The things that runs through Edwards mind while he watches Bella sleep.
Like always this is all Stephenie Meyers.
1. Chapter 1
Rating 5/5 Word Count 1404 Review this Chapter
“It’s undeniable how brilliant you are. In an unreliable world you shine like a star. It’s unforgettable now that we’ve come this far. It’s unmistakable that you’re undeniable.”
Mat Kearney - Undeniable
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‘This is wrong.’ I told myself, but I obviously wasn’t listening. ‘I shouldn’t be here.’
Being here in her small room, was utterly irresponsible and dangerous, not for me of course, but for Bella. For her fragile being. Her blood calls to me like no other I have ever smelt. She is absolutely intoxicating. The scent that rolls of her skin, completely clouded my mind. From the moment she stepped into that tiny classroom, and sat next to me, I was addicted. Every time she’s around me I can feel her pulsing through my veins, like a drug…I’m addicted. Even when I didn’t breathe or even when she wasn’t around, the memory of her sweet scent is left swirling around in my head as if I was still taking in her lovely aroma.
Who was this creature? I had never come across a human that I was so drawn too. That I so desperately needed. I didn’t even know her and yet she consumed my every thought. Never did I come across a human or monster alike, that I couldn’t see their thoughts. But there she rest quietly, none of her thoughts making it’s way into my mind.
I had been watching her from her window since the moment she rested her drowsy head on her pillow and closed her eyes. Hesitantly I decided to come in once she was in a deep sleep. Now I sat still on a rocking chair that was in the corner of her room. I knew it was wrong, but it was like my body was detached from my head, and it wasn’t taking anymore orders.
Her room was quite simple, with its light blue walls, pale yellow lace curtain, and wooden floors. The entire room smelt like her, it was undeniable, and I couldn‘t escape it. My throat burned, like fire. I tried to push the blazing sensation to the back of my mind, but it never faded. The temptation almost overbearing. Here alone in her room, no one would know, she simply would disappear. No one would know that I had taken her, her scent would wash away with the coming rains.
‘Stop it! No I can do this.’ Trying to be civil around her was the utter most difficult thing I have ever had to do. Trying to deny the thirst that burned for her was grueling. ‘I can do this.’
They would know. My family. They would smell her on me, smell her fresh flow of blood under my skin. They would see her blood, stained in my eyes.
‘I can do this.’
No matter how much I fought, no matter how many times I told myself that this was wrong, I knew I wouldn’t leave. How could such small insignificant being have such a hold on me? I knew this was immoral on some many levels, but I couldn’t wrench my body away from her. I wanted to know her, to see what she was thinking, to know her dreams. But no matter how hard I concentrated it didn’t help, her thoughts wouldn‘t reveal itself to me.
“Edward.” My eyes widened as she mumbled my name. I darted to the window. “Edward.” She mumbled again, this time rolling over, resituating herself.
I stopped and stared at her in disbelief. She was still sleeping. She said my name. She was dreaming of me. How I wished I could see her thoughts, to see what she thought of me. Was she afraid of me? Did she think I was horrid - as most of the students at our small high school thought? No, she must not, or she wouldn’t be sleeping so soundly. It must be a good dream…right? I was going completely out of my mind. Why can’t I hear her thoughts? I wanted to know. No, I needed to know.
She was so beautiful when she lie peacefully sleeping. Her face held so many different expressions as she’d toss and turn during the night. I loved to listen to the incoherent words that would escape between her lips. It was my only glimpse into her dreams.
Strange urges would come over me as I sat silently watching her. Every so often a pained expression would fall upon her face. I would get the sudden desire to hold her, to protect her from the things I couldn’t see. To wash away the agony that had suddenly disturbed her dreams. I just hoped that she wasn’t pained because of me. I hoped that every time she looked scared, that it wasn’t because of some nightmare, that included five pale figures looming over her. Even if she did mutter my name, that could have meant anything.
I had never once felt this way towards a human…or anyone else for that matter. I have only ever felt the need to protect my family, to ensure their safety. But I have never felt the urge to protect such a delicate human. It was a strange feeling. I wasn’t sure if was good or bad. It was entirely new to me.
I thought about her sitting next to me in biology class. Every so often she’d blush, allowing the fresh flow of blood to fill her porcelain cheeks. Then she’d flip her hair, letting the smallest breeze grab hold of her scent, sending crashing directly into me, practically knocking me off my seat. It sent me into a frenzy every time. It had undoubtedly become easier to be around her, but the blazing sensation in the pit of my stomach constantly ached for her.
I had taken more hunting trips than usual, just about every weekend. If during the week it was sunny and I couldn’t go to school, than I would go hunting again…just to be sure. If I expected to stay strong and resist when I was around her, I needed to be prepared.
Then there were those moments when she would glance up at me, our eyes would meet for the slightest second, then she’d swiftly turn away. But I would be left staring at her, eyes wide with curiosity. Wondering what was going through her mind at that very moment. The most common question that popped into my head was, ‘Is she afraid of me…of us?’ But her eyes always held something different…amusement? It aggravated me that I couldn’t see her thoughts.
I would talk to her, trying to decipher why she was the only person in all my existence that could resist my power. But the real reason I wanted to get to know her was mainly because I needed her to see, and to also reassure myself, that I wasn’t a monster. I needed to get to know some part of her, so that I had some sort of motivation not to kill her. If she looked more like a human to me, an actual person, and not food, then I knew I could stay away from her.
But now sitting in her room, alone, it wasn’t hunger that wrenched at my stomach, it was her herself. Not only was I addicted to her smell…her blood, but it was also her, who she was. She was so unpredictable. Not only because I couldn’t see her thoughts. But because if I asked her a question - I expected the same answer from her as I would get from any of the mindless sheep at school - but she never said what I thought she would. I really just simply wanted to know her. She was unlike any human I had ever come across in all my years. I was drawn to her by feelings unknown. She brought out feelings that I never even knew existed. That I have never felt before. I was so interested to know her.
I glanced at the clock beside her bed - four o’clock in the morning. Both Bella and Charlie would be getting up soon to get ready for the day. I needed to go home anyway, I also had to get ready for school.
I went to the window for my escape. My hands gripped the window, I twisted my body to take one last look at her. “Sleep well sweet Bella.” I jumped out the window, making a soundless landing, and I took off running.