Fairy Tale Endings are for Disney Movies
Edward sees the mistakes of letting things go to far in the world where he only sees in black and white.
Winner of Character Challenge: looora!
Congrats! Read about Looora's character in Chapter four!Which brings me to my next point...
Chapter Four: Scream
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You know when you're running in a dream - from some maniacal crazy person with a chainsaw - and you can't seem to run fast enough, and then, like you knew he would, the maniacal killer gains on you, knocks you down, and is about to kill you when-
The phone rang, breaking me free of my train of thought, and I shot up in bed. The sun was entering the room from the East window, and I knew I been asleep for at least an hour. Why wasn't Jake back yet? I picked up the squelching phone and put it to my ear. "Hello," I answered.
"Yes, this is Jennifer Sealy, from the front desk. I'm just calling to see if you are staying for another night, and to ask permission to charge this on your card if you are." She was polite, but I knew what she was really asking. Do you have the money to stay another night? I mentally calculated what was left of my bank account and pursed my lips.
"No," I answered after a moment of debate. "I'll come down in a bit and check out." I decided, and hung up. My wish of maintaining the perfection in every moment with Jacob was over and done with , and I hadn't even gotten the chance to savour it. Now we were going to have to go home and face my parents, and his. Running away seemed like a very stupid idea now.
I lifted the covers and tossed them aside and cringed as my bare feet hit the cold hardwood floor. I got dressed as I waited for Jake to come back. I was glad for the bit of time I had to myself, though - surprisingly. I needed the time to compose myself as I prepared to tell him that we were going home. I needed him to be here to hold my hand encouragingly as we faced our parents.
"Bella," his voice came, literally, out of nowhere. I dropped the shirt I was pulling over my head and fell forwards. He caught me before I landed.
"Holy crap, Jake!" I growled, picking myself up off the floor without his help - he hadn't even offered it. "Couldn't you make the floorboards squeak when you come in?" I composed my face and turned around.
Something was wrong. Very, very wrong. "Jake?" I asked in cowardly lion voice. "Jake, is something wrong?"
His eyes were crossed with pain and suffering. I wrapped my arms around his torso, and lay my head against his shoulder. "Bella." He said my name again, and very slowly - with deliberate hesitation, he put his hand on the back of my hair. His muscles were tense.
"Is something wrong?" I asked again, moving back and inch so I could look up at his watery eyes. He nodded slowly. I felt my heart stop completely and the breath whooshed out of my lungs. "What..." I stopped when the word was lodged in my throat. "W-What happened?" I asked, unable to think of any possibilities.
"Bella," He said my name slowly, stretching out the syllables. "Bella," he said again. "I think I've imprinted."
The words I'd hoped never to hear had been spoken, and I could hear a popping sound in my ears, and I couldn't tell if that was just my jaw dropping. I wanted to scream. I knew I was wearing my emotions on my sleeve, and by the look that Jacob's face took on, I knew it was less than calm.
"I'm sorry, Bella, I'm so sorry... I never knew... I never had a chance..." He wrapped his arms around me in comfort, but I found nothing comfortable about his stiff arms - burning hot but without warmth. "If I had a choice, I would've chosen you... but this is something that is utterly out of my control..." He was babbling now. It hurt for him to say it.
"I love you, Jake."
"I know, Bella." I cringed at the rejection.
"What do we do know, Jake?" My voice was tinier than before.
"I don't know, Bella."
"We have to go home today." I remembered, surprised at the coolness in my voice. Was this really me who was speaking? Inside I felt like someone had set me on fire. The holes in my chest, though once healed, were now torn apart, and the edges were burning, so that there was no hope that they would ever close.
Death would seem welcome now, at these times, when there is no light in my life. She's gone. And probably never coming back. I'd held my breath for too long. I sucked in a breath of air now, only to close off my lungs again. There was no point in breathing. I wouldn't suffocate, and I wouldn't die. I hated what I was more than ever. I despised me for being me. I despised every aspect of who I was - but I did not despise Carlisle. As cruel as this life was, Carlisle hadn't created me hoping this would be the way I would turn out. He had saved me... because... well, I didn't know why, exactly.
