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Slow Me Down - A Jacob Black FanFiction

Summary:

He had never known love. He thought that she was the best in the world. Oh how fate could twist one’s view. A simple what Jacob finds at the end of his long run story.
This is written to the song Slow Me Down be Emmy Rossum. It shows Jacob’s feelings better than I could ever manage.


Notes:
All of this belongs to Mrs. Meyer. She knows that I will never be able to play with these folks like she can. I'm just having some fun.


1. Chapter 1

Rating 3.4/5   Word Count 1208   Review this Chapter

Slow Me Down- A Jacob Black FanFiction



Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud. Thu-thud. Thu-thud. Thu-thud. Th-thud. Th-thud. Th-thud. T-thud.T-thud. T-thud. T-thud. His footsteps grew faster and faster as his need to get away from everything- everything and anything- grew. He ran as he had never run before, as no creature had run before. Not even that damned Cullen. No. Jacob pushed all thoughts of Forks aside, never to think them again. He hated them now. Every thing and every one, his pack included.


He remembered the last days of his old life clearly. He could smell her, see their faces, feel the adrenaline rush of battle. He had loved it all, had been addicted to it all. Of course, he had not needed to pay for rehab- a little piece of paper was the only cure he would ever need. He could never forgive any of them now. He even shouldered some of the blame- if unfairly- on his own pack brothers. On Emily and Sam, and their happiness. On Quil’s acceptance of Bella and Embry’s brotherliness to her. He blamed them for not convincing her to not join the dark side- the damned side.


He had tried to seem strong. He had been strong during the fight. Strong enough- he hoped to win Bella’s heart. But no. Cullen had not lifted a finger in the main confrontation and in Jacob’s rather biased opinion, done nothing of importance. But logic flashed in his brain. Cullen had saved Bella- saved the only thing precious to Jacob. That only further enraged the wolf, further increased his ridiculous speed.


He had tried to make it seem like he had moved on. But no one believed him. Not the pack, not the leeches, not bright and insightful, not beautiful Bella. The angel was far too smart for that.


But was she really an angel? a voice inside his head asked. It was no one he knew. No. It was not even a voice. It was a thought- silent but perfectly audible. Of course Jacob could hear his thoughts. It was stupid of him to forget. But he had. He had forgotten that but was not able to banish the thoughts of Forks and its inhabitants. Nor the residents of La Push. No matter what, he could not forget.


The thing he craved most of all was impossible. He wished that somehow he could have induced amnesia upon himself. The bliss of forgetfulness was such an enticing dream that Jacob nearly ran into a tree, he was so lost in his day dreams. Shaking his head agitatedly, he kept running. Now running was the only thing he knew. The only thing he would ever know.


All he wanted was to fall in love with a person- Bella preferably and be happy forever. Was that too much to ask for? Jacob did not think so. Everyone else seemed to have. Sam and Emily had it, his parents had had it, and as much as he was loathe to admit it, Bella and the damn leech had it as well. Love was everywhere except were he needed it the most: right in front of him.


He wanted to be able to stop running, to stop moving. He wanted to plant his feet solidly on the ground and shift back into a human for all eternity. He wanted to slow down- just stop and breathe. He wanted to get it all together again- he had long since fallen apart. He wanted to be normal, to not know Bella or heartache, to not know the joys she had brought. He wanted to imprint. He believed that that was the solution to his problems. But no one- even in his mind, could match the perfection on earth that was Bella.


Jacob skidded to a halt as realization swept through him. The smell of humans lingered in the air. Not four miles off. He could barely make out the sounds of human civilization. This was it. Here, he could forget. He could live. He could prove he didn’t need Bella or the pack or any one.

Why not? he reasoned to himself. It was his life and his to mold.


Slowly- almost achingly, he stood on his hind legs and shifted. It hurt like hell, especially since he had not shifted in over two days. He stood in his nakedness tall and proud, hiding the defeated man inside. He would need clothes, he knew, but that could be taken care of later. He stretched, becoming used to the human muscles and form all over again. No one, not even Sam had stayed in wolf form for so long.


Jacob stopped breathing and listened. The woods permeated every one of his senses. He could smell the wood and the dirt, the foliage and dew, hear the stream nearby and the birds singing in different keys. He felt the damp earth- something he hadn’t noticed as a wolf. The air even tasted different. It was like he was in a completely new world.


Slowly- it was still painful to move as a man, Jacob walked towards the rushing sounds of a city. It took some time but he reached it, sure to cover himself with bushes so no one saw him and all of his glory. Jacob looked at the tall metal building scraping against the sky, breathed in the toxic fumes of cars and the smells of every day life in the city. He saw the dry hard concrete not four feet away and longed to reach out and touch it. But he could not risk revealing himself. Jacob looked in awe at the epic expanse in front of him and realized what he had missed as a wolf- both in the pack and on the run. He had missed people- human beings. Those the werewolves were said to protect. He had missed out on a life because of his genes.

No more, he thought. He was done with all of that. He was ready to live for Jacob Black and Jacob Black alone. Here, he would restart his life and make it a better one. He could forget and rebuild, remodeling so that everything was perfect. He decided that the was ready for some perfection, for a heaven on this earthly hell. He had had enough of the latter already. Here no one knew about him or leeches or wolves or legends. Here, he had no duties, responsibilities or obligations. Here, he was just himself, another teen trying to make his way in the world.


Here he would meet her. He didn’t need to imprint to feel her presence. Somewhere, in the epic city in front of him, she was waiting to help him slow down and gain control over everything. But- unlike before- Jacob could wait.


His long journey had led him down a different path than expected. He learned lessons he did not realize he needed to know. The most important one was that wherever he went, he would most likely be alone. And he could survive with just himself. He didn’t need others like Bella or the pack to live. Not when he was going to live free for the first time in years.