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Never Let Go (The Fog)

Summary:

(Previously The Fog) My heart stopped, the world stopped, and then in a rush it flooded back. My mind buzzed with thoughts as I ran as fast as I could, knowing I was too late. I could smell it too now. My nostrils flared and my knees buckled underneath me, an all too human feeling. My breathing coming in frantic sobs, I finally made it. I threw myself at the heat, like a sacrifice on the altar. I roared against the flames against the voice in my head. But the velvet couldn’t be drowned out, “Bella, What if I can’t save you? What if I’m the super-hero and the bad guy?” I screeched in defiance at the flames. My body wouldn’t stand the inferno much longer, but I didn’t leave. Then I saw it, my proof, and I finally allowed the strong cool hands to pull me from the fire. After the wedding and Bella’s change Edward and Isabella are looking forward to their happily-ever-after, forever. But fate doesn’t like to be predictable. Full of never ending questions, intense suspense, and drama The Fog definitely questions the picture-perfectness of Breaking Dawn. "I love it!" "This is a fantastic story..." "intense" "well written..." “I’m waiting for an update on the edge of my chair!”


Notes:
enjoy. the begining is a little slow but it picks up well, or so i'm told! i would love constructive reviews!


13. Demons and Hallucinations

Rating 5/5   Word Count 3628   Review this Chapter

Bella lay on the blood soaked bed writhing in pain. "Carslisle, give her some more morphine, please. She needs just a little more." I begged.

Reluctantly Carslisle slipped the safety cap off the needle of the syringe and poked it into Bella's creamy skin, her lovely creamy skin. The same skin that I had mercilessly flayed with my own teeth.

My beautiful angel was lying in her own blood, slick with it. I wanted to puke, or leave, or die. I am such a complete fool! How could she forgive this?

Look at yourself, you monster. You didn't even have the balls to finish what you started, end her misery. Look at what you've done to the only one who has ever loved you as wholly as she has. There's no going back now. It's all over. You should get out of here so that she doesn't have to see your demented face ever again. She will never trust you again. And she will be scared of you the rest of your existence. Look what you've done. She didn't deserve this.

But she loves me. I insisted.

Loved. How could she love you after you've turned on her, shown her the monster inside of you. You unleashed on her, and she will hate you for the rest of her days.

She wanted this, though.
Look at her! She wanted to be mulled by a beast? She wanted that pain? If not for Emmett, Carslisle and Jasper pulling you off you would have leeched her dry. Stop fighting who you are. Aren't you thirsty? She smells heavenly, her taste is indescribable. Don't you want just one more itty bitty little taste?

No, it wasn't for that. It was just a means to an end. She knows that.

Her screams should be enough for you. If she still loves you why hasn't she called for you? No, It's all over.

She loves me. I can't leave her.

Carslisle looked at me from across the room. I stood at the foot of the bed, battling my demons, and he was well aware of what was going on. From his pained expression I could tell that he wanted to help, but he didn't know how to give it.


"Bella is strong, she will pull through. She asked for it, she understood. She loves you," Carslisle assured me.

Oh, she asked for it. And that makes it okay? You gave in. Then you almost killed her, almost drank her dry. She needed someone to protect her, to stand up for her wellbeing. As a husband and lover should do. She didn't know what it was going to be like. Nobody can understand that pain until you've experienced it. Maybe she did love you... she doesn't anymore.

"I have to get out of here for a little bit." I told Carslisle.

"Ask Esme or Alice to come help me...uhm, clean."
I nodded and rushed from the room where my love laid screaming, even in her sleep.

______________________________

The cool wind rushed blowing against my face and tossing my hair back, playing with it. My feet crunched noisily on the rocky cliff. It's beautiful up here, I thought to myself. To the left of me the waves crashed against the side of the cliffs and the birds called to me from the sky. On the right a tall line of very green trees loomed, forbidding. I walked straight ahead, along the cliff edge following it to wherever it would take me.

The wind rushed again and moved the branches of the trees, but there was more than that moving in the trees. I stopped and peering into the trees I tried to make out anything out of place. That's when I saw them, hidden in the branches stood all of the Cullens. They were spread out sporadically, and with blank, cold faces the stared out at me. I turned away, discomforted, and sat on the edge. Rocks tumbled down into the water and I watched them splash mildly, uninterested. I closed my eyes, soaking up the sun's warm rays on my skin. Gradually it became hotter and hotter until I couldn't stand the burn. It's not even this bad in Jacksonville. My skin was turning red as I sat there. I had to get out of the sun.

