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Devil In Me

A labyrinth of a hellish afterlife, full of vivid nightmares and pleasant day dreams. Jasper had to break away from Maria's suffocating hold somehow, right?

Ugh, I'm sorry for writing another story. I should be updating on Blinded by Darkness, but somehow this idea floated into my mind. :(

Anyway, lyrics used are Got A Hold On Me by Hanson.

Also, by the way, this is a gory story. If you get squeamish at blood, or don't like to see Jasper in a monstrous way, I don't suggest reading this. It takes place before he met Alice, and he's lonely and depressed. He does many things in this story that is unlike his character in Twilight and the rest of the books simply because he has no one. I tried to create a different kind of Jasper in this, a more savage and rouge character, and it isn't how he is in the series now.

So, don't be mad at me! :(

2. Lost Loves

Rating 5/5   Word Count 2653   Review this Chapter

Walk the roads down the boulevards
Past the dollar shows for the bleeding hearts
You've used me up
Down to the last drop
But I'm more than what you thought I'd be
You thought you had control of me
But you never had your hold on me

"Massacred the whole town. What else?" I responded dryly, an unwavering sneer forming. Maria stepped in front of my crouching position, looking darkly down at the almost unnoticeable mark of the burial site that lay under her feet as the wind lightly lifted her dark hair in a veil of shadow.

"Why?" Her simple question brought my attention to her. Her sharp tone ripped through the tension like a razor sharp blade. Her eyes flashed menacingly in unadulterated anger as her lovely head cocked to the side with curiosity.

"Because I wanted to," I stated smugly and boldly. She nodded, a thoughtful expression on her power-hungry face. Her eyes grew darker by the second as anger radiated from her tiny form. I gracefully stood up, nudging the pile of dirt gently that covered the last of the carcasses.

"Because you wanted to, hm?" Her tone was sickly sweet, like poison, as I nodded. "Well, my dear, that isn't reasonable." Her snarl ripped through her chest as disgust and repulsion flowed off of her. I swallowed, this is what you wanted, Jasper, this is what you wanted, I reminded myself desperately.

"Well it will have to do," I calmly murmured. Her lips pursed into a grim, white line on her pale skin. She stood not three feet from me and I watched as her eyes narrowed into dark, angry slits. She started to tremble with uncontrolled infuriation.

"Is that truly what you wanted? To kill mercilessly?" Her flat voice questioned, her emotions suddenly turning to curiosity.

"No," I clearly said as I stared her in the eyes, "I just wanted to show you what I was capable of." My lips turned into a charming smile and her head raised; her chin jutted out defiantly. I watched as her thin arm raised warningly, and her hand flung towards my face with increasing speed. Before her hand even connected with the side of my face, I could feel the impact. Feel the stinging as her jagged nails cut through my marble skin. She smiled maliciously, mockingly, and I held my cheek as it began to quickly heal itself.

"I hate it when people say that," She leered, her lip curling in disgust.

"And I hate it when you do that," I snarled, gripping her tiny arm in my hand. She tried to snatch it back but I held on tightly, my bright and alarmed ruby eyes staring into her bottomless black ones. She wriggled and growled as I smiled lightly. She finally gave up, her strength wasn't a match for mine as she went limp in my arms.

"How am I supposed to love you when you act like this?" She spat out, bitterness coloring her outraged tone. I chuckled humorlessly as my face raised towards the suddenly cloudy skies above.

"Love? Is that what you call it? Seducing young men into becoming your own selfish army? Is this not how you treat everyone? Is this not what you say to everyone? You're disgusting with your antics on over-powering the south. It's ridiculous and pathetic. Sex does not always run with power! I am not yours and I am not yours to command. Do you know what it feels like to be demanded of to kill someone? To kill your own kind? Newborns at that? They're wild and out of control, and they could lead some sort of normal vampiric life, but you tell us to slaughter them all! To rip their pretty heads off of their bodies without any type of consent for them! Well, news to you, love, you're the one who is wild and out of control!" I bellowed, tossing her skinny arm from my grasp. She stared back at me, shock written all over her beautiful face and bursting from her emotions.

"What did you just say?" Her emotionless voice questioning my sanity. I had never heard of anyone talking to her like this, and who ever had hadn't survived long enough to tell the tale.

"You heard me, Maria." My lips turned upwards in a ghost of a smile. My face clouded over in innocence as her nostrils flared and her full lips curled over her pearly teeth.

