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Silence

Summary:
It was surprising how silence could be so loud. My families thoughts came in tidal waves, they felt like daggers ripping and tearing away at my insides. An idea I had in my free time. Edward's and now Jasper's thoughts after Bella's disastrous birthday. Please review, they mean a lot to me! JCCx


Notes:


1. Chapter 1

Rating 0/5   Word Count 516   Review this Chapter

It was surprising how silence could be so loud. My families thoughts came in tidal waves, they felt like daggers ripping and tearing away at my insides. The events of the last few days played back in my mind, as I fought to surface the black water that surrounded me. I felt like I was drowning, swirling in pictures of Bella injured by my hands and the intoxicating scent of the warm red liquid that flowed freely from her veins.

I had expected, even prepared for dangers to unfold in our uncharacteristic lives, but never from my own family.What was I thinking? Why was I so relaxed with my love to be in a house of vampires? Our ‘instincts’ could control us at anytime and as Bella was such a danger magnet it was like walking into a war zone. True, my family had pretty much mastered control but that doesn’t mean we don’t crave what we can’t have. We could slip at any moment and some of us had. Even the strongest, bravest and compassionate of us can’t control the beast that rages within ourselves. It squirms and screams until it breaks free of its confines and posses our lifeless bodies. I had succumbed to its will and left my conscience behind for a time. I killed people.

Why was I any different from James or Victoria? They had hurt Bella and now I had done the same. I couldn’t go on risking Bella’s life, she was too important. I couldn’t balance us on a cliff and hope the fall wouldn’t kill her. I couldn’t cross my fingers and pray to be lucky. I could not risk Bella, but I was terrified to live with out her. She was my life. I had nothing else to live for; I lived and breathed for Bella.

My throat constricted and my stomach tied into sickening knots. What would I do? Where would I go? I couldn’t stay here, and neither could my family. Bella deserved to live without reminders and to do that we had to be forgotten. As much as it pained me to be erased from my loves memory, it was necessary. At least that is what I tried to tell myself.

“Edward you will not do that!” Alice snarled taking an angry pose, after no doubt seeing the future.

“I have to.” I replied trying not to let the pain and despair consume me.

“Edward you really don’t! You have a choice, choose the right one!” She begged.

“What is going on?” Emmett asked from the couch in the living room. He was sat next to Jasper, who had in his hands and was disgusted by his thoughts of drinking Bella’s blood. He felt dejection and apprehension and most of all guilt. Bella was a sister to him and he had done everything in his power to not hurt her. Just one drop of blood destroyed everything. He was slowly breathing in the overpowering smell of bleach to clear his head. Taming the beast.I had no other choice.

“We are leaving.” I said, and with that shattered my world.