Love and Since
After NM. Bella was married to a werewolf. She had a baby. And then, she was bitten by Laurent. What happens seventy years later? What would they do when they meet up in a school? How would Edward handle another singer? Drama. R&R please! Rating T plus.
2. Chapter 1 ? Bella?s story, part 1.
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Chapter 1 – Bella’s story, part 1.
My eyes full of resentment, I glared at my family, who were sitting around me. Everyone was blocking their thoughts, and no one dared to meet my gaze, not even Rosalie. After a while, Carlisle spoke up.
“Edward, you’ve spent 30 years in that house. Alice saw it; it was going to collapse next week!” He took a deep breath, “Look, it’s been six and a half decade now.”
I let out an audible growl. Carlisle looked at me cautiously before continuing his speech. “You love her. We all love her. But Edward, you cannot keep on mourning Bel-”
At that point I stood up and threwEsme’s coffee table across the room. It hit the grand piano, causing the lid to break off. But I didn’t care at that moment. Nothing mattered then, except my anger. I was sure my irises had changed to a deep black. And then I couldn’t stop the flow of harsh words flowing from my mouth.
“DON’T SAY HER NAME! YOU ARE MY FAMILY; YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO CARE ABOUT ME! WHY COULDN’T YOU JUST LET ME BE! LET ME WALLOW UP IN MY PATHETIC WORLD! I DON’T WANT PITY! I DON’T WANT TO PRETEND THAT I AM HUMAN! I AM SICK OF ALL THIS PRETENDING! WHY CAN’T I JUST GO TO ITALY AND END MY MISERABLE EXSISTENCE!” Panting heavily for the air I didn’t need. I couldn’t stand this anymore. For the hundredth time, I wished that Carlisle did not bite me. Anything would have to be better than this, an endless existence without my angel.
Ignoring the hurt and shock on my family’s faces, I ran outside. I needed to do something, anything, to let the built up emotions out.
I ran deeper into the forest, looking for a human free zone.
Parking my car on the furthest parking spot available, I lowered the windows, sniffing the air for any signs of Austin. Austin Hals had been my personal stalker ever since he had ‘accidentally’ bumped into me on my ‘first day of school’. I breathed a sigh of relief when I couldn’t sense his scent. Today must be my lucky day.
Smiling to myself, I rolled up the windows, grabbed my bag and headed towards my locker. I had arrived with five minutes to spare. As I walked past the students, I noticed that they were all gathered together, talking. Curious, I stopped at my locker, doing things extra slow, and listened to other people’s conversations. At times like this vampire hearing becomes useful. Although the hall was very noisy, every word was easily understandable.
“…yeah. The new kids are hot! I saw them when I had to go to the office that day to run an errand for Cowell. And I started fanning myself when I saw the blonde chick…” said a jock.
“… their first day of school today…” that came from a cheerleader.
“… smart. Never had a grade lower than A on their reports…” A chess clubber said, pushing his glasses further up his nose.
I stopped listening. Apparently today was the first day for some new kids. It was rather rare to get new students in this town, so small town gossip would start, and last for a week, of course.
Frowning, I grabbed what I needed then headed towards English. Quietly, I put my stuff down next Susannah.
There was something about Susannah Bell. Every time I saw her, it pained me, physically. She had the same pink lips and the same shade of light brown hair as my daughter had. It took everything in me not to cry whenever I see her.
“Good morning Bells, how are you today?” I asked.
She smiled. I returned her gesture. “Fine, thank you. Did you hear about the new kids?”
I felt my grin wither slightly; not her too. “Actually, no. I hadn’t been paying attention.”
She looked at me like I was crazy. “Are you serious? Ever since a Pop-o saw them two days ago, everyone had been talking about how hot they are.”
I forced myself to let out a dry laugh. “No. I guess I had been living in my own world.”
She stared at me for a second, and then shrugged. “Oh. I guess. Sometimes fantasy is better than reality. But you need to wake up sometimes.” She teased, poking me lightly on the head. I grimaced; she had no idea how right she was. Quickly, I composed my face.
Luckily I didn’t have to reply. Mr. Sealey had started class.
