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Hopeful Wishes

Summary:
Bella regrets her choice of being changed. Will this affect her love for Edward? How will Jake react? What does this mean for the people around her...


Notes:
This is my first fanfic so go easy on me!!! :S


2. Guilt

Rating 0/5   Word Count 792   Review this Chapter

“What was she doing here, and why didn’t you see her?!” I breathed heavily.

“Bella, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t looking for her.” Alice apologized.

“She lives in Florida,” I was confused, “what is she doing here?”

“You know Renee, she’s very spontaneous.” She mused.

“But what if she had seen me!!!?” I said, aggravated.

What if she had seen me? What would’ve happened? Everyone thought I was dead. She would use that active imagination and probably end up calling Charlie. She would tell him that she saw me with Alice, and make it harder for him to cope that he would never see me again. You see, when Alice and Edward were acting out my accident, Charlie had to identify my body, so there was no way I could still be alive in his mind. He would tell her she was insane, and hurt her feelings. Oh the consequences of my choices…I had hurt so many people. Maybe I was starting to feel guilty.

“Bella…don’t even…”Alice knew exactly what I was thinking.

“But…”

“You made this choice, even after some of us asked you not to. There is no way you can go back on this now.”

“Don’t make me tell Edward,” she continued, “Do you know how frustrated this will make him?”

“Alice, I can’t help how I feel.” I said sadly.

“That’s it.” She said, already dialing the number on her cell phone.

“Edward, its Alice. We have a situation.”

I could hear him babbling on the other end of the phone.

No more words were spoken, and I took this to be because of Edward’s ability to read minds.

*CLICK*

I knew that he knew. And I’m pretty sure he was on his way to take me home.

***************************

“Bella, why…?” Edward sighed for probably the fifth time in this argument.

“I told you, I don’t know. I just feel so guilty for ruining everyone’s lives.” I retaliated.

You made this choice, no one else. There’s nothing we can do about it now.” He finished quietly.

I didn’t know what to do. I walked to my room and sat down to think. I felt terrible in so many different degrees. I needed someone to talk to…

“Don’t you DARE.” Alice screamed from across the house. “Your future just went blank, and I know what you were thinking. Don’t do it.” She shouted.

Jake. That’s who I need to talk to right now. Not even in person.

No, I couldn’t. He hates me. He wouldn’t even consider talking to me. But who else was there? Everyone who was close to me was being deceived into thinking I was dead. Just so I could have my way.

No. God, I have to stop this. It is taking over my every thought.

“Edward?” I spoke softly, but I knew he would hear me.

He walked slowly into my room, eyes filled with sorrow.

“Yes, my love?”

“I’m sorry, for everything; for making you feel this way. Forgive me?” I asked sincerely.

He took my hand. He was no longer the cold, hard marble. His hands felt like silk.

“Bella Swan, I love you, no matter what.” Edward’s voice was soothing and warm.

“As do I…” I replied.

His lips met mine, but not with the usual rush and fury. It was soft and romantic, and I felt like melting. My breathing had ceased, but that was no matter. Butterflies filled my body, and his hand gripped mine tighter. It didn’t stop. I didn’t think it would. I didn’t want it to. But of course, Edward pulled away.

“Alice said you were thinking of him.” He whispered, but loud enough to hear the resentment.

“I wanted someone to talk to. I thought Jake would help.” I explained,

“Bella, I want you to talk to me…tell me about your worries, your problems. You need to trust me and be able to tell me how you feel.” He felt genuinely hurt.

“I thought you would react like Alice.”

“Bella!” Edward looked like he had just been stabbed in the chest.

“He was my best friend, Edward.” I said, waiting for the nonexistent tears to come.

“When you chose…this,” he motioned to himself in disgust, “a lot of things changed.

Your best friend is now your enemy. As much as I’m sure he still loves you, his instincts are to kill you, and there’s nothing that can be done to change that.”

I needed to get my mind off of everything.

I needed to do something to help vent my frustration.

I rose to my feet.

“Rosalie, lets go hunting.”