Edward and Bella Encounter a Cow

As usual, Edward was speeding down the road at, let’s say 120 miles per hour, while I sat in the passenger seat holding on for dear life. I continued to stare out of the front window terrified at the sight of a passing car I could have sworn flipped us off, but we were traveling so fast I couldn’t quite tell.

My gaze slipped back to the front and I noticed in the distance a black and white speck rapidly growing larger. When I finally realized what it was, I screamed “EDWARD, STOP THE CAR!”

His foot slammed the brake but we were going so fast the car didn’t come to a complete stop. We skidded along getting closer and closer to the black and white thing, now staring at us from the middle of the road. Gradually, we came to a stop, but not without lightly tapping the “thing”.

Its eyes grew wide and it fell over.

“No!!!!!! Edward you killed it!!! You killed the cow!!!!!” I screamed frantically. As I got out of the car, I heard a soft mooing noise. The cow had begun to get up and after scrambling to its feet, it looked at me like I was an idiot, than began to slowly lumber away.

I let out a sigh and looked back at Edward in the car. His hands were still on the steering wheel and he was twitching slightly.

“Edward?” I said. “Edward, are you ok?” I walked over to the driver’s seat and opened the door. He slowly turned to look at me and shakily said “... cow...”

“Um, Edward, it’s just a cow. No big deal!” I said reassuringly, but he shook his head.

“No... COW...” He mumbled and pointed behind me. Just then, I heard a roaring moo in my ear. I leaped in the air and turned around to see the cow standing right behind me, a satisfied look on its face.

“It wants to thank you for saving its life.” Edward said, trying to hold back a laugh. Since when do cows thank people for saving their lives? And I never knew Edward could read animals’ minds!! I thought. Running to the other side of the car, I tried to get back in, but I found the doors locked. Edward rolled down the window and said, “You two should have a moment alone.”

“Edward! It’s a cow!!! The only reason I made us stop was so WE wouldn’t die, not it!!!” I whined. The cow was hobbling over to me and I gave Edward a pleading look. He just laughed and rolled up the window.

I sighed again and turned to my new friend. It looked up to and seemed to smile at me. Patting its head I thought, well this isn’t that bad. It’s kind of cute! My new friend mooed happily and licked my hand.

“Aww I love you too!” I replied to the cows... moo? Was I talking to the cow? I shook my head and let the thought drift out of my head. The cow tilted its head and I interpreted it as a “who is that weird dude in the car who is laughing at you?”

Whipping my head around, I saw that Edward was in literally “laughing his ass off”. I gave him a glare and went back to talking to the cow.

“He’s my... um... that’s Edward.” I replied. The cow nodded and I smiled. A cow that could understand humans! That so cool! We have to take it home to show Alice!!! I thought. Scrambling back to Edward, I saw he already had the window rolled down.

“No Bella. We cannot keep a cow! Jasper would probably eat it and... Well... you just can’t keep it ok?” He said authoritatively.

“But Edward!” I whined. “It likes me and don’t you think it is cute?” He took a long look at the cow that had again followed me.

“I... you... FINE! We can keep it.” He grumbled.

“Yay!! Come on Oom!!” I said gleefully.

“Oom? What kind of name is Oom?” Edward asked

“Oom is moo backwards, silly!” I replied as I got into the car. Edward rolled his eyes and we started off slowly so the cow could follow us.