A New Me
THIRD IN THE FATE'S COURSE SERIES! A new life,
A new death,
and then . . .
A new me. I couldn't remember anything except Jane was wonderful and I was a vampire.
Lizzie's memory is wiped, and Jane tells her she used to have a family, but they are now dead.
Something in Lizzie's mind tugs as she rediscovers her powers, causing her hair to flair white. Jane is hiding something from her, and whenever Cne is around, something happens to her...
As Lizzie tries to discover what they're hiding, and what more, who her old self is, she also uncovers the love for her now dead family, and how honest and caring Jane REALLY is.
Rating 5/5 Word Count 1564 Review this Chapter
A light knock was heard on my door.
I ignored it, and Cne entered.
I felt a strange sense of deja vu, but I ignored it like I always did.
I didn't know how much time had passed.
I didn't know anything.
It was horribly challenging to have a conversation with me.
So she always just sat there, pretending to read while she erased my memories.
Because I pretended to not know... just as they planned.
One day, I had been sitting in my room, Demetri stationed outside my door as usual, while I enjoyed a small memory. They would come bit by bit, and the entire day I replayed it in my head, making it strong enough to resist.
Cne was young, her powers weak.
There were some things she couldn't remove.
Like building muscle, each day the little memories would get stronger as I replayed them in my head. Sometimes, new ones would surface, and I would smile.
Like with the one I had just discovered now.
"Wait, Edward." He turned and looked at me. I tried to only lock my mind, then asked, Can you hear me?
He sat there looking expectantly at me. As the seconds ticked by, he became confused, and gasped.
Was he a mind-reader? Could I block my mind?
I looked down on the book on my lap, pondering this.
I knew Demetri could track my mind.
So what if . . .?
I stared hard at the book, and smiled when I heard Demetri stop breathing.
He burst through the door and stopped when he saw me delving intently into the book.
He smiled slightly.
"Are you okay?"
"Shh! I want to find out what happens!" I flapped a hand at him to quiet him. He smiled sadly back at me and I knew why. I had read this book every day for as long as I'd been here. I had to, to keep my cover.
"Alright," He said softly, and closed the door gently. I wanted to cry over his concern. Demetri was the only one I felt a fondness for. It seemed he had been forced into this job as much as I had, but it had been more of a private black-mail instead of the flat out prisoner I was. For some odd reason, I had a feeling he wouldn't tell Jane about my mind disappearing.
The days passed, but Cne's power was growing stronger and reading The Da Vinci Code over and over again wasn't seeming like such a burden anymore.
Once I realized this frightening fact, I started fighting harder than ever.
I was fighting feeding to the point Felix would have to make the blood flow by cutting the victim in order for me to succumb to my thirst, and I wanted to burn my book, I had read it so many times.
Then the day came when I could recite the whole book in my head and I searched for another book. I had randomly stopped breathing every once in awhile in my room weeks before and my mind was always blocked so this wasn't out the norm for Demetri. So he didn't respond anymore.
This is what I'd been hoping for. I turned invisible after not breathing for a half an hour and I passed through my wall in search of a new book.
I passed by a library, which I didn't know they had, and entered the door.
I skimmed the shelves, not sure what kind of book I was looking for.
I picked up Wuthering Heights, and some Jane Austen novels, placing The Da Vinci Code where I had removed my new books.
Excited about my outing, I returned in high spirits to my room, and settled down to start on Wuthering Heights.
I was proud of my rebellion, but I couldn't spend too much time dwelling on it.
I could read at high speeds, but I decided on human pace through Wuthering Heights.
There was also the fact that even though I was a vampire, I had no memory, and therefore understanding Wuthering Heights was hard for me (to my delight) because I hadn't had a chance to learn anything at a vampire's rate because I was locked in this room and had never had the opportunity.
I flipped the page and furrowed my brow and concentrated on untangling the deepest meanings of the words in every sentence.
I didn't notice Jane's entrance.
"Reading something new are we?"
I realized my mistake at once. I had left my old book in the library. To prove my point, Jane held up The Da Vinci Code and said softly, "Aren't you curious to know how this ends?"
She tossed the book so it landed at my feet as a badly shaken Cne entered the room.
"Look Cne," Jane said conversationally, "Lizzie is reading a new book. She remembered the ending to the old one."
Her calm and cool voice suddenly burst.
"HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO USE HER IF YOU CAN'T MAKE HER FORGET?! NOW SHE IS NOTHING BUT A THREAT TO US!"
Everyone cringed away, and she roared.
She sat silent, as minutes ticked by, massaging her head in her hands.
"You will erase her thoughts for TEN hours. Be thorough, because if you aren't, you are no longer a use to me." She strode towards the door but stopped where Cne was.
She whispered in her ear even though she knew perfectly well I'd hear, "But leave the memory where she fought her entire family, and how she was the cause of their deaths," Her hiss turned into a soft laugh and I struggled not to show emotion, "She needs to be reminded of what I made her to do. Kill."
She left without another word, and Cne stood over me for ten hours, wiping me blank and uprooting every little memory I had worked so hard to save.
But she left me a new one, that was burned into the back of my eyes; that would keep me pacing many nights to come as the moon rise and fell with my footfalls.
It was worse than I could've imagined.
It wasn't my memory, but memories of the people I had hurt.
Memories of when I had hurt them, even though they loved me. . .
Memories that proved I was more a monster than Jane or any other vampire will ever be.
Memories of how I ignored pleas, and most of all . . . love.
I watched Lizzie strain on the ground and projected those images from my mind.
They had to be coming, just as I'd planned.
We ran into the baseball field, but it was deserted.
The only reason I didn't know someone was going to attack from behind, is because I couldn't hear their mind.
Lizzie bared her teeth, and made me appear and disappear so fast I went flying.
I crashed into a tree at the other side of the field, but I slumped, instead of getting up.
I couldn't move.
Her red eyes turned to me next.
The only thing that gave me hope, is that her eyes still had gold.
"Lizzie," I whispered before I was too thrown through the air.
I was still as I landed.
There was no play this time.
There was no match.
She had beaten me as a human and she was still transforming.
Despite the pain she was being eaten by, or maybe because of it, we were all taken down.
I didn't see what she did to Esme and I could at least be thankful of that.
Lizzie took out the whole family.
Maybe it was the pain of the transformation.
Whatever it was, it made me so happy.
One by one they fell, none of them even trying to fight.
But still, she was merciless.
The last Cullen to fall, was Lizzie Cullen herself.
She fell because of the pain, true, but it wasn't just her body falling.
Her mind was wiped clean and she was no longer Lizzie Cullen.
That person was gone.
The only thing that kept me sane after that memory; kept me sane as I watched the only memory I knew play in my mind over and over again, was the fact that Jane was wrong.
I wasn't gone.
And I wasn't planning on falling anytime soon, like I had caused my family to.
But also the thing that hurt worse, is that my family was dead, and even as they watched me take them out one by one, they loved me till the very end.
So I had to wonder, what was the old me like? And why had I killed my family?
And how impossibly enough, could killing my family have brought out the good in me?
I didn't know what to do now, but hope that Jane's mistake of letting me have this one last memory would help other ones grow, and fight their way through the shield Cne placed on me.
Because until then, even though I could, I have no reason to leave this place, I have nowhere to go to, and I have nobody to love.
I'm going to do this right.
I'm going to stop living in this stupid room day by day, for the rest of existence.
Jane can torture me. I'm more powerful than her, it doesn't really matter.
I'm going to MAKE her send me places.
I'm going to do my job.
I'm going to kill.
And, most of all, I'm going to find myself . . . the new me.
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