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Memories & Feelings

Ok… I know that there are a lot of other songfics like this, but the songs I use here are ones that I don’t see used a lot. I will also include links to the songs for each chapter. I don’t know about you, but I always like to hear what the author is referring to when they talk about a song, it really helps me get into the story! Thanks to Day for helping me with this story!! ;) Chapter 3: Separation (Bella & Edward POV) is out!!please tell me what you think of this... I'm not posting anymore until I get some rewiews!! :(

Please go easy on me... this is my first time doing something like this! :S

5. I Won't Be Far Behind

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She’s gone, and in the only way that I can’t ever get her back. I thought that my leaving Forks would make it safer for her; but it appears to have only made it worse.

Stay low.
Soft, dark, and dreamless,
Far beneath my nightmares and loneliness.

The loneliness has been torture, but with you gone like this, I’m keeping my promise to you. ‘“Anyway, you don’t irritate the Volturi. Not unless you want to die – or whatever it is we do’” I had told her, and I intend on sticking to it.

I hate me,
For breathing without you.
I don't want to feel anymore for you.

I can’t stand this pain any longer; I not going to either. It’s been hard enough these past couple months not to run back to you and beg forgiveness, but now I can’t even do that! So that’s why I’m here… on this plane, going to the only place where I can end this wretched way of life; and if your love has done anything to redeem me, I’ll be with you again soon.

Grieving for you,
I'm not grieving for you.
Nothing real love can't undo,
And though I may have lost my way,
All paths lead straight to you.

As I walk through the streets of Volterra, I think about how I’m actually going to do this. First, I’m going to ask if they will just finish me right away; although that’s not likely, Aro has wanted me to join them for quite some time. I’m more inclined to find some other way to provoke them. Kill an innocent human? No… I can’t do that to my family, or to Bella’s memory, not after everything that Carlisle had to work for to get us where we are now. This may prove more difficult than I thought.

I long to be like you,
Lie cold in the ground like you.

How could you do something so foolish, Bella? Jumping off a cliff… after hearing Esme’s story, you still do something like this! Did you expect me to save you as Carlisle did her? To be honest, if I had been there I probably would have. Damn it… why couldn’t I have been there! I’m sorry my love, I wish I could have saved you.

Blinding wall between us.
Melt away and leave us alone again.
The humming, haunted somewhere out there.
I believe our love can see us through in death.

Standing in front of those powerful vampires was a little intimidating, but I have a mission and I’m not going to let some slight intimidation stand in my way. I knew they wouldn’t accept my offer. Now I have to find some other way to tick them off. This would all be a hell of a lot easier if I weren’t bound by immortality. Then again, if I were human I wouldn’t have to be here in the first place. Sadly that also means I would have died long ago, and never have met my angel, my Bella. Sometimes you just can’t win. If I do succeed in this, my wish is that our love will bring us together again; wherever that may be.

I long to be like you,
Lie cold in the ground like you.
There's room inside for two and I'm not grieving for you,
I'm coming for you.

What else could I possibly do to get their attention? I’ve already ruled out attacking a human. I could use my strength and throw a car through a wall, which might work. Then, as I realized the time of day, it hit me. My only other option I can think of is to walk into the sun, just like I did for her in our meadow that first time, but of course this is for a VERY different reason.

You're not alone,
No matter what they told you, you're not alone.
I'll be right beside you forevermore.

As I head toward the Palazzo dei Priori I realize the reason for the crowds of people. It’s ‘Saint Marcus Day’, how ironic. They won’t like this one bit, if I’m lucky they’ll act that much quicker. I’ll wait until high noon and walk into the plaza and await my demise.

I long to be like you, sis,
Lie cold in the ground like you did.
There's room inside for two and I'm not grieving for you.

With only moments to go, my mind drifts back to thoughts of my Bella. I’m sorry my love, I wish I’d never left you. “No! Edward, look at me!” I faintly heard her voice yell. Then something ran into me, and I looked down only to see my Bella. "I can't believe how quick it was. I didn't feel a thing—they're very good," I mused as I smelled her intoxicating scent once more. “So maybe this is hell. I don’t care. I’ll take it”

And as we lay in silent bliss,
I know you remember me.

"We're not dead, not yet! But we have to get out of here before the Volturi—" she said. Wait, why would she be worried about the Volturi? If we are both dead then she shouldn’t care, unless… we aren’t dead. But if that’s the case… then I heard them I immediately moved Bella behind me to protect her; I don’t want ANY of the Volturi anywhere near her.

I long to be like you,
Lie cold in the ground like you.
There's room inside for two and I'm not grieving for you,
I'm coming for you.

Once we were on our way to see Aro, going through that dingy underground tunnel, I held Bella close to my side. After we got up there, who knew what their plans were. I was going to take any kind of reunion I could get. If they do decide to attack I will do whatever I can to slow them down in order to give her and Alice a chance to escape, no one else is going to die because of my foolishness. As we entered the building I knew this was going to be difficult.