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Deja Vu

or Not on My Watch AU from chapter 3 of New Moon. Bella is taken to Florida with Renee. However, she is even more heart-broken without Jacob Black to cling to. She is sent to an asylum by a distraught Renee. Alice wasn't looking. She'd promised to leave Bella alone. But sometimes the visions come before you ask. She couldn't help it. She sees Bella being sent off and goes to convince Edward she really isn't better off without him. "Because I'm not going to let you do this to her! I know what it's like in there, Edward. Maybe I don't remember it, but... look. What more harm can you do?"

I disclaim. Alice's POV.

19. Chapter 19

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 558   Review this Chapter

“Yes… or rather no. No, I don’t think she can lose her soul, because, Carlisle, I think she’s lost it already.”

It’s true. I know it, absolutely. She is soulless. Empty. “She didn’t lose it, Edward.”

“No, she didn’t. I took it when I left. Bella, my love, if I’d known, if I’d had any idea… I never would have left you.”

This thought is painful to her, apparently. She screams. “DON’T!”
“What? Do you not want me to love you?” He winces as he speaks.

“Don’t make me hope! If I hope… it’ll… it’ll kill me.”

Her voice is so weak and frail. My poor sister. My idiot brother. I could kill him for killing her like this…

Dead. Not just empty, but actually dead… if only she had the strength to move, this would be the future. And the rage she’s feeling now is giving her the strength.

Running. Her hair flailing out behind her, her whole body a wave of unstoppable furious motion. You are faster than her, of course you are, but not by enough, not with her rage and pain twin fantastic motivators.

And she runs, runs, straight into the closest death she can find.

You are anticipating the crash. What don’t you anticipate? And yet still you recoil in shock and horror when you hear the crunch of her bones breaking beneath the Jeep’s wheels…

“Do it now!” I scream.


“You have to do it now!”


I try to explain…

She has to get away. She has to, she can’t live, she can’t she has to die. Please let her die please don’t make her live not like this.

“Edward I love you,” she whispers in a single intonation, like a prayer, like a dream, and she runs.

You follow half-heartedly. You know what will happen. You can’t catch her. You can’t stop her. She’s going to die.

She’s made her mind up about it.

And who are you to take that choice away from her? It’s what she wants… the only thing she wants. She deserves it.

She deserves less pain, not more.

Her hair streams in the cool air of the dark night. You watch the headlights careen down the street, the driver clearly intoxicated. She sees- and she doesn’t care.

The inches close in now. Despite your intent, a word escapes your lips- “Bella! No!”

She turns and smiles at you, a lying mockery of a smile, and you are seeing that and not the car when the impact comes…

“Faster!” I holler at him. “Bite her this instant!”

“I need to hunt first, to get ready… I can’t kill her.”

“Every minute you wait you’re killing her.”

“I can’t lose her. I love her.

These words are the catalyst. The pained form of Bella moves from its huddle on the floor. “How can you lie like that?” she whispers. “How can you lie so much… and why do I still love you?”

The accusation stays in the air. No one can answer it. Her eyes dart around desperately, and she seizes her only opportunity.

Bella stands, and, as I scream, runs.