I felt an undeniable pull to jump into the ocean. It would be cold and refreshing. I would feel the wind as I fell, and then land in a sea of cool, soothing waves. Pushing with my hands and feet I lunged from the edge, loving the feel of the air as I flew against it, I seemed to fall forever. I hated the ocean as soon as I touched it. It wasn't the salty sea but molten lava that I was swimming in. I had to get out. I was going to burn alive. I swam as hard as I could, but I was becoming tired quickly it was very hard to move in that thick liquid. I surrendered to the heat, letting out one final scream as it swallowed me.

________________________________________

I refused to open my eyes because I didn't want to confront the blinding rays that I could see even with my eyes closed. It was too bright. I rolled over and crossed my arms effectively forming a pillow to hide my eyes in. The ground was moving and course, the wind obnoxious. Where am I? I sat up abruptly and looked around. It was our beach, mine and Jacob's. I stood up and walked to the white fallen tree that Jacob and I had sat on countless times before everything had changed. I sat on the log remembering the day we had met here and fought about Jacob killing people as a werewolf. I remembered his beautiful smile and easy laugh, his warm hand holding mine. The motorcycles, the day we had gone looking for parts, and the day he tried to teach me to ride. I remembered my Jacob, and I missed him sorely.

I laid on the warmed wood and dozed off, listening to the sound of children playing off in the distance.

"Bella?" I opened my eyes to be confronted with a pair of well muscled legs.

"Mmm?" Why was I so tired? My body was stiff and sore, I would've been happy not to move ever again for the rest of eternity.

As it was I had a curious person that these beautiful legs belonged to who wanted my attention. I looked up, lifting my hand to shade my eyes from the sun. This man was very tall and very deliciously built but I could only make out his silhouette and a white tee shirt because the sun was pointed right behind his head and upper body.

"Hello?" I smiled.

The man bent down, his feet rolled up so that he was sitting on the pads of them, his arms balanced on his knees. I gasped.

"Jacob!" I wanted to jump up and hug him, but I didn't know how I would be received. I couldn't contain my cheesy, full-blown smile though.

"What are you doing out here, Bells?" Jacob didn't give me time to answer he just continued talking. "I haven't been out here for ages. Billy and Charlie just came home from fishing. They want to know what's for supper, but I told them it's your night to cook..." Jacob continued on with mundane, day-to-day talk, but I wasn't listening. I was watching his very animated face, his hair as it blew in the breeze and swung with his head. It was long again, a little under an inch past his shoulders. His face was tanner than what it had been before, but his face was just as angular. I watched his long-fingered, slender hands as they helped him to describe something. His expressive eyebrows and flashing smile had me laughing even though I didn't know what at. "-and then she pegged him with her soccer ball. Hit him square in the back, Mason was so mad. Bells, why are you crying?"

I touched my cheek and sure enough there were salty tears silently flowing from my eyes. I shrugged, trying to blow it off, "I missed you Jacob." I didn't go dive into it further. Jacob hadn't mentioned his leaving and I didn't want to bring it up, desperate to keep our meeting from turning sour for as long as possible.

"I always miss you when your gone, Bells, but your home now you don't have to cry. Shhh" Jacob sat down next to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulders and brushed away the tears with his thumb. "Everything will be okay, Bells. I'm here. Are you sure there's nothing else the matter?"

When I shook my head Jacob stood up and pulled me along behind him by the hand. "C'mon, if you help me skin the fish, then I'll help you cook them. Deal?"

"Deal!" I called, running to match his long stride. We ran all the way to Jacob's house, and I only stumbled once. Billy was sitting on the front porch rocking back and forth on an older wooden rocker.

"Hi, dad." Jacob called raising his hand to wave. The front door swung open and banged shut repeatedly as three little kids ran out of the house. They ran across the porch and jumped off the steps and then raced towards us. The first was tan and had her black hair up in a bouncy ponytail. She was skinny and quite tall, probably 4 years old. Jacob caught her and swung the little girl up on top of his broad shoulders.

