Abandonment

I tried to talk him out of it. He refused to listen. Stupid. Leaving Bella had to be one of the stupidest, idiotic things he’d ever done. There were quite a few, more than you would expect from someone as perfect to a human as Edward Cullen.

He sat now on a couch in one of our homes in Alaska, sobbing tearlessly. No one knew what to do – he refused to listen to anyone, preferring to mope. I knew what he needed – Bella – but I couldn’t tell him that. He wanted to think that he was protecting her. I suppose he was in a way. But he was hurting her more than protecting her. I don’t know if he understood that. He had come in the door, in emotional agony, and when I’d glanced at Jasper, he’d let cheeriness and tranquility flood the room. I think if Edward would have been able to, he would have cried and cried and cried, real tears.

There had been nothing Carlisle and the others and I could to do persuade him not to leave Bella. We all knew how much he loved her – we’d seen the changes in him, once he’d started to stay with her overnight – but we also knew how much he wanted to protect her, and save her from what we are. I tried to tell him that Bella was fine – sure, there were some close calls, but we would always take care of her. He didn’t listen, and then he left.

His abandonment of Bella had him sitting here on a couch, crying tearlessly. I could only imagine how Bella felt. I almost wished Edward had never met Bella. Maybe it would have been better for both of them that way. But I suppose people say, “It’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all” for a reason. Or maybe they just say that to make the ones who lost feel better.

Edward finally stopped shaking from sobs. This was almost worse, in a way, because despite Jasper flooding the room with emotion, I could still tell that Edward felt like he was dying inside.

He looked up at me and asked, “What have I done, Alice?”

I didn’t know what to tell him.

“Don’t worry about it,” I finally said. “She’ll be alright.”

I knew he shouldn’t have left her, however, but I wanted to put his mind at ease. That was impossible, unfortunately.

“She believed me so easily, Alice.”

I didn’t say anything, just sat down next to him.

“She believed me so easily when I told her I didn’t love her. I cannot believe it. How could she believe me that easily? How could I have done that to her?” He sat there, shell-shocked.

Again, I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what to tell him. I don’t think there were words. “

Alice,” he finally managed. “I think I may have just made the biggest mistake of my life.”