It was surprising how silence could be so loud. My families thoughts came in tidal waves, they felt like daggers ripping and tearing away at my insides. An idea I had in my free time. Edward's and now Jasper's thoughts after Bella's disastrous birthday. Please review, they mean a lot to me! JCCx
2. Chapter 2
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The slit in her skin leaked blood and sent all rational thoughts soaring from my head. My instincts took over and I could no longer stop myself from lunging to the source of the liquid. I could no longer feel others emotions only my own lust and craving. I crouched down and sprung towards my target but was met by empty space.
The scent of blood intensified and the animal reared, I wanted to taste that irresistible banquet, feel it sliding down my throat. I was the hunter stalking my prey. I was a shark with the taste of blood in its mouth. The burning in my throat was getting unbearable and its’ bloodwas the only way to make it go away. I was about to attack again when I was grabbed by two steal arms; locking mine behind my back. I fought, struggled and thrashed against the grasp but it won and dragged me into the cold night air. The smell of the forest and rain collided with me. The person dragged me away from the house and into the forest. The person threw me to the ground.
“Do you have any idea what you could have just done?” The person I now recognized as Emmett bellowed.
“You could have killed her! That is Bella! She is just as much a part of this family as you! You have to fight it Jasper! Bella is kind, sweet, funny and look how she has changed this family. We all love her and you could have just taken her away from us!” He carried on shouting until Rosalie wrapped her arms around his waste.
“Emmett, take a deep breath, everything is fine.” She whispered to him. He instantly relaxed and turned his back on me. Esme didn’t move she just stood looking of into the forest.
It was times like this I hated my ability. My emotions were a cocktail of guilt, regret, fear, sadness, desperation, disgust and anger. My families’ emotions added to this sickening blend and then added additions; I felt Alice’s never ending undeserving love for me, Edward’s inner turmoil, Rosalie’s smugness, Emmett’s shock, Esme’s self disgust, Carlisle’s concentration and Bella’s guilt and worry.
The latter startled me most; Bella had absolutely no reason to feel guilty, I was the one that nearly killed her. My god, I nearly killed Bella! She was like a sister to Alice and not to mention the reason Edward smiles and is filled with happiness. I came so close to taking that away from him and I also loved Bella, I just couldn’t come close enough to show it. I was also surprised that she didn’t feel scared. Would she be scared of me from now on? I didn’t want her to; she was a member of our family and should feel safe with us. But how could she or how could we feel safe with ourselves around her when I just proved how unstable I was.
I would have to leave. It was the only way to keep her safe and my family happy.
“Emmett … can you give us a minute please.” Edward said from Emmett’s side. I could feel no anger coming from my brother and this worried me. I wanted him to be angry with me, I wanted him to scream and hit me if necessary, do anything but go back to being his withdrawn past.
“Edward how are you feeling?” Esme asked placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.
“I’m fine Esme I just need to talk to Jasper.” He said trying to comfort her but I could feel his growing emptiness.
“Alright, Rose, Emmett lets go for a walk.” Esme said looking straight into Edwards blank eyes. They all left me and descended into the forest.
“Jasper I…” Edward said
“Is Bella alright?” I cut in, if Bella was hurt that was a lot more important.
“She has glass in her arms from me throwing her into the plates but Carlisle is fixing it. She is having stitches at the moment and will have to take some pain killers. She doesn’t seem to be in shock and she hasn’t thrown up at the sight of the blood so I don’t know whether to be worried or glad. Alice is still in there with her but I think she will be coming out soon. She has pretty much mastered control but she doubts herself and she wants to make sure you are ok. She sent me out here to talk to you. So…”
“Edward I am so sorry! I lost control and I couldn’t stop myself! I could have destroyed everything. Does Bella hate me, or is she afraid of me, I don’t want her to be. I’m sorry I ruined her birthday and it was going to be so special.”
“Jasper you are rambling, Bella doesn’t hate you and she isn’t afraid of you either. You know her, kind and brave. You shouldn’t be apologizing to me anyway!” He said.
“I can’t face her at the moment and I’m defiantly not going back into the house till the blood has gone, can you tell her I am so sorry.” I pleaded.
“Jasper she already knows.” Edward reassured me.
I didn’t deserve to be in this family. I should be on my own like every other vampire like me. I should hide in the dark and mourn the life I had with the Cullen’s.
“Jasper you aren’t going anywhere.” Edward warned. His feelings kept changing but I could tell he was making a decision and he didn’t like doing it.
“Edward what are you deciding?”
“I’ll see you later. I’m taking Bella home once she is finished with Carlisle. Alice will be out to see you soon.” Edward said walking back towards the house. I was left alone in the eerie silence to reminisce on what I had caused.