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Devil In Me

Summary:
A labyrinth of a hellish afterlife, full of vivid nightmares and pleasant day dreams. Jasper had to break away from Maria's suffocating hold somehow, right?
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Notes:
Ugh, I'm sorry for writing another story. I should be updating on Blinded by Darkness, but somehow this idea floated into my mind. :(

Anyway, lyrics used are Got A Hold On Me by Hanson.

Also, by the way, this is a gory story. If you get squeamish at blood, or don't like to see Jasper in a monstrous way, I don't suggest reading this. It takes place before he met Alice, and he's lonely and depressed. He does many things in this story that is unlike his character in Twilight and the rest of the books simply because he has no one. I tried to create a different kind of Jasper in this, a more savage and rouge character, and it isn't how he is in the series now.

So, don't be mad at me! :(


1. Sea Of Red

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1982   Review this Chapter


I get my fix for the last time
One more trip to the other side
I scratch my skin
Cause you leave me dry
I'm makin' deals with thieves and liars

You've got me wrapped up in your cancer
But I'm not quite what you thought I'd be

The sun was setting. The humid, sticky air hung around my dark, shadowy form. Far behind me, a dark and luminous twilight was covering the sky like a blanket full of stars and magic. I paced the dry, filthy roads of the sandy Texan desert. A soft breeze picked up under my feet, carrying the rough, colorful gravel with it. My eyes squinted at the blood red sky and I swallowed down the bubbling venom in my throat.

Blood. It was the only thing I could ever think of.

The sweet, thickness of it seemed to cloud my mind and vision, painting everything a crimson, gory shade of horror. But to me it wasn't horror one bit. It was bliss. Pure heaven and unadulterated ecstasy. My throat ached in torment as I watched the dull city below me. It was full of life, full of blood. Full of an untamed fire that lept higher each day; flames licking the surface of my unsatisfied hunger.

I could feel my gleaming red eyes darken from the thought. One taste couldn't hurt, could it? Just snatch one unfortunate homeless man from the outskirts of town. He wouldn't be missed. And neither would I as I fed. My feet itched desperately to drag me forward, to carry out the deed of killing. But the last shred of my consciousness, and life itself, held me back.

An image of Maria's face flashed before my eyes; her mahogany hair billowing wildly in the wind, her burgundy eyes glowing wide with full lips and porcelain skin. Her childish features were always imprinted in my mind, sketched and seared into the tissue.

I pursed my lips, she was always holding me back; telling me to keep control, to not massacre the whole damn town. I groaned, couldn't I control my life? Because that's what it was: my life. Plain and simple.

My
life. The thought sounded foreign in my weary mind. I had always been told by her that she was in control of me. That she made my decisions. That without her I would crumble and be possessed by the roaring demon inside of me, out of control and freed to act completely on impulse.

But what if there was a way to shove that back in her youthful, beautiful face? What if I could show her it was my life? What if I could show her I was in charge? Would I do it? Could I do it? Mostly, should I do it?

As the sun disappeared under the gloomy clouds that roamed the night sky, I reached a solution. Yes. Yes, I should.

With a grim smile on my face, I sprinted down to the city below, leaving sand swirling in my midst. A bright, full moon came into view, shining the city in rays of light. Didn't people always say monsters came out on full moons? A bitter, humorless bark escaped my lips. I believe they did. Especially tonight.

I started to slow as the outskirts rose up from the barren terrain. Droughts were catching on all around the area. So many people were dying of thirst. It brought me humor to know that soon I would be thriving and basking in the most delectable, seductive type of liquid.

"You, young man, what are you doing?" I turned swiftly, barring my pearly white teeth at the intruder. An old man leaned against the outer wall of a shabby, rotting house with a hand-carved wooden cane shaking under his frail grasp. He was covered in filth with sparse gray hair covering his wide head. His eyes, too blue to seem possible, squinted at me with an undeniable curiosity.

"Why, hello there, sir," I responded politely as I walked forward slowly. My lips formed a sneer, vicious and hostile, as a low chuckle escaped. Protruding weeds crumpled under my feet as I floated his way. His eyes widened considerably as he took in my appearance, healthy and inhumanly beautiful. An unfair advantage on my part.

"I've never seen ya before. What do ya want?" His low raspy voice reached my sensitive ears. He scratched his head absent-mindedly and I let the lustful scent of his rich blood envelope me like crimson silk. His filthy appearance made it obvious he was homeless. Perfect.

"You see, I'm lost. I need some help," I lied easily. One half of my face turned up in a friendly smile. The man nodded and looked toward the skies above thoughtfully.

"With what?" I watched as his throat constricted as he swallowed. His heart throbbed erratically in his rib cage as his pulse pounded in my ears. I ached to get closer, to slit his throat with my razor sharp teeth. To taste the prize of tonight's hunt. To murder, slaughter, and kill. To be the hunter I was destined to be.

"I'm thirsty," I murmured, my voice soft and gentle. He looked back at me with one eyebrow quirked. Confusion swelled into me from his very life form. I used my powers to calm him slowly. If I was really in the mood I would have created fear and fright, but I was simply too kind tonight. Lucky him.