Just like I didn't know the reason for anything anymore.
Carlisle was calling to me from the other room. Whatever he wanted me for, he didn't think about it so I had no idea as I walked into that room. Even she would want for me to try to be normal... on the outside... wouldn't she?
"Edward," Carlisle said my name with relief. I thought you would ignore me. He thought, smiling. As much as I understand your pain - there really is no point to moping around. That's not what Bella would've wanted for you. He thought these things - knowing I wouldn't want to hear his sympathies out loud - not that it would make much of a difference.
I grimaced, and nodded. "What did you call me for?"
"Kyra, the head nurse at the hospital - is out sick for the week. A couple of the other nurses have caught it too. I would really appreciate it, Edward, if you might step in and help out around the children's ward." He smiled encouragingly. "There was some food poisoning at the McKinley's birthday party yesterday night, and a lot of patients have checked in. I've told the other doctors and nurses about your interest in the medical field - and told them about the time in Alaska when you took that course-"
"Sure, why not." I answered in a monotone. Maybe this would get me thinking about other... not so painful things.
"Alright. I'm going to the hospital now. Would you like a ride? They're expecting you at about five." It was not yet time, and having no need to prepare anything for my shift, I was surprisingly eager to get to work.
"Sure, why not." My vocabulary seemed to consist only of that one phrase. I wondered when this shadow of darkness would finally leave me - but realized how much closer I was to her when I was thinking about our current situation too much. It caused me pain to think about her - but I couldn't help myself. There was a miniscule fraction of her light in the dull, echoed memories, and I clung onto those desperately.
I followed him out the door and into the shed out back, which we had converted into a garage. Emmett and Rose were washing the monstrous Jeep, and stared at me in amazement as I walked past. I hadn't left the house in weeks.
"Tired of the stale air in your room, Edward?" Emmett asked, accompanying the words with a smirk. Glad you've finally left your cage, Ed. He grinned at me and turned back to the jeep, which he had begun to coat with polish.
"Bella Swan is no good for you." Rosalie said. I heard the cutting off sound as both Emmett and Carlisle stopped breathing. She chose right, though. She showed no sign of repentence in the smile she then displayed.
"Rose, that's... not-" Emmett took her by the arm and squeezed in warning.
"What's not? Emmett? It's true. Bella Swan is no good for Edward. She's human, Emmett. And that's the way it's supposed to be. We're right to keep our distance from the humans. We shouldn't touch their lives - it impacts them too much. It tampers with destiny. And the damage we've done - well, we should be glad she chose Jacob Black over this." She bared her white, incisor-like rows of teeth and wrenched her arm away from Emmett.
I wished that I hadn't tampered with Bella Swan's destiny. I wanted more than anything, for her, to have never met me, a monster - doomed to an eternity of darkness and more darkness. I was burning in hell - for the sins I'd committed. For the fact that I had caved in to the monster in me and coveted Bella Swan. For the fact that I had done something irreversible and for the fact that I wasn't doing anything to correct this. "Thank you, Rosalie." I said, keeping my voice level. "Thank you for helping me see my mistakes. And thank you, Rosale - for being the one to remind me of who I am every time I start to forget. Thank you." I straightened my back and strode swiftly out of the room, sparing none of them a backward glance.
I got to the hospital by five, and even beat Carlisle there. I didn't want to disappoint him - my mentor, my father - he hadn't done anything wrong by his or my standards. I was ready now to throw myself into this job and redeem myself, maybe even a little.
Later, I realized why I was really doing it. I was clinging onto the slim chance that maybe Bella would turn around and chose me. I had promised to be waiting in the wings on the off-chance that she might think she was better off with me. All the things I'd said or thought about my soul - and how I was already condemned - was overshadowed by the fact that I was much, much too selfish to give up my love for my soul. And if and when she decided to choose me, I would like to be able to say that I hadn't spent the entire time agonizing over her and curled up in a ball.
