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Memories & Feelings

Summary:
Ok… I know that there are a lot of other songfics like this, but the songs I use here are ones that I don’t see used a lot. I will also include links to the songs for each chapter. I don’t know about you, but I always like to hear what the author is referring to when they talk about a song, it really helps me get into the story! Thanks to Day for helping me with this story!! ;) Chapter 3: Separation (Bella & Edward POV) is out!!please tell me what you think of this... I'm not posting anymore until I get some rewiews!! :(


Notes:
Please go easy on me... this is my first time doing something like this! :S


4. Adreanaline

Rating 0/5   Word Count 811   Review this Chapter

I still have no idea how long it has been since he left, but this pain is still as fresh as the day he walked away.

Lithium, don't want to lock me up inside.
Lithium, don't want to forget how it feels without...
Lithium, I want to stay in love with my sorrow.
Oh, but God, I want to let it go.

The hole in my chest burns every time I think of them… of him, but as much as it hurts. I don’t ever want to forget. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to let him go either.

Come to bed, don't make me sleep alone.
Couldn't hide the emptiness, you let it show.
Never wanted it to be so cold.
Just didn't drink enough to say you love me
.

If I could just be in those cold arms again, holding me while I sleep, then maybe these nightmares would stop and I could get a decent night sleep! If you ever came back, I would give myself to you… body and soul. Drink my blood, because I know how it calls to you; and if you take my life, that’s fine. I don’t have much of a life without you anyways.

I can't hold on to me,
Wonder what's wrong with me.

Holding myself together whenever I think about you doesn’t seem to be working anymore, I still feel like I’m falling apart. Maybe something is wrong with me… the ‘Danger Magnet’ as you always said. I know you left to keep me safe, but now I need you more than ever. Sure Jake and the rest of the pack are doing their best to take care of Victoria, but it’s not the same. The only way that I’d feel safe is knowing that you are here with me.

Lithium, don't want to lock me up inside.
Lithium, don't want to forget how it feels without...
Lithium, I want to stay in love with my sorrow.

I don’t want to forget you Edward. I just wish I knew how to make you come back, and keep you here. For now, this pain is all I feel. Although I’m sure Charlie is glad I’m not in ‘zombie’ mode anymore. I’m a complete reject at school again, just like my first day here. The only thing that is missing is you… and I’d give anything to have that back!

Don't want to let it lay me down this time.
Drown my will to fly.
Here in the darkness I know myself.
Can't break free until I let it go.
Let me go.

All that talk of them today with Jake really cost me. This pain is worse than ever, and I’m gonna do the one thing that makes me feel whole, for a little while at least; be reckless… whenever I do my delusions of him always come back to me. It makes me believe that somewhere on this earth my angel still cares about me. That’s why I’m standing on this cliff, waiting to hear my love’s beautiful voice once again.

Darling, I forgive you after all.
Anything is better than to be alone.
And in the end I guess I had to fall.
Always find my place among the ashes.

“Don’t do this” he pleaded; the sound of his velvet voice made the pain bearable. ‘You wanted me to be human… well watch me’ I thought as I sprang off the cliff. As I fell I began to think of Edward again. ‘I’ve already forgiven you for leaving…it never did make sense for you to love me. You are so perfect, and a mere human like me doesn’t deserve your love. I guess I was a fool to think it would last.’

I can't hold on to me,
Wonder what's wrong with me
.

As I sliced through the surface of the water and plunged deeper into the dark water, I realized the exceptionally strong tide that began to toss me around like a rag doll. “Keep swimming” Edward urged, but all I saw was darkness around me and I didn’t know where to go. “Damn it, Bella, keep fighting!!” he yelled. ‘Why should I?’ I thought, ‘You’re not here and I can’t take this pain anymore. Death is better than being without you any longer’ Then that’s when I saw him, and I didn’t want to fight anymore. I saw Edward, every flawless feature, in perfect detail. At that moment the current took me over and shoved me abruptly into a rock. It hit me solidly across the chest, knocking the air out of my lungs. It was at that point that I knew this was the end.

Lithium, don't want to lock me up inside.
Lithium, don't want to forget how it feels without...
Lithium, ...stay in love with my sorrow.
I'm gonna let it go.

‘Goodbye, I love you’ was my last thought, as I began slowly sinking to the bottom of the dark ocean floor.