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Lost

Summary:
"Because recently, what had seemed true to him was wavering, and what had always been so clear to him was now confusing. He knew that he had to find himself again through the one person who had always been there for him. Even if it would change nothing of her fate, maybe it would decide his."



Jacob needs to see Bella again before she's gone forever, but at what price?


Notes:
First Twilight fanfiction ever. First time I've written anything in quite a long time. And, what can I say, I have a soft spot for Jacob :]


2. Searching

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1275   Review this Chapter

Sliding out of bed, Bella crept to the door. Her room felt colder than usual, the air brushing her bare skin caused it to erupt in goose bumps. When she grabbed the brass knob it was unexpectedly cold on her hand and made her shiver. She couldn’t tell whether it was the fact that her heart was beating a million times too fast because she was frightened and confused, or if it was because she’d just crawled out of bed that she reacted so badly to the cold. Her heart suddenly ached to feel the cold that was always emanating from Edward, to be pressed against his body and to feel his arms woven around her waist. She shuddered again, frustrated and upset and feeling empty. Even though she tried to disregard them, thoughts of the last time Edward left unexpectedly flooded her brain. Just remembering the pain was too much to handle, and she had to take a moment to regain herself. Leaning against the door she tried to steady her breath and clear her head. ‘You know he wouldn’t leave,‘ she told herself, ‘not again.‘ She believed that, whether it was better for her to or not . She straightened herself out and turned her wrist to open the door. It opened with a soft click, and she then tried to slide her body out quietly.

As soon as she had taken her first steps out of the door, her prayers were answered. Edward stood before her and immediately wrapped his arms around her, pressing her tight against him. She sighed a giant sigh of relief and rested her head against his chest, thankful that he was still there, thankful that she could still be with him like this. Trailing a hand up her back to run his fingers through her hair, he said tenderly, “I’m sorry, Bella. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have left you like that. I honestly didn’t think that you would wake up.”

“It’s okay,” she mumbled, content with just being close to him. “My fault. You know I overreact. But, what were you doing?”

She could feel him grin against her neck, and she shivered a little out of pleasure.

“I can’t tell you that,” he whispered quietly in her ear, “you’ve already ruined half the surprise by getting up. You weren’t supposed to know that I was doing anything.”

She was vaguely aware that he was trying to dazzle her again. Instead of trying to fight it, she went along with him. The hand in her hair pulled slightly downward, and she knew he was trying to get her to tilt her head back. She obliged more than willingly. His lips were then on her neck, trailing downward first, then rising up her neck and to her jaw line.

“Not doing anything,” she whispered, “I don’t know that you were doing anything.”

He moved his hands to cradle her face, and raised his head. Staring directly into her eyes, he said, “Exactly right.”

He crushed his lips against hers, and he felt her arms immediately entangle themselves around his neck. He wound his hands in her hair again, liking the softness he found there. He felt her mouth open against his, her tongue slipping out and running across his bottom lip. Normally he would have shied away, pushed her gently off him, as to avoid tempting any further danger. However, the frantic beating of her heart when he returned to her told him that he had upset her, and he felt guilty. He had to make up for it.

Just a few seconds longer was all it took.

Bella pushed herself further into him, and her hands fell to his chest, exploring the hard contours there. Her touch sparked thrilling sensations, which took him slightly off guard and for a moment, he let his concentration slip. Knowing that he was entering dangerous territories of his self control, he broke them apart, unwinding himself from her. Her hands rested themselves on his chest stubbornly, and he gently grasped her wrists, removing them from his body.

She was breathing heavily, her face flushed with blood. Regaining her composure just slightly, she whispered, “not sorry.”

He grinned her favorite crooked smile, “I know. Neither am I.”

He took her hand in his and lead her back into her bedroom. He took his place in her bed, laying on his back. She rested her head on his chest and slung an arm across his stomach. He glanced at the clock and said, “You know, you should still be asleep.”

“You expect me to sleep after <I>that</I>?” she asked playfully, “Absolutely no way. You nearly gave me a heart attack. I’m no good at kissing you.”

“No, quite the opposite. The whole problem is that you are <I>far</I> too good at kissing me.”

“I think it’s the other way around,” she objected.

He began to stroke her hair softly, soothingly. Moments passed and they were silent. Then, he began to chuckle.

“What’ssofunny?” Bella murmured.

“Oh, nothing,” he replied, “it’s just that your dad is having quite amusing dreams.”

“About what?”

“Maiming me, mostly.”

Bella scowled against his chest, “I don’t think he’ll ever learn. I don’t understand why he can’t just accept you, you’re nothing but polite to him, and it’s no secret how ecstatic you make me -”

“Hush,” Edward told her softly, “there’s absolutely no use in getting all worked up over it. He’s reacting the same way that any dad of a teenage daughter would. Especially if she was getting married. And especially if she was getting married to someone who had…” he trailed off. He couldn’t bring himself to talk about what he had done to her.

“Your turn to hush,” she said, trying to comfort him. She placed a finger on his lips and continued, “I love you, Edward, with everything that I have. I always will. Isn’t that all that matters?”

“Yes,” he said, “and you know that I will always love you.”

“I know,” Bella smiled, happy that she had been able to comfort him.

“You also know,” he continued on, “that I’m going to have to leave soon. Charlie surely wouldn’t appreciate finding us like this.”

“I thought we said what Charlie thought didn’t matter?” she said stubbornly, but still moved so that he was free to get up.

He smiled at her, and leaned down to kiss her forehead.

“I’ll be back before you have time to notice I’m gone,” he promised, and with that he departed.

Bella rolled over onto her back and sighed. She could still feel the last touch of his lips against her forehead, and she could smell him on her bed. Knowing that she was too anxious to fall back asleep, she crept out of bed and into the bathroom.

Once she had completed all of her human necessities she wandered into the kitchen. She figured Charlie would love to have breakfast cooked for him when he awoke, and began to gather what she needed to cook. She cracked an egg on the side of a pan and dropped it into the center. It sizzled fervently. Her movements were slow and lethargic, she felt as if her body didn’t now how to function properly when he was away. It was as if he took all the best parts of her with him while he was gone.

As she turned to flip the egg, she heard a knock at the door. She set the spatula she had been holding down, and shut off the stove. Confused, she wandered over to the door. She wasn’t expecting anybody yet, and usually Charlie had no visitors, especially not this early.

Cautiously, she opened the door. All the mental preparation in the world couldn’t have made her ready for who was standing on the other side.