I knew it wasn’t okay to have gotten so close to a human. It would only be harder for me when I leave in a few years time. But I couldn’t help it; this – this relationship with Susannah – in a way, was making up the time I had never had with my daughter. She treated me like I was her big sister. Susannah had accepted me for me – not as a weirdo, not as a vampire, but as me, Bella Swan. Bells had lost her mother when she was five, and right now was living with her father Dennis Bell, who taught her that every fairytale is a lie since the age of six, because his heart was broken by Bell’s mother.
Because I care about her, I don’t intend for her to ever found out my secret. Partly, it’s for me too. What would she think of me when she found out what I really am? The monster? I shuddered. For my own selfish reasons, I would never tell her, even if guilt was eating my guts out; she deserved to know about the truth behind what her sister-figure really was.
Someone tapped my shoulder, making me jump. I turned around; it was the very person of my thoughts.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. Class was over. Are you okay? From before I mean.” She said, her face full of unnecessary guilt.
I frowned. She was much too observant. In fact, I was surprised that she still hadn’t figured out what I really am. And then I smiled, for her. “Oh no, it’s nothing. I was lost in my thoughts. Again. I guess we should go to class. I’ll see you at lunch.” Cautiously, I hugged her before I left.
Surprisingly, I did not have one class with anyone of the new kids. But according to the students who had, they were ‘smokin’ hot’. I laughed at the use of words. Kids these days.
And then lunch, my favorite session. I walked outside Spanish classroom to wait for Susannah.
“You ready to go?” I said, my lips twisted into a smile. My smiles were always natural whenever I see her.
“Yep. I’m feeling hungry.” She stated. As if proving her words, her stomach started to growl loudly. “And my stomach agrees with me.” She said, patting it fondly. I laughed at her childishness.
We walked into the cafeteria. As usual, hundreds of scents hit me. But today, something was new. The scents were new, but familiar. I frowned; familiarity meant that I had to move… soon.
As someone else entered the room, a gust of wind blew in, wafting my scent. Out of the corner of my eyes I sensed three heads looked up in my direction.
It was them. I took a deep breath. There was no way I could hide now that they saw me. I felt myself relax slightly as when I realized Edward and Emmett weren’t there. That’s two less people to stop me.
And then Alice, Jasper and Rosalie ran over – as fast as possible at human speed – and stopped within five meters of me.
“Bella?” Alice whispered, as if unsure I was really there.
I stared at them, trying to control my wild emotions.
Susannah snapped her fingers in front my face. “Hello? Bella, are you okay?” She asked, her gaze running from me to the Cullens.
Recomposing my composure quickly, I knew I couldn’t handle meeting them right now. I addressed Susannah with the most persuasive voice I had. “Yes, let’s go to lunch.”
Jasper reached out and grabbed my arm. “Come with me. Us. Please, we need to talk.”
Susannah eyed the people I was with, and then decided to abandon me. “Well, I’m getting lunch. Bye Bella.” She walked away.
I shook my head, trying to shake enough logic back into it to handle the situation.
“Bella, please, let’s go somewhere private.” Alice begged. I looked around at the room; a lot of curious and jealous eyes were on me. How I had wished that I was in their place instead!
Nodding, I gestured for her to lead the way.
Alice led me to a spare classroom before she tackled me with a hug. I didn’t hug her back. I didn’t dare to let myself get close again when they were going to leave again. I had promised myself that after I had changed. This was one promise I was going to keep.
Ignoring the look of hurt on Alice’s face, I spoke to the three vampires in front of me.
“Look, let’s just get this over and done with. What do you guys want?” I asked, ice ringing in my tone and taking over my face. I could fool everyone with lies, but Jasper was going to be tricky.
“Bella, we just want to talk to you, we want to catch up.” Alice said, panic clear on her face. I bet she had already seen my decision.
“What do you want to know? Let’s get this over and done with.” I repeated my earlier words.
“Bella, please, let’s go back to my house. Please. Esme and Carlisle would love to see you again. Our family hasn’t been the same.” Alice pleaded.
Rosalie spoke up, shocking me. “Bella, I know we hadn’t exactly had been friends in the past. I know I had hurt your feelings many times. I just want to say,” She took a deep breath “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything hurtful I’ve ever done to you. After we left, I realized, for the first time that you changed our family a lot. I miss you. Please, Esme would really love to see you, she mourned like she had lost a daughter when she heard about your death. Please, if not for us, come and see Esme.”
