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Love and Since

Summary:
After NM. Bella was married to a werewolf. She had a baby. And then, she was bitten by Laurent. What happens seventy years later? What would they do when they meet up in a school? How would Edward handle another singer? Drama. R&R please! Rating T plus.


Notes:


4. Chapter 3 - Edward

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 2218   Review this Chapter

Chapter 4 – Edward.

(This starts after he blew off some steam – see chapter one if you don’t remember)

I stared, unseeingly at the forest scene in front of me. Birds were chirping, the wind was blowing. Everything seemed so full of life, and empty of pain. It seemed ironic, as if God was making fun what I had undergone. Yet I could not conjure the anger, for at that moment, I was empty of emotions.

A different scent, which could be oh-so-comforting to a child, drifted to my nose along with the smell of the forest. I recognized it at once; it was Esme’s scent, and she was approaching me. However I made no movement to greet my mother, or attempt to hear her thoughts. I sat there like a statue, unmoving.

Quietly, she sat down next to me, her gaze on me. I didn’t look at her.

“Your eyes are… empty.” She spoke softly, her voice quivered on the last word. It wasn’t an accusation, nor insult, but a statement.

I didn’t respond.

“Edward, please don’t ignore me.” She begged, her tone slightly louder. I sighed, and then turned my head, giving her my full attention. Mentally, I cursed myself. Is not a vampire supposed to be strong? Why can’t I stand for Esme to be in pain?

Hesitantly, she placed on hand on my shoulder. Esme took it as a good sign that I did not shook it off. “I know you must hate us at the moment.” she began.

“I don’t.” My reply was simple. Realizing how cold it sounded, I tried to smile, but my facial muscles were not working.

“Edward. I know this is hard.” She spoke. “It wasn’t easy – and it still isn’t. We weren’t coping, especially you. But, please,” she let out a small sob. “We’ve already lost her, and we can’t lose you. I can’t lose you. Life is dreadful enough without her.” At this point, she could contain herself no longer. She began to dry sob loudly. I put my arms around her, embracing her into a hug. She, in return, rested her forehead on my shoulder.

It was inconceivably hard not to join in with Esme, for her emotion had alight mine. But I had managed, for this was the last piece of pride I had left.

A few minutes later, Esme calmed down. She sat up, and turned her body so that it faced me entirely. “Please, just try and live normally. Just try for our family. For me. Please Edward.” she pleaded.

I thought back over the past decades. With a stab of guilt, I had realized the family had not been the same. Even Emmett – nothing-could-ever-bother-me-Emmett – had ceased to show his sense of humor. And it was my fault; if only I had not left Forks, left my… Stop! I told myself harshly. Bella had gotten what I wanted her to have. Children, college, human husband… But she did not live as long as she could have. The other half of my brain whispered.

Frustrated, I gripped my hair. I knew I could not hurt my mother any longer. Esme was in pain, although it wasn’t physical, it hurt just as bad. My resolution was already diminished, for I could not stand seeing Esme like this.

“Yes, I’ll try.” I whispered.

“That’s all I can ask for.” She gave me a hug. “Are you ready to go back?” She asked.

“Yes.” I sighed. I owed everyone an apology for my early behavior.

“All but Emmett and Carlisle had stayed at home today. Everyone else went to school.”

“Oh.” I answered.

“Let’s go sweetheart.” Gently, Esme gripped my hand and she began to run, slightly pulling me along. Quickly, I quickened my pace and ran with her.

---

Carlisle and Emmett, unsurprisingly, forgave me for my earlier behavior. Although my words were rather stiff, they had accepted it happily. Emmett even joked, pressing a slight emotion of surprise out of me.

The gloomy weather was obvious, shown through the window in my bedroom. Miserably, I picked up the remote, and changed to Clair De Lune, hoping to lose myself in some memories that I had shared with my angel.

Suddenly, Alice’s ‘inner voice’ was audible. She was singing Wannabe, the most absurd song of the pop world, backwards.

Soon, Jasper and Rosalie’s ‘inner voices’ appeared as well. They too were blocking their minds. I frowned; this cannot be good. I moved near the window, ready to throw myself out if necessary.

“Esme! Carlisle! Emmett! Edward! You’ll never guess who’s here!” Alice yelled. I rolled my eyes, but could not help but been surprised; Alice had not shown this much enthusiasm in a very long time.

Immediately, the doors to their separate rooms cracked open, and their footsteps rang.

“Bella? Bella Swan? Is that really you?” I could hear Esme’s voice.

Bella?

Nothing could describe my feelings and thoughts at that moment. Shock, anger, sadness, calm, joy and surprise charged my emotions in a matter of seconds. It was too much, and I had to see the scene for myself.

Impatiently, I wrenched the door out of the way. Straight away, her scent hit me. It encouraged me, yet saddened me at the same time. For the first time in a long time, I felt hope. And I could deny myself no longer when I saw my angel again.

She was indeed there, standing. She still had the same shade of chocolate brown hair that I love, and our gaze connected. Immediately I was lost, lost in her beautiful eyes again.

I inhaled deeply, taking in more of her aroma. I had no longer needed to fight back the venom, unlike oh-so-many years ago.

I had no longer needed to fight back the venom. Suddenly, I realized what I had thought. My eyes widen in surprise, then quickly narrowed in anger; who did this to her?

But I was quickly distracted by her form, her beautiful curve, her beautiful face, and her golden eyes. To my surprise, gold eyes had suited her nicely, if not better than chocolate. I felt a sudden hunger, which I knew it had nothing to do with food.

