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Just a Dream

Summary:
This is just a songfic I thought of in class one day. I personally am an E/B fan, but I couldn't stand the thought of Edward dying (and this wouldn't be how it would happen). So, instead I made it J/B. The song is actually by Carrie Underwood and is titled Just a Dream. Look up the correct lyrics because I changed some of them to make more sense. Parts of the song still won't make sense though, just a warning.


Notes:
Sorry to all of the Jacob fans! *Also, this is as if Alice never saw Bella jump and didn't come back.


1. Just a Dream

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1821   Review this Chapter

It was two weeks after the day she turned 19.

All dressed in white, going to the church that night.

She had his box of letters in the passenger's seat.

Sixpence in his shoe, something borrowed, something blue

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I could not believe it. It was my wedding day, and I was standing in front of Emily's full length mirror in her bedroom. Emily, along with Leah, Renee, Kim, and even Quil's little Clair had come and gone, their work complete. By now, I could no longer recognize the person staring back at me.

The ivory silk slid daintily between fingers that were once almost that pale. Although the skin was not as fair as it once was, it was also not dark enough to match Jacob's. The dress had appliqué up and down the bottom, with a light blue ribbon across the middle. The girl -no, the woman- staring back at me had curves in all of the right places, and her face was made up in a way that brought out the natural rosiness of her cheeks. Most of her hair was pulled up into ponytail, with curls cascading down her back. A silver chain with a teardrop diamond on it hung on her neck; the earrings were matching. This woman was gorgeous. This woman was graceful. This woman was me.

I just stared at my reflection for a few more moments before falling into my memories. Everything about Jacob was the best part of my past, so I started at the beginning of our relationship.

Everything had moved so quickly after Jacob and I had made up. Things were a little rough for about a week after my cliff-diving incident, but we moved on. By that January, I had found that although I would never love him as I did...the other, I could still give him the rest of my heart. Please, don't misunderstand, I do love Jacob with all of my life, but...it's different. Jacob is my sun, my warmth, my safety net. Edward was...my twilight. Once you've seen the beauty of it, you don't want to slip into the darkness that follows. But Jacob's light brought me out of the darkness. He saved me.

When I came home from college that year, Jacob and I became inseparable. Everyone in town understood that wherever one of us went, the other would be 2 steps behind. He took me out to dinner one night, up in Seattle. It wasn't fancy, just our favorite little diner we had found picking out car parts one day.

He had arrange for a ring to be on top of my burger. It took my breath away. I couldn't take my eyes off of it, and I didn't even notice when he got down on one knee. In my moment of shock, I muttered, “Is this an engagement ring?” He just chuckled and pulled out a little box from his jacket pocket. “No,” he whispered. “This is.” It was even more beautiful than the first. At my confused expression, he explained that the first ring was just something he had intended to give me when I went to college, but never could. It was a late promise ring. Of course I accepted. I truly do love him.

We had planned the wedding for September 27th. It was exactly 2 weeks after my 19th birthday. He had promised me that today would be all about us, too. The only way the pack would be involved was because some of them were in the wedding. He even went so far as saying that Sam said I could torture him forever if he pulled Jacob away. It meant so much that he would put me before anything with the pack. Now, of course, I would never tell him that I wanted him to do that, so I insisted he wouldn't promise that. But I think he knew anyway.

I scowled as the ringing phone interrupted my thoughts. Everyone in town knew about our marriage. Little did I know that this phone call would change my life.





I didn't know if I could do it. I didn't want to do it. But I knew that it would be better to do it now than make everyone reconvene again in a few days. I was just glad that I wouldn't have to be the one breaking the news to Billy. The numbness would disappear with his hope. Somehow in my thought process, I had made it to the church. I didn't need his tears to break the numbness. It was already fading and leaving me with a broken heart.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

And when the church doors opened up wide

She put her veil down, trying to hide the tears

Oh, she just couldn't believe it

She heard the trumpets from the military band

And the flowers, fell out of her hands



Baby, why'd you leave me

Why'd you have to go?

I was counting on forever, now I'll never know.

I can't even breathe.

It's like I'm looking from a distance, standing in the background

Everybody's saying, “He's not coming home now.”

