The Love I Chose
Jacob/Bella New Moon It took so much of her to love him. When everything schemes against them, will he betray that love? A request from Becka Swan. banner by iris, my favoritest fellow fangirl.
This is angsty. Jacob/Bella, even though I'm team Edward. Anyway... review. I don't withhold chapters for reviews, but it really is a great motivational tool.
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Maybe I believed. Maybe I didn’t. Maybe I couldn’t.
But I would try my best. I had to trust Jacob or I would fall apart again. I couldn’t let that happen. I couldn’t be the Bella that had fallen apart when Edward left her.
I had to separate myself from that girl, and from the girl Edward had loved. I had to be a woman now.
A grown-up. I couldn’t go chasing after my fairy tale prince.
If Jake left… it hurt to imagine. If he couldn’t take it, if he needed to be with the one he was meant to be with it… it would hurt, but it wouldn’t kill me the way it had when Edward left. I would survive. I was whole now, not the way I’d been with him, not full of joy and life and disbelief at my good fortune, but the person I’d been before him.
I would go on.
And no, I would never forget him. I would never forget the joy it was to have a love so all-consuming, but no more would I be consumed by it. I would move on. I would love Jacob. I would love someone else if he wouldn’t have me, or love no one at all. But I refused to be conquered by my anguish. I would be strong and move on.
I would not curl up in a little ball and die because I wasn’t enough for Edward Cullen to love.
No, I didn’t hate or blame him. Nor did I hate myself. It was no one’s fault. It was just a beautiful love that was over now. I was… not over him. In all honesty, his name would always hurt a little. I could never wear topaz or listen to Clair de Lune… maybe not any piano music.
But I could listen to the radio. I could read and watch TV and live again. I wouldn’t let him take that from me the way he’d taken himself.
Jacob would help, I think. I think he’ll stay.
I wouldn’t get my heart set on it, but I bet he would. The smart money was on it, because I might not be the one meant for him, but I was the one he chose out of all the girls in the world, and that was saying something.
Speaking of Jacob…
I turn away from my thoughts and towards his face. He is grinning.
“Bella, can I ask you something?”
“If… he came back, what would you do?”
“The same thing you did when the one meant for you came across your path, Jake. I’d stay right here. I’m not going off after daydreams anymore. What I had with Edward was beautiful, but it’s over.”
“You said his name.”
“Yes. Because I’m not clinging to him anymore. Oh, it still hurts, it’ll always hurt, just like you’ll always ache for her… but I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying right here, in your arms. I’m spending forever… or close to it, anyway, with you. With the love I chose.”
He chuckles. “Good way to describe it. It’s worth what I gave up to be with you. With the one I wanted, with the love I chose.”
I lie back in his arms and smile a true smile for the first time in a long time.