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Dream's Shadow

Summary:
This is my take on the over- and usually poorly- done plot. Edward leaves Bella again. She is changed and they meet again in the future. There will be a big twist! Requested by Iris. Banner by Iris!


Notes:
Try it! I know stories like this usually stink, but I thought I'd give it a try. I own nothing. Stephenie Meyer owns all.


42. Chapter 42

Rating 0/5   Word Count 559   Review this Chapter

Fortunately, Alice gives up on the shopping venture by midnight. I am once again decidedly female in appearance. It may or may not be a relief- there was far less risk of being forced into heels in male costume, though when Alice is in question, no one is safe from those deathtraps.

I grumble at her the entire way home… a ride much shorter than I find at all reasonable. Evidently, the change has not instilled in me the same disregard for traffic regulations it did in the others. I am glad to maintain my identity, but Alice has no sympathy for my weakness. “Oh, Bella. Shut up. You’ll see Edward sooner this way.”

“Have you no shame?”

“None. Now, if you have to throw up, don’t do it on your new clothes.”

“Vampire.”

“Right… I’m so used to pandering to your human weaknesses. Maybe that’s just me being silly.”

I smack her. Not hard, since I’m being careful with my newfound strength. She laughs.

“And remind me to kill Edward sometime soon. Bella, in all seriousness… I’m so sorry. I should have seen it, I don’t know how I didn’t. I should have done anything. Something.”

“It’s not your fault. He probably was really careful, playing off the holes in your vision…” Of course, I didn’t blame him, either. I was never one to hold him hostage at my side. But Alice had no reason for guilt. She had never wanted to abandon me.

“Thanks, Bella. I’m never letting him be an idiot like that again. You know he loves you, right?”

My answering grunt of assent was unconvincing. How can a grunt be unconvincing? The whole reason I didn’t use my words was out of fear that my voice would break into an indeterminate mumble, or worse, that I would break down into sobs.

“You don’t sound very confidant.”

“How can I be? Alice, I’m nothing compared to him. I can’t be good enough, no matter how much I want to, and he’ll always leave me… always, because he can’t love me as much as I love him.”

I am, in fact, breaking down. Fantastic.

Alice sighs and places a hand on my shoulder. “Bella, I know how you feel. Being afraid is part of being in love. When I met Jasper, I was so afraid that I didn’t know how to be normal for him, to compare to Maria, who’d taught him our ways. I was utterly dependant on him, practically a savage. And I asked so much of him, so soon. On top of it all, I still don’t feel like I deserve him. I think it’s just part of life. When you love someone that much, nothing can ever be enough for them.”

“Honestly, though, you’re insecure? You? But you’re… so beautiful.”

Alice laughs. “Bella, have you looked in a mirror recently?”

“I was dressed as a guy.”

“Good point. But honestly, before that?”

“Yeah.” And I didn’t compare to any of the Cullen women. My appearance would never be exceptional.

“You need to see yourself more clearly… and I am insulted. I find my work on your looks most satisfactory. I think someone else will agree with me.”

Speak of the devil…