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What does Bella do in desperation as Edward goes to hunt? SubstituteBanner.jpg

I thought this was fun! What do ya think?

1. Substitute

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 779   Review this Chapter

I was lying on my stomach on my quilted bed, my bare feet locked and bent over my back in the air, giving me the appearance of a scorpion. I was reading to pass the time it would take for Edward to get back from hunting.

I heard my window creak.

"Go away," I growled and ripped my eyes away from the book to glare at Emmett. I had to admit I was pouting because of Edward's absence.

He smirked. "Edward told me to make sure you don't die while he's hunting."

"Please, be blunter Emmett. Really, you're too caring about my delicate feelings."

"Sorry," He chuckled, sitting on the edge of my window sill. His huge mass squeaked against the sides of my window much like rock on very dry wood would.

I wiggled my toes, flopping my legs up and down, up and down.

"Why are you reading that?" Emmett asked suspiciously, reading the title of the book.

"You can read?!" I asked with mock surprise, staring admiringly at him.

He growled, lifting his lips up, but I could tell by the glint in his eyes it was play.

I decided to play along and amuse him.

"I'm gonna spray holy water at you," I threatened him, motioning to the spray bottle I used to wet my hair.

Emmett threw his head back and laughed loudly.

I pretended to scowl, flipping the page in my book and ignoring him.

"Come on," Emmett whined, "Let's do something fun."

"Let's play tag," I suggested in a mono-tone voice, not looking up from my book.

"OKAY!" Emmett roared, jumping up.

"One, two, three -- NOT IT!"

"Oh, darn, I guess I'm it." I muttered but there was a gust of wind and Emmett was gone.

I smiled and spent the rest of the hour relaxing.

At two o' clock in the afternoon a knock on the window sill broke me from my trance.

"Go away." I muttered for what seemed like the four hundredth time today. To my surprise, no voice denied me and I seized my chance.

"HOLY WATER!" I shouted, blindly grabbing the spray bottle and dousing the vampire with the foggy mist.

I looked up eagerly, hoping to see Emmett's hilarious expression, but instead saw a thoroughly wet, and utterly bewildered, Edward.


Edward's eyes were wide, like he didn't know what to expect now.

"Sorry," I said, wishing I had a good explanation.

We just stared at each other.

Then something caught Edward's eye and he hopped into my room, striding gracefully to my bed to pick up the book I had been reading.

"Honestly, Bella," He chuckled, holding up my pathetic excuse for entertainment.

"I missed you."

"I'll say," He smiled and I ran to him, ripping the book out of his hands and tossing it on the bed so he could gather me up and inhale the scent of my hair.

Beside us, on the bed, lay the neglected book I had been pouring over all afternoon. . . Dracula.


I was in the middle of Canada, wondering if Bella would be able to find me.

She probably can't run that fast.

Now I wondered what to do until she could drive her lazy butt up here.

I could eat a walrus....I'd never tried a walrus before.

So I set off, running full speed until I was on the icy edge of the continent.

There was a huge herd of them. Walruses were weird, they just sat there and looked at me, not even trying to run . . . or since I guess they couldn't run, roll.

I took the fastest one and played catch with myself for awhile, then bent down to feed.

The blood didn't even run down my throat, it was filled with blubber.

I started choking, and then I realized I didn't need to breathe. Why did I always forget?

I shrugged and let go of the wailing walrus, and it gave me a dirty look before it dropped onto it's back, writhing in pain.

I looked at the walrus and wondered if they could have seizures.

I shrugged, not really caring and started towards home.

Three days later, Edward was yelling and it sounded like I was in trouble.

I stomped down the stairs.

"WHAT?" I whined as Edward growled at me.

"YOU. BIT. A. WALRUS?!?!!?!?!!??!?!" Edward shouted, and I nodded.

"Yeah, then I started choking on the blubber and then I remembered I didn't need to breathe . . ."

I chocked off when I saw Rosalie's furious face.


I looked back to Edward's but he, also, was livid.


He waved the newspaper in my face with the headline

Killer Walrus of Canada

I didn't know which one I wanted to face first, my furious wife or my irate brother.