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Deja Vu

Summary:
or Not on My Watch AU from chapter 3 of New Moon. Bella is taken to Florida with Renee. However, she is even more heart-broken without Jacob Black to cling to. She is sent to an asylum by a distraught Renee. Alice wasn't looking. She'd promised to leave Bella alone. But sometimes the visions come before you ask. She couldn't help it. She sees Bella being sent off and goes to convince Edward she really isn't better off without him. "Because I'm not going to let you do this to her! I know what it's like in there, Edward. Maybe I don't remember it, but... look. What more harm can you do?"


Notes:
I disclaim. Alice's POV.


15. Chapter 15

Rating 5/5   Word Count 555   Review this Chapter

“I’ll always be here for you,” he admits. “Bella, it was all a lie. Make the change. Do whatever you want. I don’t have any control over you, they’re right. I gave that up. It’s your choice. I’ll still love you… no matter what.”

You see the words before she can say them, so they don’t shock you… but that of course has no effect on the pain.

“I don’t believe you.”

“Bella…”

“But I’ll make the change. Do it, Carlisle. Right now. Bite me, kill me, change me… I don’t care what the outcome is. Make me forget.”

“The pain, Bella…” he cautions.

She laughs aloud. It is utterly unexpected, a hysterical, unnatural sound that she is not forcing, but nonetheless should never have escaped.

After a few minutes of cackling, she wipes away tears from her face. “Funny little vampire. The pain! You think I don’t know how to… how to…”

“Deal with pain… it’s so much…”

I finish the sentence for her as the hysterics overwhelm again. “Deal with pain. She’s been through more than any transformation could entail. You can’t possibly imagine what she’s been through…”

And the look in his eyes breaks off my train of thought. He positively glares at me. “Yes, Alice. Yes, I can.”

“Were you hurt too? Who hurt you?” she asks, oddly childlike.

“Oh, Bella,” he sighs, kneeling beside her. He strokes her face gently, apparently shocked when she shudders and turns away. “Bella, I’ve never known greater pain than the day I had to leave you.”

“I don’t believe you,” she whispers in a monotone.

Neither do I… well, I know it is no lie, but in her place I wouldn’t put my trust in him. I don’t blame Bella for her reaction.

Screaming and screaming and screaming. You assume it’s the change, but you know what they say. When you assume, you make an ass out of u and me.

You chuckle at your own dark joke. Yes. It’s not the change, not at all.

“I won’t change you,” he mutters fiercely. “I can’t have you live forever.”

She screams. “NO!”

And then is silent. You know she will never speak again…

The same wind-whipped cliff, the same dark tangle of hair, the same falling broken soul. Only this time you aren’t there. You are miles away, seeing, and utterly unable to fix it, to tell her, “No, he loves you, it was all a lie, don’t do it…”

You see her jump, and though you know it will tear your family apart forever, you can’t bring yourself to regret the end to her pain.

“There we go,” I conclude. “Consent. Well, let’s get this done, Carlisle.”

Edward moans. Carlisle comfortingly pats him on the shoulder, while my only reassurance is a glare.

Your own damn fault.

You left her, you broke her heart. Like Emmett, like Rose, like Esme, so torn that only the change could make them live… her wound isn’t physical but it goes just as deep. This is the only way to heal her, and if you don’t like it, Edward Cullen, it’s your own damn fault.