Alice buys a bunny. It is spoiled ROTTEN. It even has clothes....
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"Isn't he cute?!" I demanded at Jasper's exasperated face. Men. They just don't understand our feminine desires.
I carefully held up my new black and white bunny.
"Guess what I named him!" I squealed, staring into the bunny's soft brown eyes.
"I don't know," Jasper said patiently and I scowled, "What did you name him, Alice?"
"BUFFY!" I yelled, unable to contain my excitement.
Emmett roared with laughter and he crashed into the wall before he knew what hit him.
"That's an excellent name," Jasper said, hands held politely behind his back as he bent forward to peer at my baby, Emmett fuming behind him.
"Isn't it?" I beamed.
"It's the stupidest name I've ever ---" Emmett was getting to his feet and was knocked into the opposite wall. God bless, Jasper.
"Buffy, the vampire slayer bunny!" I said ignoring Emmett's drastic change of position. I raised the hand holding the bunny high. Buffy perched above my head, eyes wide.
Emmett remained quiet. Smart boy.
"I even bought him clothes!" I examined the little cape that I had had custom made for Buffy.
"How the---" Emmett was knocked into the opposite wall . . . again; but this time it didn't stop him, "Heck did you find bunny clothes?"
"Custom made," I replied nonchalantly as I tied the cape around the bunny's neck.
Paris Hilton had clothes for HER little rat dog. Why should mine be any different? I adjusted the cape so it framed the bunny's body and accented his eyes. So beautiful.
I had some Prada for Buffy. It was a cute tote that I would carry for him, but it kept all his things. OH! I should put a little playboy bunny on his bunny mansion. It would be so CUTE!!!!!
I twirled one of Buffy's ears as I planned and Jasper watched on with sympathy. Emmett stared rudely.
Suddenly, Buffy yawned very wide, his pink little bunny tongue flattening out and curling up in his mouth.
"Your wittle bunny wunny teef wook SO shawp wittle Buffy!" I squeed to him.
Emmett's mouth dropped open and a look of disgust planted itself on his face.
"You must be so tired wittle Buffy wuffy." I cooed, going up the stairs.
In the background I heard Jasoer mutter, "Women."
"We're going hunting," I announced later that day; Buffy was taking a nap in his down feather bed and we had enough time to grab a snack before he woke up.
"Don't you DARE wake up BUFFY," I threatened Emmett darkly.
"I'm not gonna bother your stupid bunny," Emmett replied.
"Why aren't you coming? Your eyes are black," Jasper observed.
"High score," Emmett muttered and I tried to comprehend his fragmented, monotone sentences, "Must beat."
Emmett's right eye twitched as he stared wide eyed at the plasma screen, fingers blurring over the controler.
I shrugged at Jasper and we made our way out the door.
We caught some weak deer, but I didn't dare venture to far from my precious pet.
Suddenly a vision flashed in front of my eyes.
I snarled so loudly that birds flew from the trees and I barely saw Jasper look up before I was running.
"Get off Buffy!" I screamed at Emmett, who was sucking at little Buffy's neck.
"NO! BUFFY!" I sobbed as the little bunny twitched. Then was still.
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