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'Voice Inside My Head'

Summary:
Instead of Edward leaving Bella in New Moon, it is Bella’s decision to let Edward go. Bella moves on, marries Jacob, has a kid, gets a house… But she is still plagued by the thought of Edward. His voice, like so long ago, still rings inside her head.

Notes:
All of these sonfics have been put together in a story (or will be) as they all use songs by the Dixie Chicks. This is my first go at writing songfics so my apologies if it isn't up to scratch. By the way, they are all non-related and some may be covering the same topic (but obviously using different songs and setting etc. I'll try not to make it too repetitive).

1. 1 - Voice Inside My Head

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 576   Review this Chapter

I made my choice. I choose Jacob. He could always give me so much more than him: warmth, a family, a future. With Edward there was only eternal damnation and cold. Endless cold.

So why, more than ten years on, could I not stop thinking about him?

I was only a kid

When I said goodbye to you

Ten summers ago

But it feels like yesterday

Lost, scared and alone

Nothing I could give to you

I tried, I really did

But I couldn’t find another way

And I want and I need

Somehow to believe

In the choice I made

Am I better off this way

“Forever Bella” said a voice inside my head. The voice I had grown accustomed to since I left him back when I was 18. Edward’s voice.

“I would have loved you forever, for all eternity.”

The tears came to my eyes and tumbled down my cheeks to land in my lap.

I didn’t even try to stop them.

I can hear the voice inside my head

Saying you should be with me instead

Every time I’m feeling down, I wonder

What would it be like with you around

I looked up at the sun shining above me. It shone down on First beach, spreading warmth up and down my skin. I stretched out across the roots of the driftwood tree and lay on my back, still staring up to the sun.

The tears stopped as I remember how I used to see Jacob as my personal sun.

So I, I made my way

Cold and roaming in the wild

I’m forever changed

By someone I never knew

Now I’ve, I’ve got a place

I’ve got a husband and a child

But I’ll never forget

What I’ve given up in you

I looked across the beach to where Jacob and our son, Peter, were attempting to start a bonfire. The rest of the pack were there too; laughing, talking, the younger kids playing baseball on the sand.

I closed my eyes and remembered the first time I saw Edward play baseball. I could never, ever forget it. Every moment spent with him was etched into my mind – never fading – being slowly pushed to the side by my years spent with Jacob.

And I want, I need

Somehow to believe

In the choice I made

A m I better off this way

I can hear the voice inside my head

Saying you should be with me instead

Every time I’m feeling down, I wonder

What would it be like with you around

I slowly picked myself up and walked slowly along the waters edge, still thinking of Edward. The group had started singing, I wasn’t sure what. Until I got closer.

“…to you! Happy Birthday dear Bella! Happy Birthday to you!”

“Hip-hip!” called Jacob

“Hooray!” Chorused everyone else.

“Hip-hip!” “Hooray!” “Hip-hip!” “Hooray!”

I smiled and ran up to them all, embracing Jacob and Peter in a tight hug. I pushed all thoughts of Edward aside as I kissed them both on the cheek. One voice though, one whisper, slipped through.

“30 at last Bella. Enjoy it.”

And I want, I need

Somehow to believe

In the choice I made

Am I better off this way

I can hear the voice inside my head

Saying you should be with me instead

Every time I’m down, I wonder

What would it be like with you around

I realize now what I should have a long time ago. Edward wanted me to be happy. This is the life I had chosen and it was more then enough for me.

Goodbye Edward, I thought, as I sat down between my husband and son – my life.