I felt my determination melt. That was the longest speech I’ve ever heard Rosalie say. And did she say sorry? I relaxed my ‘mask’, and then sighed.
I followed their car to a house that looked similar to the one in Forks. I flinched; that house had too many memories.
We walked inside, me behind them.
“Esme! Carlisle! Emmett! Edward! You’ll never guess who’s here!” Alice yelled, bouncing.
Esme, Carlisle and Emmett appeared on top of the stairs. They looked at Alice, and then froze when they saw me.
“Bella? Bella Swan? Is that really you?” Esme asked, rubbing her eyes.
I nodded, forcing myself to smile. I heard a door upstairs bash open, and out came the Greek God.
He hadn’t changed. He still looked like the perfect angel I had fallen in love with seventy-one years ago. Except, he seemed to have aged. But quickly, I realized it was because of his dark eyes, and the circles underneath them seemed to be black.
There was a look of shock on his perfect face. In his eyes – although the irises were pitch black – showed love and lust. And he was staring at me. However, I didn’t dare let myself hope. I wouldn’t – and couldn’t – handle it when he leaves me again. I knew he would. Besides, I didn’t deserve him. I wasn’t clean. That thought made me look away.
From what I could hear, Edward began to descend down the stairs, following Esme and Carlisle. He then seated himself on a single sofa. I felt his gaze on me the whole time, as if I was a blue moon.
“Bella? How are you?” Carlisle asked, his voice full of warmth. For the first time, I looked at him. He appeared to be tired, much more tired than I had ever seen him.
“Fine thank you Carlisle.” I answered politely.
“Let’s take a seat.” He pointed at the huge sofa, smiling.
Everyone began to seat themselves. I took a single seat opposite Edward, and Rosalie sat next to me. For the first time since I had entered the Cullen’s house, I smiled naturally at her. She smiled back, relief and happiness obvious on her magnificent face.
Emmett, before sitting next to Rose, gave me a one arm hug and a goofy grin.
“You’ll be getting a proper hug from me later.” He promised, still grinning.
“Don’t think I’ll be leaving without my hug.” I teased. He smiled wider.
Carlisle cleared his throat. “Well Bella, how were you?” he asked, referring to the past seventy years.
I knew I would have to tell them my past, at one point. I sighed. “Before I begin, I should warn you. This story isn’t a happy one. You should know before you decide if you want to listen to this or not. ” I warned them.
“Bella, you know we are interested in anything you do. We care about you.” Esme smiled at me, encouraging me to continue.
Feeling slightly more confident, I began talking before the small amount of courage evaporated. “When you guys left, I didn’t take it well. In fact, that’s putting it lightly. But I won’t go into details.” Edward winced. I glanced curiously at him before continuing.
“After a few months, I had met up with an old friend called Jacob Black, from La Push.” Jasper interrupted me.
“Sorry Bella, but isn’t La Push where the werewolves live?” He asked.
I smiled half heartedly. “Yes. Jacob became a werewolf.”
Alice looked shocked. “But, Bella, he must have been a new werewolf at the time! Do you know how dangerous that is?” She asked, frowning at the same time.
I felt myself snapping; how dare she question my actions? “Aren’t vampires as mythical as werewolves? What gives one the right to question the other’s control? As far as I’m concerned, both sides had hurt me equally. I wasn’t safe from anyone.”
Alice recoiled as if I had slapped her. Immediately I felt guilty. “I’m sorry Alice, that was out of line. Please forgive me.”
She wiggled out of Jasper’s lap, then engaged me in hug. “Of course I forgive you! You are right anyways. I’m sorry Bella. I shouldn’t have left Forks, and most of all, let you. I should be the one asking for forgiveness.” She said.
“Let’s put the past behind us, and start new. It’s all the past.” I smiled at her.
“Yes!” She squealed, jumping off my lap. The Cullens and I laughed together.
“Sorry Bella for the interruption, please continue.” Carlisle said.
