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Dream's Shadow

Summary:
This is my take on the over- and usually poorly- done plot. Edward leaves Bella again. She is changed and they meet again in the future. There will be a big twist! Requested by Iris. Banner by Iris!

Notes:
Try it! I know stories like this usually stink, but I thought I'd give it a try. I own nothing. Stephenie Meyer owns all.

3. Chapter 3

Rating 5/5   Word Count 576   Review this Chapter

Yes, I would go. Charlie would understand. My disappearance would probably pain him less than my emptiness, anyway.

Maybe the Volturi would change me, and I would be strong and beautiful, and he would love me.

No, that was silly. He could never love me. Never, never.

Besides, I smell good. They’ll just eat me, and then my suffering will at last be over. I hope they have Edwards in heaven. I was there when he loved me, I hope I will return when I die.

I was honestly stupid enough to expect him to wait for me. When I knew he was only second best…

But he’d said…

No, he’d never promised to wait. That had been… Edward.

AH!

Damnit. Couldn’t even think the name. The pain lanced through me. I felt my stomach acids eating through my shoes, like my internal walls had been breached and all my organs were jumbled up like the handwriting of a dyslexic six year old.

And he couldn’t wait, after all. Didn’t want me even when I’d chosen him… not even a choice, really.

Jake, I need you. I love you. Not like I love him, but enough, it could have been enough, if you’d been there I’d have lived, Jake, now I’m dying, look what you’ve done.

And then after interminable months of my slow dying, Jacob opened the front door as I was making dinner.

“Hey? Bells?”

“Jake.” I was delighted to see him, but I couldn’t show emotion. Not wouldn’t, couldn’t.

“What’s wrong?”
“Jake. Oh, god. Jake, he left me again! You were right, he never loved me, it was all a lie… I’m so sorry! I’m so glad you’re here, he’s gone…” and sorrow and fury and relief and love and pain warred in my gut.

Jake’s brow twisted. “Bella, I am sorry. I guess you probably don’t want to hear this… Bella, this is Aliene. Aliene, Bella.”

She was slender, busty, and beautiful. I knew then that he was never mine, any more than the other him was.

“Oh. You imprinted.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Nothing you could have done.”

I should have said something kind to Aliene, who looked frightened out of her wits, but I didn’t have it in me. Jake looked kindly and regretfully on me for one more minute, and then he left.

I was grateful for that.

Now I could fall to pieces without the inconvenience of his stupid girlfriend’s prying eyes, without his pity.

I couldn’t stand pity. Couldn’t take that pain compounding pains. I was in agony. It wasn’t Jake’s fault, of course. It was my own rejection that had led him to take flight and find her.

I had no one to blame but my own damn self.

Own fault, own fault, own fault.

Echoed like curses.

No one else to blame. No one else to hate. An endless cycle of agony.

Once my life had been love. Hadn’t I suffered enough? What crime could be worth this?

Whatever fire and brimstone he believed in, this, this was true hell. He knew nothing of pain, nothing of torture. He had not felt this.

I whispered a word into the loneliness. “Please.”

I didn’t even know with whom I was pleading or what I supplicated for.