jessica. I had woken up this morning to the sharp ringing of my phone, telling me I did not have to come into work today…Mike was getting tired of me too now.

“Can I come in?” Charlie asked quietly outside of my door. I sighed softly and pushed back the covers on my bed. I wasn’t even trying to sleep, I was doing my English essay in bed to keep warm.

Curling my fingers around the doorknob, I thought back to the time where I could spend my free time reading or listening to music…shaking my head as if to clear the thoughts, I opened the door.

“Morning,” Charlie smiled. His brown eyes looked excited and his voice was a bit higher than usual.

“Morning,” I said simply and quietly---as if even the sound of my very voice would burn my memories to a crisp.

“I have a surprise for you,” he grinned, his eyes going crinkled in the edges. I felt my stomach push back, as if it were getting ready to vomit. I even tasted the bile in my mouth---an after effect of adrenaline of course. Surprises were irrevocably dangerous for me.

“What is it?” My voice even trembled a bit…it had no practice after the numbness faded away.

“Come down and see!” He threw an arm around my shoulders, shocking me out of my post-nightmare state. Who was this and what did he do with Charlie?

“Dad, I hope you didn’t buy me anything,” I whispered fearfully. It almost brought the clawing feeling back to my chest---I blocked out memories of when I told other people not to buy me things…

“I didn’t, I got it as a gift, so I brought it home for you…” he said, trailing off as we got to the bottom step. He pulled his arm away and leaned down, patting his hands onto his knees.

“Dad, what are you doing?” I asked, watching as he strangely kept patting his knees and snapping his fingers.

Suddenly, a ball of orange fur came flying out of no where, landing next to Charlie’s feet. I jumped back, as if my reflexes were finally back after all these months. My reactions---my heart was racing and my hands trembled as I looked down at the cat pawing at his feet.

“What is that?!” I asked, pointing at the fur ball. He looked up and I saw amazement in his eyes.

“It’s a cat. He’s twelve weeks old and Jerry’s wife doesn’t want any more kittens in the house, so he gave this little guy to us, do you like it?” He asked, all in one breath. I could tell he liked the fact that I was finally showing emotion as if I had a life in this body of mine.

“Seriously? We’re going to keep it?” I asked, going closer to him. The cat looked up at me with hazel eyes, making a small meow.

“If you want to…” Charlie said unsurely. I sat down on the bottom stair and held my hand out. The kitten came slowly and uncertainly closer to me until it licked my fingertips. The tongue was rough, but it was ticklish at the same time.

“What’s his name?” I asked while petting the cat’s head behind his ears. It made a purring noise and I felt a real smile touch my lips for the first time in…so long.

“It hasn’t been named yet, you can name him whatever you want,” Charlie said, amazement clear in his voice. I looked up to see him grinning as if he had won the Olympics.

He was amazed that I was showing feeling…I hadn’t fooled him at all, had I? That was depressing…I had been trying so hard. Well, I guess there was nothing to try for now…

Abruptly, the cat came in between my legs and curled up into a little ball purring and licking my toes.

“How about M &M?” I whispered. It looked up at me and I could have sworn I heard something chuckle in my head…oh my goodness. The breath came out of my lungs with a whoosh.

It was him. I was careful not to think his name, for that would scar me worse. Was he laughing at me? Did he feel happy that I was happy with this…cat? Was this the answer I had been looking for? Goodness, I had forgotten how beautifully irresistible his quiet chuckles always sounded.

Tears shot up to my eyes and I looked down, hiding my face with my long hair, away from Charlie’s eyes. The cat looked up again and pawed at my chin. I tried to blink the tears away, but that made them flow faster. The only thing that worried me was…I didn’t feel the nasty clawing at my chest again. I could breathe, I wasn’t dying.

I cleared my throat softly. “Thank you dad, I love him. Can I keep him in my room?” I asked, keeping my head down. I heard Charlie laugh and a sack of cat food made a thud as it fell next to me.

“I knew you’d love him. I bought it’s food and put the litter box in the laundry room. It’s already trained, you just have to show him around the house and stuff. I’ll make sure to get a collar for him---M & M, huh?” He asked. I nodded and picked up the kitten with one hand and the food with the other.

“Thanks again, Dad.” I called out, taking M n M upstairs.

“No problem! I’ll see you later tonight, Bells!” I heard him say before hearing the door shut.

“Well, MnM, this is your new home. How do you like it?” I asked him, opening my bedroom door and letting go of it. He slowly strutted around the room, perusing it with it’s nose and tail in the air. When it made a full walk-about of the room, he crouched down low and jumped onto my still-unmade bed.

“Hey, hey, mister. I don’t think so. That’s my bed,” I told him, putting the cat food down and walking over to the bed also. I sat down and it immediately came over and sat in my lap.

“Ok, ok, you can sleep here, but only if you promise not to claw at my sheets!” I smiled down at him.

It hurt my cheeks slightly. I hadn’t smiled on impulse in such a long time…it would take some getting used to. I looked back down, holding up MnM’s paw. It was de-clawed!

“Aw, you’re de-clawed already? I wonder if you’re neutered…we don’t want any babies this early, now do we?” I asked him. He didn’t seem to be listening to me, but that was ok.

This was amazing. This feeling of being able to talk to something without seeming totally and absolutely insane. Plus, the voice in my head thought it was funny---might as well amuse it, if I could not amuse myself.

“Well, why don’t you tell me something about yourself, MnM?” I asked him, laying it down on my pillow and laying down next to him. He simply looked into my eyes, probably wondering what the heck I was saying.

“Ok, I’ll tell you a little about myself then…” I spoke quietly, hesitant.

I told it everything. I told it of my life, of my feelings. I cried to it, and it cuddled with me. The house had never felt more comforting until MnM came, and it made me feel…touched. Like something might be able to see how much I was hurting on the inside.

I didn’t say his name, but I told MnM all about him…it hurt so bad, but it was nice at the same time. I don’t know, maybe I was turning into a masochist? All I know is that the suffocating feeling thinned out as I talked out my…feelings.

“So this is what people pay thousands of dollars to physiatrists for, then? To talk out your ‘feelings’?” I asked MnM while getting his food bowl ready. It was lapping up water and I saw his ears flick. I pretended like that meant he was listening to me.

“I also don’t know where to go to college. Should I even do it? I mean, what’s the point, right? Maybe I can go to Seattle University, you know, stay close to home…I know I really can’t leave this place…I can’t.” I told him. “It’s like…if I leave, then it might not be real. I might have imagined it all.”

I cringed and took deep breaths. “It’s my worst fear, M.” I voiced out, feeling softness against my thighs. MnM comforted me by snuggling against my legs. I picked him up and made soft cooing sounds in his ears while trying to shake off the gnawing feeling in my chest again. It was as if something had crawled up there and died…oh, it was my heart.