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Forever Changed

Summary:
Changing who you are can last forever and for Bella Swan, well, she won't be the same much longer. For love, she would do anything, if it means turning in to a monster.


Notes:


3. Ready, Set, Go!

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1594   Review this Chapter

“Get out of the car Bella…” His velvet voice says from the other side of my window and all I can do is cringe; the time has come and we have arrived at the cabin.

“Just give me a minute.” I say meekly, glancing up at his perfect face through the fogged over window.

“I’ll take you back home…” His voice is sad and as I look up I see that he’s moving back towards the driver’s side door.

I push my door open and sprint over towards Edward, throwing my arms around his neck as I slam into him and feel my breath come out in a big whoosh. He catches me, that crooked smile coming to his face as he smiles down at me. Kissing the tip of my nose softly, Edward leads me towards the small cabin where Alice and Jasper are waiting.

“I’m glad you changed your mind. I was going to be very disappointed if I didn’t get to see you in that little number Alice had purchased…” He grins down at me as his hand slips from my waist and rests itself just above my right hip. I’m sure the look on my face is priceless as we walk up the cabin steps and make our way into the house.

“We ready to do this?” I hear Alice ask from somewhere in the house and then I notice the chains hanging down from the ceiling.

They’re pretty thick as far as I can see and they seem to be hanging around the only chair in the room, which is in itself bolted to the floor with thick steel screws. I feel my stomach turning unsteadily as I glance towards the middle of the room unwarily. The entire drive up here thoughts raced through my head and they were of the mixed persuasion.

Do I really want this? Am I ready to give up the only world I’ve ever known, for one that I’ve only had a brief taste of and every single time it’s because someone is trying to kill me? Will Edward still want me after I’m different, after I smell different and look different? After my heart, the one that he loves so much, stops beating? Do I want to take the chance of dying should he not be able to stop?

Yes; hell yes.

“Here, change into this.” Suddenly Alice is right in front of me, what looks to be white cloth in her outstretched hands.

“Uh…” All I can do is just take the cloth from her and walk over to what I’m guessing is the bathroom, but I was horribly wrong.

The room I accidentally walk in to is where Jasper has been hiding and he’s in a cage. The door isn’t shut and it looks like he’s trying to fit it because the hinges seem to be rusted in to place. The bars are thick, almost as thick as tree trunks; they reach from floor to ceiling and seem to be somewhat chipped and scarred. There’s also a small mattress laying on the floor at Jaspers feet, a pillow and thick blanket lay at the far corner nearest the wall.

“Please tell me that’s not my bed…” I say quietly as Jasper looks up at me with kind eyes, I suddenly feel calm.

“No, it’s mine.” He says simply, smiling softly as he goes back to trying to work the hinges over.

“I don’t trust myself around you while you’re turning. The pull to your blood is going to be even stronger than it is now because it’s going to be trying to fight the venom in your veins. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if I hurt you, sister.” He looks up at me on the last word and I feel tears brimming in my eyes.

Oh Jasper…” I can’t help myself and the next thing I know my arms are tight around his stone waist and I can tell he stopped breathing.

“Go change Bella.” His voice is strained, but there’s a kindness behind it as I let go and walk back out into the hall.

I finally find my way to the small bathroom and begin to change into what I now realize is a thick flannel nightgown. It makes sense, I would probably rip my own clothes to shreds during my transformation and even though it really wouldn’t matter because Alice would just buy me new ones, and the thought was nice. Plus now that I have it on, I realize how warm I am and then I realize even further that this is the last time I’m going to be warm ever again.

“I’m ready.” I say loudly as I walk back into the main room and see Edward and Alice conversing softly. They both look at me and smile and I feel even more at ease than I was around Jasper.

“I’ll go tell Jasper.” Alice says simply and I look after as she walks into the back room and then come to face Edward.

“Jasper’s going to be in the cage, but he’s also going to be helping me keep control. The less blood in your system the better the transformation is going to be; less painful.” Edward says simply as rubs the back of his hand across my cheek.

“What about Alice?” I ask as I gaze up at him, for maybe the last time in my human life. I want to memorize every part of his being, the way his eyes seem to brighten whenever he looks at me, the way his hair sticks up in the front and that smile; my smile.

“She’ll be with Jasper, helping him to keep control. Once I feed off of you I’ll have to leave, but only for a time.” He says softly and there’s a great sadness to his voice as his words sink into my mind.

I understand why he has to leave; he doesn’t want to finish me off with so much of my blood out in the open. Jasper won’t be a problem because he’ll be behind reinforced steel and Alice can just stop breathing while she’s helping me, but Edward. I know that after he’s tasted the one thing he’s wanted since we met, he won’t be in control and he’ll have to leave.

“I know Bella, it breaks my heart that I have to leave you when you’re going to be in so much pain. But I’ll be back as soon as I’ve hunted and fed enough to get your blood out of my system.” He says sadly and I can hear the regret in his voice.

“I understand Edward. I’m going to be so out of it anyways I won’t even notice. Just get back when you can and that’s all that matters.” I smile up at him as I stand on my tiptoes to touch my lips with his.

He’s actually surprised by the kiss at first, but then I feel his hard hands come to rest on either side of my face. This kiss is different than the ones we’ve shared before, there’s more neediness behind it, like he’s kissing the real Bella away and preparing for the monster to come out; he’s kissing me as if I was dying.

“I love you…” He whispers, breaking our kiss slowly as his chin comes to rest a top my head.

“I love you.” I smile softly as my arms wrap themselves around his waist tightly.

“Well, where do you want me?” I ask playfully gesturing around the room and laughing at the lack of comfortable furniture.

“Over here…” He smiles down at me and leads me to the far corner of the room. There’s a few pillows that have been set there, I’m guessing more for my comfort than anyone else’s and as I finally get settled, my stomach fills with butterflies.

“This is going to hurt Bells…a lot. But I love you, remember that.” Those are the last words I remembering hearing from him and then the pain came washing over me like a great wave of fire.

It starts at my neck, this horrible burning pain and it continues for what seems like hours, but I know it’s not that long. I try to think back to happier times, with Edward and even Jacob, but those are only faded memories as the reality of what’s happening pushes the memories to the back of my mind. I’m dying, or at least I wish I was because nothing is worth this pain. Except him.

“Bella? Bella can you hear me?” I can hear him, but the pain is so great I’m having a hard time focusing on his words.

“Bella I love you so much, everything is going to be okay.” For a brief moment I feel a cool bit of relief touch my forehead, like someone has dropped an ice cube right there, but then suddenly it’s gone and I’m moving.

“It’s okay Bella, you’re okay.” I hear the softest voice and I know it’s Alice, but I can also hear fierce snarling in the background as well.

“I love you Bella.” I feel her strong arms wrap around my neck as she sits me in the chair and chains me down.

And then I’m falling, hard and fast and I don’t know where I’m going to land. My guess is, I’m probably going to wind up landing in hell.