"You accuse me of the wrong things, Jasper Whitlock. You talk of me as if I am a blood lusting creature that rises from the darkness of hell. I am not such. I am a goddess in the eyes of our people. I am giving them a chance to roam the southern lands, free of worry if they're going to have a hearty meal in the next month. I am heaven sent," She smirked, her eyes glowing in happiness. I scoffed at the idea.

"Goddess? You're nothing like a goddess, love, you're more like a succubus! Luring men into doing your selfish deeds of gaining power and ownership over land!" I roared as she flinched, looking visibly hurt by my words. Good, I wanted her to suffer for all the wrong she had done.

"And would you be alive, Jasper Whitlock, if I had not done what I did?" She moved closer to me, her eye brows furrowing in confusion. Her wide eyes shone with tears that would never fall. My eyes narrowed as her bottom lip quivered in pain.

"Probably, yes," I inclined my head to the right, down to where the city lie below. If I was still human, not a demonic monster like I was now, I would probably be alive. She let out a whispering laugh, sounding more like a gentle hiss in the air.

"You think so, love, but you're wrong. You would have been brutally killed in that fruitless war like everyone else. I saved you," She spoke tenderly, stroking my cheek with her slender finger. "Don't you understand? Without me you'd be dead, Jasper. I couldn't sit there and watch someone like you, someone with such potential, be blown to pieces from a war. My heart couldn't stand it," She whispered as her other hand covered her chest where her heart should be.

"You don't have a heart, Maria. You're a cold, heartless monster," I said lowly as she traced my lips with her fingertip. Her girlish giggle met my ears and my head whipped to see her face more clearly. I didn't know it was possible to love someone and hate them at the same time. I was under her spell, and yet I despised her. I wanted to break way, yet I wanted to be her favorite. Jealously swelled within me when I saw her with the other males in her army, giving them special attention and passionate kisses. I deserved that, did I not? I gave up everything for her.

"Well, we're two of the same, are we not?" Her lips puckered in a seductive way and I closed my eyes. I felt too weak to break away from her, when I had just wanted to hurt her like never before not even a day before. It was a hopeless, endless, and deadly game to play with her and I knew it.

"No, we're not, Maria. I will never be like you," I growled huskily as I pushed her away. Her emotions held something I had never felt from her before. Pain and love. It was almost too unrecognizable for me, but it was there, shielded by anger that seemed to never evaporate from her.

"Why? Why do you tell yourself such lies?" She hoarsely mumbled, her one hand clenched into a tight fist. Her voice rang with an inconceivable amount of pain and suffering.

"They aren't lies, Maria. They're truths," I harshly bit back. Her eyes widened as she looked at me. It was like she was seeing me for the first time as her hand unclenched and she reached for my hand.

"You hate me, don't you?" Her face crumpled in absolute horror. To me, it seemed like she was realizing the long-awaited truth for the first time: That she was a monster. Her mouth formed a perfect 'o' as her eyes moved downcast.

"I don't hate you, love. I, well, sometimes I feel like I do, but then I don't. It's so hard to understand, Maria, so hard," My voice softened as her eyes held a small bit of hope. The truth was that my feelings were constantly changing when it came to her. It was so easy to hate and love her at the same time.

"Am I a terrible person?" She questioned, her youthful face looking towards the heavens above as if they held the secrets of the universe; as if they were a cryptic puzzle waiting for her to figure it all out.

"No, dear, you're not. You're just different and misunderstood. You just don't comprehend all that goes around you," I mumbled, taking in her appearance. Her eyes narrowed and then squeezed tightly shut. Her feelings swelled with desperation and love.

A fat drop of rain fell from the skies and I looked up. It only rained here around 15 times a year. I looked in wonder as the clouds throbbed with power and danger. A storm was gathering overhead.

Before I knew what had happened, she was in my arms. Her hands grasped onto my shirt collar tightly, like she would never let go. Her head fit into the crook of my neck and I could feel her icy breath; exhale, inhale. Her childlike frame shook with dry sobs as she clung to me in the middle of the drizzling rain. I wrapped my arms around her petite waist and held her as tightly as I could.

"I love you," She whispered into my neck. I froze. Love? Love. She loved me. I didn't know what to say to that. She had told me it a million times and not once did I believe her; it was one of her many tricks to gathering men to kill and fight for her. But something about how she said it, firm with such belief and clarity, made it different.