Then, a slight smile appeared on her face, and to my disappointment, it vanished as soon as it had appeared. She rapidly looked away after that.

But I refused to look away. Who knew if this beautiful woman is an illusion, or the cause of my frequent thoughts?

My eyes still glued on her, I descended the stairs. Not caring where I sat, I sat on the closest seat available. I was barely aware that the entire family was here.

“Bella? How are you?” Carlisle asked. There must have been some miscommunication. She hadn’t died, after all. Such good news! He thought.

“Fine thank you Carlisle.” She said. I was amazed at how musical her voice sounded.

“Let’s take a seat.” Carlisle said.

They began to take seats. And then Bella smiled, not the ones she used to give me, but similar enough. Happily, I cherished the bliss of seeing her smile again.

A big blur blocked my vision of Bella. Quickly, I realized it was Emmett. He gave her a one-arm hug. I felt jealous of my brother; why could he get away from hugging Bella, while I, couldn’t?

“You’ll be getting a proper hug from me later.” Emmett said, grinning.

“Don’t think I’ll be leaving without my hug.” She teased. Momentarily, I forgot my annoyance with Emmett and listened to her gentle, soft voice.

Carlisle cleared his throat. “Well Bella, how were you?” he asked. I meant her life for the past seventy years, I know you want to know Edward, we all do. I nodded slightly in his direction to show my thanks. You’re welcome.

She sighed. “Before I begin, I should warn you. This story isn’t a happy one. You should know before you decide if you want to listen to this or not. ” On hearing her words, it was as if something grabbed my heart, and squeezed it tight. She had gone through pain? It isn’t supposed to happen like that!

“Bella, you know we are interested in anything you do. We care about you.” Esme smiled at her.

“When you guys left, I didn’t take it well. In fact, that’s putting it lightly. But I won’t go into details.” I winced. I thought she would get over it, for she was only eighteen, a teenage girl. I thought she wouldn’t feel the same way.

Curiously, she glanced before continuing. “After a few months, I had met up with an old friend called Jacob Black, from La Push.”

Isn’t that where the werewolves are? Jasper thought. He then voiced his thoughts.

She smiled, although beautiful as ever, it was half hearted. “Yes. Jacob became a werewolf.”

WHAT? Thought Alice. “But, Bella, he must have been a new werewolf at the time! Do you know how dangerous that is?” She asked.

The smile faded from Bella’s face. “Aren’t vampires as mythical as werewolves? What gives one the right to question the other’s control? As far as I’m concerned, both sides had hurt me equally. I wasn’t safe from anyone.”

I recoiled at the same time Alice had. Bella had every right to say those words, and she was right for we, I, deserved them. I looked down, ashamed.

“I’m sorry Alice, that was out of line. Please forgive me.” Bella murmured. Mentally, I sighed. Same old Bella who put other people before her, and never concerned with how she feels.

“Of course I forgive you! You are right anyways. I’m sorry Bella. I shouldn’t have left Forks, and most of all, let you. I should be the one asking for forgiveness.” Said Alice, after she engaged Bella in an embrace.

“Let’s put the past behind us, and start new. It’s all the past.” Bella said, a grin occupying her face.

“Yes!” Alice squealed. Everyone laughed.

“Sorry Bella for the interruption, please continue.” Carlisle said.

She took a deep breath, then spoke, while she fidgeted with the corner of her top. “Okay. At first, I seemed to be healing. I no longer screamed in my sleep. I felt safe. Eventually, I fall in love. And a week later, Jacob and I got married.”

My Bella got married?!? Married? My thoughts screamed. I knew I couldn’t stay in the room for any longer, for the fear that I would break another piece of Esme’s furnitures. Abruptly, I stood up, and headed towards the door quiet quickly.

“Edward, please come back. You have better manners than that. Please come back and sit down, and apologize.” Carlisle ordered

The simple action, of just going back and sitting down, it had taken more self control than what I had used when I first met Bella. I fought to regain my composure, and then I apologized, with miraculous calm in my tone.

“That’s okay, you don’t have to listen.” She smiled at me. I was relieved; I had all but wanted her to be angry with me.

I insisted that I would love to listen to the rest of her history.

The next few hours, was spent listening to Bella’s story. Now that I think about it, I pity Jasper, for my emotions were on a roller coaster. It is difficult to go into details; I was sure that at least ten different emotions had passed through me.

And I had to literally, grip my legs so that I couldn’t go and comfort her when she sobbed. And the memory she accidentally reveled to us, I was numb with pain and anger. None of that was meant to happen. I left her – left my only source of true happiness, left my true love – so she could have a normal life. A life without mythical creatures, a life that is normal, with children and a human husband. I knew, by making the decision to leave, that I was ruining my existence, but I had to do something to try and let Bella live in her human world. A normal life. It seemed that her life would have been better if I didn’t leave her; we both would have been very happy.

I have been proud of her for revenging. I have been proud that she was finally standing up for herself. In my opinion, what the man got was nothing compared to if I could get my hands on him.

And it is ridiculous she should feel that everything was her fault. If there was someone to blame, it would be me.

That night, she stayed after Alice unleashed her ‘eye power’ on Bella. I wanted more than anything to embrace her in my arms, but I knew it wasn’t acceptable any more. So I had left the house, and didn’t return until the morning for school. I only had so much self control.

I couldn’t live without her. So I will try, and do everything in my power to have her back. That is, if only she wants me. I want her to be happy. She deserves to be happy, my Bella.