All three of the kids were laughing. The little boy had fallen to his knees when he jumped from the porch to the ground without going down the steps. He stood up, brushing his knees off, and wiping his palms on his jeans. He wasn't quite as tall as the little girl but he was just as adorable. His hair was long and thick; a beautiful brown that glinted red in the sun. He had creamy skin similar to Bella's and big green eyes framed by dark lashes. The boy's face was just as angular as Jacob's but not as pronounced, probably because he still had the pudgy cheeks of a little kid. His thin lips were very expressive and just then they were stretched into a mischievous grin. He was going to be a heartbreaker; I had already decided I loved him. When the little boy reached me he raised his arms, asking if he could have up. I lifted him and settled him on my hip. The endearing child leaned over and gave me a kiss on the cheek that left behind a green sticky mark.

"Grandpa Billy gave us suckers. I had sour apple, Nona had cherry and Emma had grape. Then Grandpa Charlie gave us a whole bag of twizzlers and now my belly hurts."

"You should have known better, Mason. It's almost dinner time." Jacob narrowed his eyebrows slightly to show that he was upset. He was great with kids. Loving, and quietly domineering.

The last little girl, the one named Nona, was still a toddler and apparently new at walking. The sweet faced little girl had black wispy hair and green-blue eyes. She had finally arrived at my feet after waddling over the porch, sliding down the steps and then waddling across the yard. When Nona tugged on my free hand to get my attention I bent forward to talk to her.

"Mommy, guess what?" She smiled at me showing off her up and coming tooth and beautiful dimples.

"What?" I asked, surprised but unwilling to call the misinformed child out. I ran my hand over her soft hair, and smiled.

"Daddy bought me a pretty goldfish at the pet store this morning. I named him lovebug. Come see him," she said tugging on my hand. I looked down at Winnona's chubby hand wrapped around my finger. It wasn't the only thing on my finger. There was a cushion cut diamond ring with an Edwardian inspired crown basket cradled by diamond studded tulip-shaped V sides and a detailed, elegant band. It was a wedding ring. The most elegant one I had ever seen and it was sitting on my ring finger.

Mason wiggled out of my arms yelling for me to follow him as he ran into the house to show me his new goldfish. "C'mon momma, come see louie, he's faster than Nona's fishy!"

Jacob lifted Ella from his shoulders and set her on the ground so that she could follow her brother and sister into the house.

He closed the distance between us quickly and effortlessly capturing my hand and kissing my palm lightly. Jacob burst out laughing. Lifting me up he swung me around in the air, still laughing and smiling brightly. He set me down slowly my body sliding down the side of his. He wrapped his arms around me and my arms settled around his hips. His lips were warm and soft, his kiss loving. His body was too warm, but I couldn't make myself pull away. I was going to burn. Our kiss turned desperate, crushing and again tears began to roll down my cheeks. It hurts, make it stop. The heat came from my core; it felt like I was burning from the inside out. I held tightly to Jacob and shut my eyes screaming for someone to take the pain away.

"Bella, love. Can you hear me? I'm here sweetheart. It's almost over, okay? I'm so sorry. Bella?" Edward's comforting jargon drifted to me in the darkness. Where was he? I felt a cool hand cup my cheek and I was deliriously happy for the relief. Edward kept talking but I couldn't understand the words anymore. They faded away along with his cool hand and I fell into the numb darkness yet again.

_________________________________

This is my favorite spot in the world, I decided. The meadow was just as sunny and beautiful as the first day that Edward had brought me here. Sitting cross-legged in the middle of the circle of trees I watched them sway.

"There you are" Edward whispered, walking towards me from across the meadow. He wore only ripped jean shorts, his body shining brightly in the sun. As he came closer I could see the glimmering of his eyes and the streaks that tears had traced from his eyes to his jaw. As he drew near his steps faltered and he turned away. When he turned back to look at me his hand covered half of his face and silent tears spilled over his eyes again, eyes that held deep heartbreaking sadness. He shoved his hand through his hair as he dug in his pocket for something.

"No, Edward. Please. Please, don't. Don't do this to us." I was filled with inexplicable fear and foreboding.

