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Understanding

Summary:
Rosalie goes to La Push as a favor for Edward, but will she get what she came for? ...Or something more...?


Notes:
I originally wrote this for the non-cannon contest, but I couldn't stop writing! Hope you enjoy this as much as I do.


2. Chapter 2

Rating 5/5   Word Count 982   Review this Chapter

“Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.” -Kahlil Gibran

~*~*~

For the next second, all things seemed possible. I would be able to be free now that someone else knew. I could go on living like I did before Bella came along. I could find joy in the fact I was immortal. Hell, I could fly.

And then it hit both of us.

I pulled away quickly, as did he. I ran behind my car, afraid of who knows what. And then everything was impossible. What I just did completely dawned on me and I felt horrible. What had gotten into me? A werewolf? Honestly, Rose, what’s wrong with you? What about Emmett? Emmett… What had I done? I had risked everything for… for…

I looked back over to Jacob. He looked up at me cautiously, wondering if I was going to attack or retreat. He was so frightened, just like how I felt. I remembered what I had thought during our kiss. How could two things, so different and repulsed by the other, truly have the kind of connection we just had? Was it even possible? Was it all a dream? I turned my head back to the road, wondering what should happen now, but something caught me eye. My reflection. I’ve seen it, studied it, so many times, I can hardly count. But had it ever looked so…sad? Did I always have those creases at the end of my eye, my perfect mouth pointing downward? I looked normal. Like I always did when there was no expression there… yet. The girl in the mirror looked so sad. Depressed. Haunted, even. Was I haunted? It was possible. I looked back to Jacob, wondering if he saw the sadness in me. But he had the same look. That same emptiness, blankness. I can’t explain it. It was as if that mirror had suddenly sprung to life and shown me my worst fear. Jacob and I were alike, there was no doubt. But could it be possible that in our brokenness, we could make each other…whole?

It seemed like everything was still then. We had both come to the same realization and so it only seemed right to pause and gather out bearings. Our eyes met again and I felt such incredible joy… I can’t describe it. It was like there were fireworks lighting inside me. I wanted to jump up and down and scream and yell- something I have never been known too do, not even around Emmett. So with all these feelings boiling and bouncing around inside me, I decided to give in to them.

I started laughing. I’m not joking. I was laughing really really hard. I couldn’t contain myself. I was laughing out of sheer joy. Jacob started laughing too- understanding what I was doing. I ran to him, figuring I might as well give in to that feeling too, and embraced him, still laughing. I still think it was the happiest moment of my 100 year life. We just held each other- laughing, and when we pulled away, it was like magnetic forces bringing us back together again.

We spent the whole day like that. Sitting on the hood of my car, talking about anything and everything, completely in love with life and each other. But as the stars began to rise, something rose within me. What will my family think? I sat up and looked at my newfound love with a pained expression on my face.

“How are we going to do this?” I searched his eyes frantically. He simply shook his head.

“I don’t know,” he said, mirroring my expression. We knew it was time to leave then. It was hard, but it was done. So I drove home, a very different vampire than I was nine hours before. I still felt worried though, but for a different reason. How were they going to react? What would they do?

What about Emmett?

I walked into the house slowly, even for human. I still didn’t know what I was going to say- if anything at all. I had considered all the possibilities on my way home. I could pretend it never happened, and try to move on with my life… but that wouldn’t work. I would be absolutely miserable. And so would Jacob. I couldn’t do that to him, to me… to us. The word “us” gave me chills as I smiled to myself remembering the meaning of the word. The second possibility was to tell my family and hope they would understand. I mean, they took to Bella so well- why can’t they accept me and Jacob? Then again, Bella’s family isn’t trying to kill us. Then there was the third option, one even I was pained to think of. Could I… leave my family for him? It wouldn’t be hard to get away- that would be the easy part. But could I take that? I hadn’t been away from any of them for any longer than a summer. I didn’t even know if Jacob was willing to leave him family for me. And where would we go anyway? Not Alaska… perhaps somewhere in Canada.

I finally reached the house door and I opened it slowly- still deciding on what I wanted to do. When I came into the living room, everyone was there with a bewildered look on their face. Except Bella that is. Bella just looked confused. She always looks confused.

The room was silent for a moment. I tried to figure out what was wrong. Were the Voltouri coming? Did someone die? Edward was the first to speak.

“Rose…” it was barely a whisper, but I understood his meaning. He had read my thoughts. He knew what I did. The longer I stood in that room, the more I became aware of my smell. I stank of werewolf.