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Alone Again

Summary:
"It was only a matter of time--and not much of it--before i showed up at your window and begged you to take me back. I'd be happy to beg now, if you'd like."--New Moon, chp. 23 Alternate approach to New moon--What if Alice didn't see Bella jump?


Notes:
Ok, just FYI, this is in Bella's point of view the night after she jumps. Alice didn't see Bella jump, so she doesn't come.... I am curious to see the kind of responses i will get from this...


4. Chapter 4

Rating 5/5   Word Count 854   Review this Chapter

(Bella’s point of view)

I awoke to a thick pain in my back and light peeking at me from behind my lids. Apparently, I had fallen asleep sometime during the night, but had never actually made it to the bed. Part of me knew something had happened last night, but I couldn’t remember what it was and couldn’t be bothered to think about it.

But before long I realized that the light hitting my face was actually the sun, and I crawled to the window. A thin yellow sun peered out at me

I stared at it a while, marveling at the wet roads that glistened under the its thin rays. Again I was reminded of something last night, but I didn’t feel the need to recall it at the moment.

I turned towards the door to go downstairs when the memories hit me. Hard. I sank down onto the bed again, the tears beginning to spill faster now, overflowing. Why is life so cruel??

After a long hour of pitying myself, I decided to go down and get some breakfast.

******

(Edward’s point of view)

No, I will not go back to Bella’s window. She is much better off without me. No, I will not go back to Bella’s window. She is much better off without me.

I repeated this like a mantra, hoping that if I thought it long enough, I would finally believe it.

But the nasty little voice in the back of my head told me what I was really thinking. Maybe she’s not better off without me. Maybe she really needs me just like I need her. Maybe, just maybe, she would forgive me if I went back.

Ughh…shut up. How could an angel like her ever forgive such a cruel demon like me?? But still that nasty voice brought back to my attention how she had called my name from the window. She had sounded hopeful, like I was really coming back to get her. Maybe she would take me back, and it would be as easy as I had dreamed—just me scooping her up into my arms and riding away into the night. Or maybe I would have to beg for a while—very well. I would happily beg for the rest of eternity just as long as she was with me.

The darkness was just beginning to retreat, giving way to a large expanse of clouds and (gasp) the sun actually decided to show itself. It pushed past the clouds, casting a light onto the green of the meadow.

Yes, I know it was a bad decision to come to the meadow, but after running from Bella’s window I had self-consciously come here. Now I sat against a tree, the rising sun casting faint sparkles on my skin.

Now, I thought, is the hard part. Not running back to Bella’s house.

*****

(Bella’s point of view)

The sun actually managed to stay in the sky as I made my way to school. Not that I was in any shape to actually go to school—especially considering the events of last night—but I couldn’t make Charlie think something was wrong…well, more wrong then it already was. He would just ship me off to Jaxonville and I wouldn’t even see Jacob anymore.

As I thought this, I flinched—I wasn’t even going to see Jacob anymore. Maybe I should just go to Jaxonville—it wouldn’t be any worse then here.

*****

In biology, Mike decided to perch on the edge of my table again, a feat he hadn’t accomplished since before Edward had said he loved me. Now that I had come out of my shell with Jacob, Mike had started talking to me again, casually bringing up the weather, or some other unimportant article of information. He had gradually started talking about how now that “Cullen” was gone, would I maybe like to go grab something to eat after school or something, and then, after I politely declined him, had started asking me out every chance he got.

“Bella—the winter ball is tomorrow night, and I was wondering, I know this is a little late but…maybe you’d like to go with me?” He asked. I frowned; he was asking me out yet again. I’d just have to say no…again.

But maybe this is what I needed—something to take my mind off the pain. After all, it wasn’t like Edward was coming back, and while Jacob was gone it wouldn’t hurt me to have a little fun. I couldn’t go back into my shell—and maybe this is what I needed.

“Why not?” I said, shrugging. Mike’s jaw nearly hit his chest.

“Seriously?” He asked. He obviously hadn’t expected my change of heart. Well then why did he ask anyways??

“Sure. It wouldn’t hurt for me to get out of the house this weekend.” Aside from the fact that I couldn’t dance at all, this should be fun. Mike was sure to be drooling over me, and I needed some male attention.