Changing who you are can last forever and for Bella Swan, well, she won't be the same much longer. For love, she would do anything, if it means turning in to a monster.
2. Monster Girl
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I hate packing, more for the simple fact that I never know what I’m going to need or not need and I always tend to either over pack or not pack enough. I should probably just let Alice do it for me but then again she’ll just buy me an entire new wardrobe, plus lingerie that I probably won’t ever need. At just that moment I can feel eyes on the back of my head. Spinning around Alice is right behind me, any closer and I would have knocked her small figure over.
“Thought maybe you might need some help packing, I was right.” She smiled up at me as she began to fold shirts, sweaters and pants and placing them all into my small suitcase.
“This suitcase just won’t do. I’ll be back.” And she was gone, but only for about point-five seconds, a huge suitcase laying in her outstretched arms.
Within minutes my new and hugely improved suitcase was packed with everything that I owned and some things that I hadn’t owned. A small piece of fabric lay on the very top of my sweaters, it was see-through and lacey and now my stomach was doing flips.
Did Alice honestly think I was going to feel even the slightest bit sexy after being changed into a ravenous and lethal vampire? Please, I hardly felt sexy now and I really don’t think I’m the lingerie type.
“You might as well take that thing out of my suitcase because I’m not going to be wearing it any time soon, if ever.” I stated mater of factly, my arms crossed over my chest.
“So you think…” She just smiled up at me and taped the right side of her head with one finger; I hate it when she does that.
“Alice, please. I highly doubt Edward is going to want to even touch me the first week after he changes me.” I felt myself shudder at the thought, because I know deep down inside that what I was saying was probably true.
“I will love you no matter what Bells.” I jump at the sound behind me and at the pair of hands that have now snaked their way around my waste, squeezing gently.
Edward didn’t say anything, but only smiled sheepishly as he spied the lingerie sitting at the very top of my suitcase. Picking it up he studied it at arm’s length, holding it in front of me, assessing whether it would look good on me or not. I guess he liked what he saw because he smiled softly and set the skimpy outfit down on top of the rest of my clothes.
“I know Alice; we do need to get going soon.” Edward replied to his sister’s silent comments without taking eyes away from mine.
All of a sudden my knees feel like jelly and I’m fighting back tears. No matter what I tell myself I will never truly be ready for the moment that is to come in just a matter of hours. I would do anything for Edward, he knows that, but I can’t help but be afraid of what I’m going to turn in to, a blood-thirsty and very lethal monster. I mean I’m already weird being a normal human, who knows how I’ll turn out once I’m turned. I could be just like Victoria or even worse. I could end up like Jane.
“Bella? What’s wrong?” I can hear Edward’s voice, but the words are just garbled and I can’t focus on his face even though I’m looking right at him.
“I think she’s gone into shock.” I finally focus myself on Alice’s tiny face in front of mine, her eyes filled with concern as she stares at me.
“I’m fine, just thinking.” I say innocently as I walk quickly over to the glass wall and stare out at the setting sun behind the tree line.
“What I wouldn’t give to be inside of that head of yours.” Edward says playfully, his arms wrapping themselves around my waist once again, his chin resting atop my head.
“We should be going, I’ll get Jasper and we’ll meet you in the car.” Alice smiled at the both of us as she picked up my suitcase and carried it out of the room.
“You don’t have to do this Bella; I love you just the way you are.” My stomach sank as I spun and stared up into Edward’s perfect topaz eyes; not this again.
“I’m doing this. I can’t stand being so inadequate when compared to you and I’m not going to die at the hands of the Volturi or any crazed vampire that wants to kill me this month. I’m done and that’s done with a D. Change me or I’ll have Alice do it.” I was holding my own in this conversation and man was I loving it.
“I just think you should wait, go explore the world and try some new things. I can protect you from harm and I think I’ve done a pretty good job of doing so thus far.” He too was holding his own, but it was the same song and dance as before, ”Go to college…blah, blah, blah.” and I’m really getting tired of it.
“Yeah, I know . Okay? I know Edward.” I was so exhausted all I could do was sigh and head for the door.
In a matter of seconds his arms were around my waist and he was pulling me toward the couch and putting up a fight would be pointless. I felt a pair of hands cup my face, gently as to not squish my head in to a jelly pancake and then the tears started to roll. Cradling me like a baby was something Edward did well and at that moment he was doing a damn fine job. I can’t help but to always feel vulnerable while I’m in his arms and I guess it’s because that’s how he sees me; vulnerable and breakable. Well not anymore.
“Look, I’m sorry, I’m just a little nervous. I don’t want to kill you or anything.” He laughed as he said, but I knew Edward was all business and I knew he really was worried.
“I trust you and Alice would of said something if it were going to go wrong. Please Edward, please let me be a part of your world…” I kissed him then, gently, but there was still power behind it and this time I was the one to break away first.
“Let’s go then monster girl.” He laughed as he pulled me up from the couch and led the way to the door.
And that’s what I would be in just a matter of hours; a real monster.