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Not Like This

When Bella jumped off the cliff, Alice didn't see anything, and Jacob didn't make it back to the beach in time to pull her out of the sea when he did. What happens to Bella when no one is there to save her? May continue if you like it. R&R! (Be nice about the banner--it's my first time making one ^.^)


8. Seal Hunting

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Two weeks later, we were in Denali to help make my transition easier on me. The wind in Forks was too heavily laden with the human scent., and although I’d gotten loads better at ignoring it, my horrific daydreams scared Alice, and she advised Edward to take me away until the worst of the sensitivity to smells had passed. We met Tanya and her family for a few minutes, before Edward’s lips pressed into a thin line and he nearly shoved me out of the ornate home.

It was so weird walking out into a raging snowstorm and not feeling cold. The first time we got here, I pulled on a thick jacket out of habit and Edward had rolled around laughing at the expression of dumb disbelief on my face as I heated up quickly and shed the jacket outside.

“You don’t feel the cold anymore, remember? And as a new vampire, your tissues are still full of human blood, so your body will be less susceptible to cold until it has all been used up,” Edward explained, still chuckling as we were hunting for seal.

I heard one gently rubbing against the ice under my foot and punched through the ice easily, grabbing the terrified seal’s tail and snapping its neck so that I wouldn’t cause it unnecessary pain—even vampires have ethics and standards. “It’s still weird,” I grumbled, resenting the fact, yet again, I was the butt of a joke.

“You’ll get used to it,” Edward promised, before his lips twisted into a sardonic smile. “You’ll have to—it’s hard to die, you know,” he said bitterly, deftly dodging the flecks of blood spraying from my feeding—I still had some problems with being graceful, unfortunately. But of course, like everything else, I’d “get used to it.” I rolled my eyes at the thought—even the clinically dead aren’t satisfied. This world really was that cruel.

“I have to wait for everything,” I whined, feeling the need to get it off my chest the “human” way. “It’s not fair. I had to wait to be old enough for so much, then I had to wait to be turned because you insisted you wouldn’t do it, then I have to wait to talk to Jacob—may I remind you he’s my best friend?—and I have to wait to get used to being a vampire!” I tossed the carcass into the hole in the ice, leaving the meat for a whale to get, and plopped onto the ice with my arms petulantly crossed over my chest. “When does the waiting stop?”

Edward’s eyes flashed slightly, as if he was repressing an angry retort. I didn’t care at the moment. Everything was just so unjustified, as if the universe was picking on me for pure fun. “Bella,” he ground out,”You just have to be patient. These things don’t happen overnight—not even for vampires.”

I reeled back at the sound of acidic venom dripping from his voice. What the hell did I do? Sure, I whined a little, but he was acting as though I’d completely offended him! Unbidden rage swelled inside of me and I shot to my feet.

“Fine,” I shot back. “If you’re just going to attack me instead of being supportive, then I’m leaving.” I turned and ran across the ice, my vision obscured by the thick flakes of snow starting to fall. I could dimly hear Edward shouting behind me, but the distance I’d already put between us coupled with the roaring wind made his voice muffled so that I couldn’t clearly hear him.

The melting snow around my eyes stuck like little icicles to my skin before melting and sliding away like replacement tears for the ones I could no longer shed.

“It helps if you think of humans as people when your thirst hits,” Jasper had quietly explained to me not long after the failed attack on the campers. “They are people, with families that will miss them if they are gone. Brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, mothers and fathers. They are people. You are not God. You don’t get to decide who lives or dies. This is why you feed on animals—to let people keep the lives they live, whether it’s a good or bad life.” The conversation pounded through my head as I thought of everything I perceived as unfair that I had to endure. I couldn’t even visit my own father yet, for fear of outright killing him—stupid bloodlust. I’d never appreciated how hard it was to Edward to be so close to me when I was human until now.

I could hear Edward’s calls become suddenly more panicked. I almost stopped, confused, when I realized the source of his panic. I took another breath, stopping entirely in my tracks, and another. Then one more deep lungful—I knew that smell.


My stomach tightened as my mouth flooded with extra venom. My human nature warred with my vampiric one, as part of me readied for an attack and the rest of me tried to make myself move in the opposite direction.

Frantically I tried to remember what Jasper had said to me as the smell grew stronger, and gave it up as a bad job. So far I hadn’t moved an inch.

I could only hope Edward caught me in time to keep me from doing anything I’d later regret.