"What'd ya want me to do?" His head cocked to the side as his crystal eyes looked at me with an icy penetration.

"This," I said simply.

And then I was on him. He yelled out but my hand went to his mouth instantly before he could even make a sound. His voice broke off into a gurgling and choking sound as I accidentally smashed his rib cage when it connected with my marble shoulder. A trickle of blood slowly ran down from his open mouth, his eyes staring pleadingly towards the heavens.

His fear rose, higher and higher, like it was reaching towards the climax of a great action movie. His fear would be over soon. I let myself relish in the feeling.

I snapped my teeth viciously, tearing and ripping apart the skin that stretched across his milky neck and moaned as his luscious, intoxicating blood filled my aching mouth. It soaked into my tongue, my taste buds exploding from the sweetness. It swished through my teeth and I swallowed in great gulps as I continue to shred him apart.

As I lost myself in the heat of the meal, his tremblings started to slow. His pulse met a dead end, literally, and I found myself regaining composure slowly. His heart beat cramped and strained and tried to start back up. But in the end, it wasn't enough. The heavy loss of blood and racing venom took his life. His heart slowly lost its beat.

Death. It took us all.

I yanked my head back, my tongue trailing over my blood stained lips. He was pale, completely drained of all blood and covered in a bluish hue from the opal moonlight. I felt refreshed, enlightened. It was like all my senses had been rejuvenated. I could hear the tiny squeaks of a mouse on the other side of town, see the prickly cactus many miles away, and I could smell. Blood. Mesmerizing and ambrosial.

Bloodlust was like the worst type of heaven to lose yourself in. A labyrinth of a hellish afterlife, full of vivid nightmares and pleasant day dreams. It was thrilling and exciting and satisfying at the same time. But then it felt unnerving. You felt disconnected and lost. Vulnerable. I didn't even notice when I stood up and blended into the shadows along the eastern walls of the city, a monster with malicious ruby eyes and a growing hunger.

I didn't even notice when I slipped onto the main road and grasped onto the collars of every homeless person I could find, snarling with blood stained teeth, creating a ruckus of shrieks. I didn't notice when I grabbed a small girl by the arm, ignoring her desperate cries for her mother and father. I didn't notice when I took on a drunken man and I still didn't notice when he smashed his beer bottle on my head. I didn't notice when I pulled on an elderly woman and dragged her writhing body into the dark alleyway. I didn't notice their fear, their agony. I didn't notice their adrenaline pumping through their veins, trying to save themselves.

I didn't notice when I slaughtered them all. When I sank my teeth into their buttery skin and took a taste of crazed emotions, of the most tempting type of seduction in the whole world. I didn't notice when all of their lives slowly drained into my craving throat; the silent and unmoving stoniness of their still hearts echoing around me.

I didn't notice when they all died in my iron arms.

My vision was covered in a deep red, sweeping up the walls of the city into a tidal wave of massacre and death. I killed nine people total that night; all homeless, all unwanted, all dead inside. Their hopes had died away the second desolation and poverty intruded on their lives. I took their pitiful lives away and gave them something more. I gave them what little chance they had of any type of pleasant afterlife.

They should be thanking me.

I hastily wiped my sleeve across my crimson lips, blood still tainting my teeth, a pale pink of dread. My eyes were bright, luminous and deadly. Lethal. And ruby red. They shined with savage sin bursting in their hostile irises. The eyes were the openings to my true self. No matter how I disguised myself, you would always know my monstrous ways from my gleaming eyes. It showed you the devil in me. In us all.

Venom pooled in horrendous puddles along the streets, blood covered the alley walls in a violent, horror story truth of murder. The only people who strayed in these areas was my type. Vampires. I had no concern of a human stepping into a burning liquid puddle of venom. I had no fear of a human spotting a drop of blood and looking up to see it splashing the walls in a sea of terror.

I crept through the sleepy alleys, picking up the cold corpses of all of my victims. Their glassy eyes stared back into my ruthless, flaming ones. Their still hearts beat no more, their pulses throbbed no more, their lungs pounded no more. Ribbons of blood dripped from their torn throats, covering their bodies in a sticky aroma of dried blood. Drip, drop. Drip, drop. It created a musical box horror tune of illusion in my scarred mind.

Fatal. That's what I was.

I buried them all; the little girl with her icy tears still slowly tracking down her face, her mouth open from a silent scream while she pushed and shoved against my hold on her tiny form. The elderly woman, her eyes wide with fright and her fingers blue from an unforgiving frostbite. The drunk man with his arrogant sneer and beer bottle in hand, trying to fight for the right to live. And the old man, the first one of the night, with his glazed eyes and musky smell, his icy eyes glaring at the starless sky above. And then, of course, the five others. The insignificant ones who had no destiny, no future, no life.

With a last pile placed over the last burial, a glittering sun peeped over the horizon. I didn't care one bit about the sun and my sparkling. There was no one around to see. No one to see my shimmering self in the sunlight. Truth be told, I felt no regret for what I had done. If anything, I felt released. I had shown Maria. I had shown her.

"Jasper, what have you done?" A scolding voice tainted my reverie from over my shoulder. Speak of the devil and the devil shall appear.