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Deja Vu

Summary:
or Not on My Watch AU from chapter 3 of New Moon. Bella is taken to Florida with Renee. However, she is even more heart-broken without Jacob Black to cling to. She is sent to an asylum by a distraught Renee. Alice wasn't looking. She'd promised to leave Bella alone. But sometimes the visions come before you ask. She couldn't help it. She sees Bella being sent off and goes to convince Edward she really isn't better off without him. "Because I'm not going to let you do this to her! I know what it's like in there, Edward. Maybe I don't remember it, but... look. What more harm can you do?"


Notes:
I disclaim. Alice's POV.


21. Chapter 21

Rating 3.5/5   Word Count 567   Review this Chapter

There is a moment, a long, horrible, moment, in which I think he isn’t going to stop. He is gone too far. He’s going to kill her, and I can’t stop him. If I move, it will be to sink my teeth into her throat- it is all I can do to stand here and not do anything.

“Carlisle,” I whisper urgently, but he shakes his head…

“Why didn’t you stop him? She didn’t have to die.”

The blond man smiles. It is a smile full of tears. His daughter did not have to die. But he let her. “Because. It was Edward’s decision.”

“He had no right to kill her!”

“She was his mate, Alice, every bit as much as Jasper is yours. It’s his right to choose what he wants…”

“What he wants to do with her? Doesn’t Bella get a say?”

“Bella chose to die, Alice.” His tone is gentle, as always. But the words bite into you.

“Only because he’d already killed her.”

“Would you force him to stay with her?”

“I wouldn’t let him make such a dumb mistake!”
“It was his mistake to make, Alice. His choice. His failing. It isn’t your fault, or his fault, or her fault. It just is.”

You can’t agree with that. “It is his fault.”

“No.” He smiles kindly. “No, it isn’t, Alice. He only did what he had to do. Edward is the way he is… he honestly believes he has no soul.”

“I agree with him,” you growl.

“No, you don’t. You dislike him at the moment. But he’s your brother, and in your heart, Alice, in your soul, you know he was right, that he had every right, that he did exactly what he had to do. That’s what all our choices come down to in the end. We act based on our genetics and our upbringing.”

“You’re wrong, Carlisle.”

“What?”

“Deeply wrong. Oh, on the surface maybe. But we have to act like a murderer is accountable for his crime, like a child or a man knows his actions, like Edward can be blamed.”

He flinches. You are relentless.

“You don’t want to hear it. But it is so true. That’s how you excused changing him, isn’t it? All the terrible things he did weren’t his fault or yours either, because nothing is anyone’s fault, all because of some cause too far back to even trace. But it is nothing more than a fairytale. We have to blame people for what they do, Carlisle, or the world will fall apart. I blame him. I blame him, I blame him, I blame him. He killed her, and it’s no one’s fault but his, and mine, and yours, and hers… but mostly his…”

“Carlisle, please.”

No reaction. I didn’t expect one.

I start to move forward, and then I feel the hunger stirring in me, my throat closing in, the venom pooling in my teeth, burning as I swallow it down my dry throat… I can’t do this. I can’t save her.

Bella screams.

Edward is gone. He is nothing but a dark head attached to her throat, sucking away her life.

I can’t watch this. I am so powerless. And then, the moment ends.