I took a deep breath. I was glad for the distraction. “Okay. At first, I seemed to be healing. I no longer screamed in my sleep. I felt safe. Eventually, I fall in love. And a week later, Jacob and I got married.” I paused, then glanced at Edward, who seemed to be gripping the arm of the sofa tightly. Suddenly he stood up, and headed towards the door.
“No, please, stay. Edward, you have better manners than that. Please come back and sit down, and apologize.” Carlisle ordered, glaring at Edward.
Slowly, Edward made his way back to the sofa, his eyes still shut tight. A moment later, he regained his composure and spoke calmly.
“I’m sorry Bella. I don’t know what gotten over me. Please accept my apology.” He said.
“That’s okay, you don’t have to listen.” I smiled at him to show there were no hard feelings.
“No, I would like to listen, if you don’t mind me. Please continue.” He insisted.
“Charlie approved, Renee was, well, Renee. She did everything she could to talk me out of the marriage. But I was determined, and you all know how stubborn I can be.” Emmett laughed. “For a few months, life was almost back to normal. Well, at least I was no longer zombie-like. Jake had brought some sunshine back into my life. Not a lot, but enough. He made me laugh everyday.” I couldn’t help but smiled at the memory.
“I should have known,” I let out a bitter laugh, “that with my luck, I would never be able to have a happily-ever-after ending. Two weeks after the honeymoon, Emily – Emily Uley, the imprint and wife of Sam Uley, who was the leader of the pack– held a birthday party for Sam. Of course, Jake and I went. I remember him staring at Emily’s younger sister, Jade Young. I ignored it, thinking he was looking for someone in the busy crowd. How naïve of me.” I laughed sourly.
“Ever since, Jake always seemed to be in and out, patrolling even when it wasn’t his turn. At first, I wasn’t suspicious; I had trusted him enough. And the one day, he just dropped the news on me. First, he handed me a sheet of paper and a pen, and then he said, and I quote “Bella, I’ve imprinted. I’m sorry, but I can’t love you anymore. It hurts not to be with her. Please sign this paper so we can get divorced.” My voice was quiet. A low murmur, but still comprehensible.
“Jacob had always been the straight type of person. He didn’t like to talk a lot when he could just get his point across. Naturally, I was shocked, and hurt. “Who?” I said. I’m sure you can guess my answer. It was Jade, Jade Young.” I bit my lip, trying to regain control.
“That bastard!” Emmett hissed. “I’ll kill him!”
“Emmett, please calm down. He’s dead already. I’ll explain as I go on.” I pleaded.
“Sorry Bella.” He apologized as he sat back down.
Refusing to meet anyone’s gaze, I took a deep breath and looked down, keeping my tone barely loud enough to hear.
“So I packed. I grabbed what was mine, not what we shared; I didn’t want any memories. Then I left the house driving my red truck. I went to Charlie’s house. Charlie was disappointed in Jacob, so disappointed that he refused to talk to Jacob. In fact, he refused to talk whenever Jake was in the room. Unsurprisingly, I fell back into the zombie-mode, worse than ever. A fortnight later, Charlie gave me two options. Either go back to normal – going to college – or move back to Renee’s. I didn’t blame him; he, as a father, couldn’t take away my pain. He couldn’t stand to do nothing helpful and keep on watching his little girl suffer. And I didn’t want him to suffer with me, although his pain was different to mine. He didn’t deserve the consequences of my bad choices. To relive him, I picked option one. I got a student loan, and then moved to Washington to attend the local college there.”
“That first night, I got dragged to a college party. Deciding to be stupid, I chugged down two bottles of beer. Of course, I got drunk. I remembered when I woke up, I was lying on a white sheet, naked and my body was sore. Nine months later, I gave birth to a baby girl. Her name was Elizabeth, Elizabeth Rolisme Swan.”
“You had a daughter?” Rosalie asked, her tone full of astonishment.
“Yes. She had the most adorable lips, and her hair was a light brown shade. She was beautiful.” I smiled as I remembered the first time I held her.
“Where is she now?” Rosalie inquired, eager.
The smile on my face slit off. I tried to compose my shaking shoulders. “S-she’s dead.” I whispered.
I felt someone approaching me. Holding my hand up, I stopped them. “Please,” I croaked. “Just give me a moment.”
Wrapping my arms around my legs, I began to dry sob.
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