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WARNING: This has some pretty R-rated things (and not R for Revenge, R for...whatever it means!) in it, so if under the age of 14, I strongly advise that you don't read this. BEHOLD! The day of Jacob's imprint! But on who? *dun dun dunnnnnn* Note: I gave you fair warning. I don't want any flaming about perversion, or such. It's just a story I did one night because my friend dared me to. And it was so hilarious I decided to put it on here. FAIR WARNING HAS BEEN GIVEN! READ AT YOUR OWN CAUTION! *And yes, I know that by saying not to read it I will have created a reverse-psychology thing (which I learned about in Captain Underpants - one of the all time best mini-series ever!). Too bad.


1. Chapter 1

Rating 4/5   Word Count 531   Review this Chapter

It all started one day –the unexplained paranoia, I mean- when Edward drove Bella to the treaty line between Werewolf and Vampire territory. She was just going to make a visit with her best friend, Jacob, for the day while Edward went out to hunt with his family.

Edward’s Volvo came to a halt at the invisible boundary line, and he and Bella waited patiently for Jacob to pull up in the Rabbit. A usual conversation went on inside the Volvo, which began with Edward stating what time he would be there to pick her up.

“I’ll meet you here at seven-thirty, as usual.” His dark eyes examined Bella’s face quickly.

“Okay,” she replied simply.

“What are you planning on doing today?” He asked conversationally.

“Jacob said there’s a surprise birthday party for Sam, and we’re making a cake with Emily. The party’s supposed to start at three.” She explained. The clock on the dashboard read noon.

Edward nodded his head just as the Rabbit screeched to a halt a few yards away. This time, Edward got out along with Bella and met Jacob at the invisible line. Jacob’s eyes rested on Bella, but when he finally acknowledged Edward’s presence, he was taken aback.

Neither Edward nor Jacob said anything, but stared at each other with wide eyes, as if they’d never seen the other before. An unexplained phenomenon occurred then, which will be identified in a short while.

More like now. The phenomenon that occurred usually only happened between werewolves and humans, and sometimes other werewolves. But never anything like this. I’m sure you’ve all caught on by now…no? What, do I have to spell it out?

Jacob imprinted. On Edward. *EVERYONE GASPS IN SHOCK* Yes, I know -shocking. You never thought it could happen, could you? They’d been around each other on several occasions, so why was this happening now? No one knows.

The strange thing was, Edward felt a strange feeling that was new to him. He had the strangest urge to become….gay. Suddenly, he wanted to engage in hot butt-sex with Jacob Black. Not to mention he wanted to engage in hot butt-sex with a werewolf.

Jacob realized what had happened then, and it appeared in his thoughts. Edward stood just behind Bella, so he could mouth a reply to Jacob’s thoughts.

“I know,” he mouthed.

Meet me at the place where your military brother prepared us for the battle,” And Edward knew that Jacob meant the clearing.

“Midnight,” Edward mouthed back.

Bella looked over her shoulder at Edward with a puzzled expression on her face. Edward smiled lightly and bent down to kiss Bella on the forehead. Jacob felt the urge to growl, but didn’t give into it.

Edward turned and escaped to his car, and sped away as Bella greeted Jacob and they got into his car. Jacob said nothing as they sped in the opposite direction towards Emily’s house to make Sam’s birthday cake.

The rest of the day, Jacob could do nothing but think about the idea of him and Edward engaging in hot butt-sex.