“Edward! It’s nice seeing you around!” Mrs. Clovelly, the head receptionist at the front desk greeted me with a big smile. “I haven’t seen you around here in so long!” I didn’t smile at her. “What are you doing in this neck of the woods?” “I heard the hospital was short on helping hands. So I came to help.” My voice was as animated and friendly as I could manage – which wasn’t very animated or friendly at all. “Is Carlisle here yet?”
“No, dear. He’ll be in any moment now. Why don’t you take a seat and wait until he gets here? He’ll probably have plenty of errands for you to run. We’re not short on odd jobs, I can tell you that.” She chuckled without humor. That lousy old Jenny is out again – probably in Vegas or something. She never calls in sick – just sends emails as if I have time to read them!
A corner of my mouth twitched in attempt of a smile and I went to take my seat on the hard plastic chairs. Carlisle entered the sliding doors of the hospital just moments afterwards. “Edward,” he breathed, relieved at the sight of me. I had thought you would’ve taken off after what Rosalie said. Not that you’re one to run.
I nodded at him. “So, what is it I should get started on?”
“There are a few children in the burn ward of the hospital that need some checking up on. There’s a little girl there – whose parents died in a forest fire. She needs her bandages changed. Do you think you can do that?” He tried on a smile.
“Without a doubt.” And my eyes narrowed. If there was any blood I would take off. I stalked off in the opposite direction.
The burn ward reeked of medicine and bleach. The walls, already a sickly grey, were depressing. No wonder people hated hospitals. No wonder I wanted to take off.
I pushed open the doors to the burn ward, and sitting upright in her bed, flipping through a picture book was a young girl, probably around eight or nine years old. The left side of her face was covered in a white bandage that covered her eye and extended down to her shoulders and left arm. She looked up at me when I entered, and I could see that the skin that wasn’t obscured by the bandage was pale.
“Hello,” she said in a high, child’s voice. “Are you my new nurse? My old nurse said someone would be replacing her while she’s on maternity leave.” “Yes, I guess I’m your new nurse.” It was funny how words sounded so foreign to me.
“I’m Yvette Greyrose and I just turned nine years old.” Daddy promised to buy me a pony for my birthday. But he never got the chance. Her accompanying smile threw me off from her thoughts. She was so pure, so bright. I felt a surge of hope run through me.
“My name is Edward and I’m here to change your bandages.” I managed to say the words without warmth at all – even thought that had been what I was aiming for. I walked out of the room briefly to fetch the supplies, and when I returned, Yvette had already taken off her bandages.
I withdrew impulsively at the sight of her severe burns. She smiled, as if my reaction did not faze her at all. Her answering smile was as bright as her eyes. He’s surprised! Yvette thought.
Her bare skin, or at least what was left of it, wasn’t pale like the rest of her body. It was charred brown and black in some places – her left eye was milky white, and completely blind. There were scabs and blisters all over her skin like the surface of the moon – a deep crater that I soon realized was just her collapsed cheekbone. “Are you alright?” Yvette smiled encouragingly at me. “If you don’t mind, I’d rather not let my face get cold.”
“Of course,” I said, stepping forward to close the gap between us. “What is your favourite subject in school, Yvette?” I asked, trying to distract myself as I bandaged the gruesome wounds.
“Well, I like art class, but I haven’t been to school since the fire. I really like to draw. Horses, especially. Doctor Snow says I might not be able to use my left hand later… but I guess that’s okay. I can learn to draw with my right hand, right?” She glanced up at me with that same, toothy smile and I found myself smiling back.
“Yes, look on the bright side – that’s always good.”
“Yeah – when my Dad was still around he always told me that, too. You remind me of him. He was real pale, too – like me, before the accident.” There wasn’t a trace of bitterness that crept into her voice as she spoke. “I miss him a lot. My mom, too. They were both really… good at being… happy. They were always happy.” She thought of the past now, and I felt a wave of fresh nostalgia. She was swimming in a lake. Yvette went down under the water. A man dives into the water, grabs her by the waist and hoists her upwards. She surfaces, spluttering. The man drags her to the shore. He brushes the hair back from her forehead just as a woman comes running from the wood cabin. Yvette opens her eyes.
I finish twisting the last of the bandages around her arm and find that she has fallen asleep. “Thank you,” I whisper, and leave the room.