This can't be happening to me

This is just a dream.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I wanted to wake up. He couldn't leave me like this. He promised me a forever, a sunshine, a warmth. It was all gone. Even with all of the werewolves in the room, I felt cold. I wanted to just fall to the floor and weep, but I would save that for later. It would start a river of tears, and that could flood the state. No, the weeping would be put off until that night. That, however, did not stop a few tears from escaping. My veil could only hide some of them.

I walked calmly up to Sam, and gave him a hug. He had been the best man, and was one of Jacob's good friends. We stood there, and I could feel him shaking. Whether it was from sorrow or anger, I wasn't sure.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The preacher man said, “Let us bow our heads and pray.

Lord please lift his soul, and heal this hurt.”

Then the congregation all stood up and sang the saddest song that she ever heard.

Then they handed her his wedding ring

And she held on to all she had left of him

Oh, and what could have been

She heard a gun ring one last shot

And it felt like a bullet in her heart



Baby, why'd you leave me

Why'd you have to go?

I was counting on forever, now I'll never know.

I can't even breathe.

It's like I'm looking from a distance, standing in the background

Everybody's saying, “He's not coming home now.”

This can't be happening to me

This is just a dream.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Angela Webber's dad was going to be the pastor for our marriage. Instead, he lead us in a prayer for Jacob. He spoke a few words to the choir, who flipped their books open to a new page. The song was so beautiful. They filed into the back quietly after it was over, each of them sending their condolences. I couldn't look at them. I just nodded and squeezed my eyes shut.

Jared walked up to me then, and took my hand gently. He squeezed it gently for a minute, then released. I felt Jacob's ring in my hand. I don't know how, but I ended up on the floor, leaning against the few stairs there were. If all went as planned, we would have been walking down the stairs, out into the future that was bright and sunny. That ring would be on my left hand, and I would have been a married woman. The tears began to spill over, but I didn't stop them.

Embry and Quil came over to me and told me how he died. A bullet right in the brain by a stray vampire. They all thought that they were outnumbered by all of the scents, which is the only reason they had called Jacob. He took one to finish the fight, but he couldn't heal from that. I heard the gunshot ring in my head, and it felt like it went right through my own heart.

They tried to tell me that the vampire was dead. They thought it would help. But it just ached more because I could never be the one to avenge his death. They left me to my thoughts and tears.



Somehow I got to my feet. Everyone that had been talking quietly were now watching me. I walked over to Sam. He dipped his head low, not meeting my empty, lifeless gaze. I whispered his name, and he looked up, tears welling up in his own eyes. They finally met mine, and I just shook my head. My face was hard and cold as I slapped him. He didn't flinch, but I knew he felt it. Maybe not on the outside, but it killed him on the inside. It would torture him on the inside for enternity. He had given me permission for it. He knew what he had done.

I rushed out of the room, afraid of the lingering silence that had echoed after the slap. My eyes blurred, but I pushed past them. I rushed out to my truck and tore off the “Just Married” poster and cans on the back. I craved more speed, but I didn't push it past 40. Finally, when my truck was out of gas and I was surely lost, I pulled over to the side of the road.

Nothing was around for miles, no one would hear my cries. I wept like I never had before. The memories of Jacob's warm embraces made me so cold, but I didn't dare reach toward the heater of my truck. My mind replayed those hugs, kisses, touches over and over again, along with the look of Sam's face, to the resounding tune of a gunshot. Each time, my heart broke a little more.

Hours later, I felt a warmth pass over me and knew it was over. I knew Jacob was gone forever. I knew this was his goodbye. I knew that my heart was broken, and nothing could mend it. I had been given my daylight, and my twilight. All that remained was the darkness, and I was ready to meet it. It no longer scared me, like it once had. Instead, it seemed like a welcome relief to the pain. I was content as it swallowed me whole.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Baby, why'd you leave me

Why'd you have to go?

I was counting on forever, now I'll never know.

I can't even breathe.

It's like I'm looking from a distance, standing in the background

Everybody's saying, “He's not coming home now.”

This can't be happening to me

This is just a dream.



This is just a dream...