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The Falling

Summary:
In the action itself, she is weightless and free. The flight is not to be feared, only the impact. A story on the life of Esme Cullen. Image Hosted by ImageShack.us Banner By incredible Iris!

Notes:
I may submit this to the official site. What do you think?

53. Chapter 53

Rating 5/5   Word Count 548   Review this Chapter

When you fall and close your eyes,

I love him. And this life I’m living now is all I’ve ever wanted. I would be perfectly happy to live forever like this, eternity so sweet and dear to me.

We do not have children yet. I know we will, though, someday soon. It simply hasn’t happened yet, in our four years married. It’s a matter of waiting. My mother is quite concerned- she wants grandchildren. But I no longer care what she thinks.

What I want, what I do, I do because I want it, and not because she does. And thus, I am happy.

For once, I’ve managed to wake earlier than he did. Although he isn’t in our bed- he was called away for an emergency procedure in the middle of the night- I assume he’s still sleeping that off. So, today, I am alone in my musings.

If he does what he usually would, I won’t see him until about noon, since on house calls like this he doesn’t take payment. The grateful housewives insist on stuffing him with all sorts of food, and then he doesn’t eat for the remainder of the day.

Thus I’m cooking for myself alone.

I’ve tried, sometimes, to imagine what would have happened if he hadn’t changed his mind. I remember how we met at the hospital, and how I almost, almost lost him.

It is a miserable thing, almost morbid with how horrible it is to envision a life without him. I would be so empty, without any reason to live

I used to think such romantic ideas were silly, a girl’s fancy. Now I know how it is to have found the person who makes you all you can be. That is what he is to me, a true other half.

I would be just a shadow of a person without him here with me. I would never have married, that much is certain- no one else could compare to him. I may have ended up teaching, out West, and that wouldn’t have been too terrible- but it wouldn’t have been a life, merely an existence.

I need him to live as I can.

He reassures me every day that he couldn’t have done it any other way, that he could no more have lived without me than I without him. Yet I knew, no matter what he swore, that he had come close- very close- to doing what he thought was right.

He is not a person of society. He has his odd habits- how rarely he ate, that I’d never seen him sleep, the short trips he would take, that he never looked even a day older- but none of that changes how I love him.

And though we are married, he still has not told me the secret. The truth. Why he is like this, why he doesn’t think I am safe near him. And I so want to know… but he is allowed his privacy.

There is something amiss, something about him that was not like other men, but then again I didn’t love other men.

I love Carlisle.

You cannot see the danger behind,