He shook his head, "I'm sorry." He found what he had been looking for in his pocket and pulled it out. Edward stood there staring at it for a moment, he was hesitating. I couldn't protest this, I was crushed, my anger and sadness overflowing. Why was he constantly sabotaging us? Didn't we have enough fighting against us? I fell to my knees and watched broken-hearted as Edward opened the packet and broke off one of the matches. He ran it along the striker pad. He held it up to his face gazing into the flame before letting it fall to his feet. He was killing us in killing the meadow that symbolized our love. It didn't make any sense to me then, the hallucination that was really a premonition. Edward murdered us of his own free will.

The flame raced in a circle around the meadow as if following a trail of gasoline. Soon there was a ring of fire around us, coming closer and closer. The fire spread wildly racing towards us and eventually engulfing us in the flames. Flames licked up my body and smoke choked me, burning my throat. I didn't fight or protest the heat. Let it come, I thought, it didn't matter anymore.

____________________________________

I stood in a large rectangular ballroom with no lights or windows. The only light a trail of fire along the edge of the floor.

Everything was gray. The walls were a pale gray, but black on the bottom half. They looked charred from passed fires. Edward stood in front of me his head bowed. A guitar started playing a beautiful high pitched beat and soon a drum set joined and someone started singing.

Edward looked up at me. His skin sooty, his hair tumbled and his eyes red from crying.

"Last time?" He asked, his voice rough and heavy. He lifted his right hand level with his shoulder palm up and his left level with my hip. I moved in took his hand and put his other on the small of my back.

"It's not a silly little moment
It's not the storm before the calm
This is the deep and dyin breath of
this love we've been workin on
Can't seem to hold you like I want to
so I can feel you in my arms
Nobody's gonna come and save you
we pulled too many false alarms

We're goin down
and you can see it too
We're goin down
and you know that we're doomed
my dear
we're slow dancing in a burnin room

I was the one you always dreamed of
you were the one i tried to draw
how dare you say it's nothin to me
baby, you're the only light I ever saw

I make the most of all the sadness
you'll be a bitch because you can
you try to hit me just to hurt me
so you leave me feelin dirty cuz you can't understand

We're goin down
and you can see it too
We're goin down
and you know that we're doomed..."

Edward suddenly wrapped his arms around me completely pulling me against him and holding me tightly. "No," he moaned. I looked at him worriedly, trying to hold him tighter trying to comfort him... and failing. He was fading, I realized with stunning clarity. The silky granite of his skin became less and less substantial. My hands pulled flew over his body pulling at him like a child trying to build a sand castle out of uncooperative sand. Shaking my head in denial I gripped tighter, trying to hold him together, and then screaming when my hand swung through a cold mist and landed harshly against my own chest. My knees buckled and I fell to the floor shooting through a mist, like fog, that should have been his arms.

"Don't leave." I demanded sprawled untidily on the floor. "Stay, Edward," I choked. But I already knew. I had failed, somehow it hadn't been enough.

As the song drifted to a close Edward faded into nothingness, gone as if he had never been.


"-my dear
we're slow dancing in a burnin room

Go cry about it why don't you
Go cry about it why don't you
don't you think we oughta know by now
don't you think we shoulda learned somehow
don't you think we oughta know by now
don't you think we shoulda learned somehow
don't you think we oughta know by now
don't you think we shoulda learned somehow
don't you think we shoulda learned somehow
don't you think we shoulda learned somehow
don't you think we shoulda learned somehow
don't you think we shoulda learned somehow"

"He's not coming back." A voice broke through my sobs. The cold simple statement hushing me as nothing else could. I twisted on the charred wooden flooring to see a man dressed in worn dark jeans and a tight black tee-shirt. His black hair, and light growth of a dark beard that covered his cheeks, jaw, and chin, added to his sinister look. He leaned against the wall one leg bent up behind him, his foot propped up on the wall for support.

"I don't even know why he left." I whispered, hating the despair in my voice.

"You will," He responded, "someday." The mysterious man lifted his head to look at me and I recognized him immediately. It was Hymn.

His eyes weren't blue anymore they were crimson and there was a streak of dried blood trailing from the side of his mouth. He recognized what I was staring at and grinned.

"I left you some." He said as he walked passed me he pulled me up and took me along.

I gasped when I recognized the half dead man curled up against the wall. He was trembling in fear, paralyzed by it. I screamed.

"No! Damn you." I didn't feel any pain as I punched and kicked, clawed and bit, mindlessly at Hymn for killing my father.