Sequel to Protect Her, Love Her, and Hold Her. Claire is a medical intern. She and Quil are deeply in love, but he's still haunted by ghosts that whisper one word... failure. Will he overcome his fears and regrets to take the next step? Will their truest of loves ever bind them into one?
Read the prequels first. And review them! This series has the sixth most reviews out of any on the site, and i'm angling for first. ambitious, right? so review a lot! i'm pretty shameless, but i will never withhold a written chapter to get reviews. however, my life is full and i am writing lots of little sidefics, not to mention a novel, a full-length play, and an award-winning-to-be compilation of original short works. oh, and school, but that's not important. EXPECT updates twice a week. they often come as soon as twice, three, once even SEVEN times a day. i'm good, i know. but when this happens, i expect rewards, in the form of reviews. and i own nothing.
4. Chapter 5
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I kept the pain well-hidden on the rare occasions Claire and I were in the same house. I didn’t want her to suffer. Couldn’t let her suffer.
You see, I’d done some thinking. She had another reason than the obvious fear. That was an excuse. I knew her too well too believe she could be controlled by mere fear. There was something more. I didn’t know what it was, but she would tell me when she was ready.
Until then I would wait. Had I not sworn to wait forever for her? Wait is exactly what I would do.
At least I had some consolation. I knew I had some love. But that was poor comfort when I saw the two of them, laughing. Or the guilt in her eyes…
I wondered how Bella survived. I’d seen her misery in Jake’s memories…
Hers must have been worse. Not only her love, but the love of the one she loved, taken in one cruel moment. I can’t imagine surviving such a thing.
No, I was not as strong as Bella. I was dying and I knew Claire loved me.
I couldn’t take it! Help! Help! Ah, but there was no help. I had failed all those years ago, and this was the punishment.
I would endure it. Claire.
I felt the gash in my soul widen. I wondered if the pain was even comprehensible to one who hadn’t known it. Suddenly, I missed Bella Swan, no, Bella Cullen. My enemy, but a good friend. And I knew, I knew she would understand this.
Claire. Please, come back to me.
I could only entreat her silently- I would never be so cruel as to reveal my suffering soul. No, only my heart could beg for her sweet mercy, as daily it did.
I wanted nothing more than her. I wanted her more than the nothing that loomed, threatening, dark against the shining memories.
I knew she was safe. Shouldn’t that be enough?
It should be, but it isn’t… and she isn’t happy. I can tell that from the look in her eyes when she sees me. I could make her happy.
But she doesn’t want me to be the one. So I’ll watch her suffer, if I must, anything. Anything. I would do anything for her.
I love her.
Why couldn’t she understand? I couldn’t live with out her.
I wanted to blame her sometimes, but I didn’t have it in me. I couldn’t loathe or despise her. My heart was so full of love there was no room for any other emotion. I couldn’t bring myself to wish for her return. She would do what she needed.
I would wait. Forever, if necessary. I would always believe she would return to me, because otherwise I could not live. It was really as simple as that.
I loved her.
She was gone.
I couldn’t move on.
I couldn’t compel her to return.
So I would wait for her own desires to bring her back to my waiting arms. I would always, always be waiting.
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- 31 Mar 08
- 12 Apr 08