"Don't say that." I was desperately trying to put not only myself, but her back together, too. She was so indestructible, yet the simplest of words could bring her down to an unrecognizable state of frenzied panic.

"Why? It's the truth, Jasper." She pulled from my grip so we could be eye level as her legs draped around my waist. Her eyes were wide with meaning as she tried to persuade me to believing her.

"Do you know how many times you've told me that, love? Do you know how many times you've told someone else that?" I murmured as I traced her lips with my thumb. She whimpered under my touch as her feelings went out of control.

"This is different! I love you and only you! It's always been that way, and I just didn't see it. But I do now, love, I do now," She mumbled against my thumb. I looked into her eyes, so wide and trusting, but I couldn't find it in myself to believe her, to know that she was right. I just couldn't.

"You just realized this?" I questioned her, doubt covering my wavering voice. I wasn't ready for this, to know that she loved me more than all those other men that lusted over her. Plus, what would even happen now? Would we be mates? Would our relationship be hushed and kept secret as she had her flings with the other soldiers? I didn't want that, couldn't want that.

"Yes, I did. I've always had a soft spot for you, Jasper, you must know that by now. But I now know it's so much more than that. You are mine." She smiled impishly as she tugged on my collar. I had never seen her like this; so affectionate and sweet. So innocent. It was such a difference from her usual aggressiveness.

"I am no one's," I croaked as I pried her tiny hands from my collar and set her down. She looked at me, her face full of confusion and hurt. Hurt was the most defined in her dark burgundy eyes; it bubbled to the surface and seemed to overflow my senses.

"Are you trying to tell me something?" Her flat voice echoed around me. Worry flowed from her to me, along with nervousness. Her eyes were all of a sudden dead and cold, shrouded with misery.

"I'm leaving, Maria, and I'm not coming back," I responded, my voice just as flat as hers. Her eyes widened in shock as she breathed out heavily.

"You can't be serious." Her eyes dared me to say I was, and yet I crossed her wishes. Again.

"I am serious, Maria, I am," I whispered looking at the horizon, ignoring her dumb-founded look as the rain pounded against the ground. A crack of lightning whipped overhead, illuminating the dark skies with a brilliancy of light. A boom of thunder echoed loudly, shaking the ground with its volume. Her dark hair flew in strands around her, her cheeks were as hollow as her lips were red.

"Don't do this," She whispered. If I hadn't of had the hearing I did, I wouldn't have heard her almost inaudible voice. It was tinged with sadness and enveloped in bleakness.

"I'm sorry, Maria. I really am sorry." I gently took her delicate face in my hands and she closed her eyes peacefully. Such hurt and pain poured from her. I felt like I would be swept up in the tidal waves of her emotions. I swiftly brushed my lips against hers, reveling in the iciness of them. She gasped lightly but her eyes stayed tightly shut. Her arms wrapped around my neck and pulled me towards her. Our lips moved together as her fingers knotted in my hair. I brushed my fingers along her face, memorizing each feature.

And then I gently pulled away. I pried her fingers from my hair and unlatched her legs from my waist. She tried to hold on, but I set her lightly on the ground. Her tortured face turned upwards, gazing at me in wonderment.

Then, I walked away.

I left her standing there in the middle of a lethal storm, her clothes billowing around her from the heavy winds. Her hair whipped viciously around her face, creating a blanket of soft black around her. Her piercing eyes lit up the skies, dark and hard, like onyx.

As I rushed away I could hear her say one last thing, "You're breaking my heart, love, with each step you take it crushes." But the reality was, she had no heart. And she never would.

That was the last time I ever saw Maria.


That night a figure in black massacred the many towns in Texas. Along with the storm that raced across the deserts, a beautiful monster did, too. In an action of heartbreak and desperation, she killed thirty five people. Blood swept through the alley ways, a horror scene come to life. Bodies went missing in the dirty, dark cities. Families grieved for their vanishing friends and loved ones. Maria's killing spree wasn't even a match for Jasper's terrorizing death run the night before.

She kept up her act of creating a malicious army and when they failed her, she realized why: Jasper was the heart of her army. Without him, they were nothing. Her dreams of ruling the south were put to end the second he walked out of her life. She traveled miserably around the continent, searching for her lost love, the one she who would always own her heart.

But she never found him.