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A Shadow of the Midnight Sun

Summary:
My take on Midnight Sun after reading Stephenie's first chapter...begining with the return from Alaska Chapter 15 posted!---- NEXT CHAPTER...PORT ANGELAS ---- Just a note: This story is getting increasingly difficult, but I will try to update regularly...Edward is just so complicated!


Notes:
Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me in any way, shape or form. They are Stephenie Meyer’s fantastic creations and I am only writing this for entertainment purposes, my own and yours if someone else is reading this. In addition, if there is any dialogue Bella is in earshot of, or involved in, it is all Mrs. Meyer’s genius and some of the internal dialogue may be taken from words that Edward will later say or paraphrase to Bella or another character.


1. Decisions

Rating 3.6/5   Word Count 1310   Review this Chapter

Ha! My phone was ringing, it was Alice. I didn’t even have time to really convince myself I had made the decision…but I did. I was going home. That silly human girl – girl, not demon – was not driving me from my home, my family.

“Hey!” I answered before the first ring had really started.

“Edward! ‘Took you long enough!” Alice shouted in that knowing voice.

“The phone barely started to ring,” I answered teasingly, understanding what she meant right away. She sighed and I could tell she was rolling her eyes. “It all seems so silly now; I hope everyone can forgive me, for my sudden departure and for my momentary slip.” I continued.

Alice was quiet for a minute. “I didn’t tell them everything Edward, not about the images your decisions brought me, about the dark places you were going.” My head filled with the remembrance of that day, sitting in that small room with those thirty children, thinking thoughts that had not crossed my mind in so long. She continued, “I just gave them the jest and Carlisle knew what you had told him. Esme is sad that you didn’t come to her, but you know she will forgive you. Emmett thought that you deserved a slip up and you know Jasper agreed…they think you are too perfect for your own good…and Rosalie is Rosalie, she was too busy doing her hair or something to even notice…”

I thought about this for a minute, maybe it was better if only Alice really knew how close I came to be more brutal and savage than I had ever been. If she was the only one who could know how much of a monster I could really be, maybe I could go back to normal.

Alice seemed to be waiting for me to say something but suddenly blurted, “you should know something…” I started to ask her to tell me when I arrived home, I was eager to get on my way, but she was persistent. “This decision is more complicated than you may think, it won’t be easy.”

What did that mean, I was going home. That was the decision, what more could there be? The girl was nothing, just new and I had been thirsty, if I had fed the day before I wouldn’t have even noticed her. I know that now, it was just so stupid. “Alice, decision made, what part won’t be easy, traffic?” I asked, more just trying to understand.

She hesitated again, “Never mind, just come home. It’s lonely being the only one in my own head.”

I chuckled, she can be so weird sometimes, “Okay Alice, I will see you soon.” I’ll find out what she is talking about when I get home. She won’t - cannot - be so evasive once I can see her mind.

*********

Ah, snow.

Not that there wasn’t snow in Alaska, but it is just more fun when Emmett is around. Jasper and I are soaked, but Emmett, though he started it, happily took the brunt of the battle.

He gets me wet; I will kill him, literally. Rosalie can be so melodramatic. I smiled at her and shook my head. She just glared, letting me know she meant it.

I swear she has looked over for Edward Cullen ever day for the last week! She is obsessed, and he obviously was revolted by her from what I hear…she should get over it. Like she doesn’t have enough guys falling over themselves to get to talk to her…Mike, Eric…she doesn’t know where to stop! At least, as long as I am her friend I get to…That Jessica girl is so annoying, the reason I detest so many of the humans in this place.

Looking up at the thought of my name, I see who she was thinking about; it was Bella Swan, the object of my hate and loathing - No, that was me, not her. Bella was staring at me, I caught her. There it is again, that empty space where I can see a girl sitting, but no thoughts are being thought. No sounds, except those around her. Only when I hear Jessica tell Bella that I was staring do I look away. I hate having to wait for her to say something out loud or to have to probe the puerile thoughts of her friends.

I hear Bella confess, out loud or more in a shy whisper, that she doesn’t think I like her. If she only knew! Like is the wrong word, desire is a good one, a monstrous desire to tear into her thin pale skin releasing that delicious scent full force. Wait, I was just remembering that day, it was not going to happen again today, or ever. It was a moment of weakness, I am better than that. It will not happen again, I am strong enough to get through an hour sitting near her, a mere human, I do it everyday, she is no different than the rest of them.

She is so clueless and full of herself. Thinking Edward gave her a second thought really, he would not even give ME the time a day and I am much prettier than her…her newness will wear off and everything would go back to normal…I quit listening when Jessica’s thoughts left Bella.

I’ll try one of the others sitting at the table, Mike maybe, he seemed to pay a lot of attention to her; Snow! I cannot wait for school to be over, then it will be on! Maybe Bella will stay and join us…no help. There was the Angela girl, one of the more bearable children in this place, but she only thought of what she had to do this evening, and avoiding Newton’s snow war after school.

I look over one more time, to see if maybe I can at least see what Bella might be thinking, if just from her expression. She doesn’t seem to be too excited about the impending parking lot onslaught of snow either. But I couldn’t really know, I couldn’t hear her thoughts, it was a guess. I don’t like to guess.

Admittedly, it may drive me to the brink of insanity. There has to be a key to this, she really does have no thoughts, even less than some of these other people or something totally different all together. I have to know.

But why do I care, I had to ask myself.

I have to know, because I have to make her forget that first day, no reason to cast suspicion on us, my family, because of my misstep. That is the reason. I knew there had to be a better one than that one that immediately comes to mind. Desire. More than the desire to taste her blood, a desire deep inside me that I refuse to acknowledge except that I want to understand it as well.

At that thought, Alice jerks her head around to stare at me; a smile spreads on her face. Told you she taunts. What is she talking about, this isn’t difficult, just an experiment, a test for me, a way to make her not think about the hatred I know she felt on that fateful day. If it doesn’t work, it will be over.

I stop.

Again, why do I care if she remembers how much hatred I radiated toward her; If she thinks I am a monster, I am just that, so why shouldn’t she think as much?

I look to see what Alice is seeing, but she is singing some silly verse to drown me out. What is she hiding? She sees my inquisitiveness and agitation and stops long enough for me to hear, it will all work out. Rolling my eyes, I got up to go to class.