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Deja Vu

or Not on My Watch AU from chapter 3 of New Moon. Bella is taken to Florida with Renee. However, she is even more heart-broken without Jacob Black to cling to. She is sent to an asylum by a distraught Renee. Alice wasn't looking. She'd promised to leave Bella alone. But sometimes the visions come before you ask. She couldn't help it. She sees Bella being sent off and goes to convince Edward she really isn't better off without him. "Because I'm not going to let you do this to her! I know what it's like in there, Edward. Maybe I don't remember it, but... look. What more harm can you do?"

I disclaim. Alice's POV.

24. Chapter 24

Rating 0/5   Word Count 546   Review this Chapter

Three days pass slowly and painfully. I wince with each tick of the clock, each vision- the future does not change. I may not be able to comfort Bella, but I am there with her, at her side.

Screams pierce the air, loud and clear, burning with the sound.

“Shh…” he comforts. But he is not soothing to her- his gentleness isn’t what she needs. She loves him, yes, but not the only way that can get through this pain. He’s as good as her father, yes, but that can’t stop the fact that her agony burns through her veins, sets her on fire.

“Sorry, Carlisle,” she gasps. “I’m trying.”

“You’re doing well. Edward-“

And then the bravery disappears. At the sound of his name, her screams grow louder than they ever were before, fiery and painful, unforgettable in the ferocity of their agony.

“I’m sorry, Bella. But it was… the only way.”

“Don’t be sorry. This is what I wanted, Carlisle, all along- now I can chase him forever. Maybe in a thousand years I can be…” she chokes on her on breath, her monologue freezing as she stiffens, spasms, as her limbs shake and sweat drips down her face. The transformation is strong for a brief while, bad enough that she can’t talk. Then the moment of doubled pain stops. “I can be good enough.”

“You are, Bella. You are.”

“Then why did he leave me?” she accuses. It hangs in the air, a question he can’t answer. Not because he doesn’t know, but because this isn’t his place, his purpose, his job. He’s a doctor and a father, mature, experienced- but he isn’t her love. And only the one she loves can ask recompense for his own terrible failure.

“Bella, it’s not my… I can’t tell you that.”

“Because you don’t want me to hear the truth. Well I know it. I know it, I know it more than I know anything else in this world, it’s the truth, it’s simple fact… he doesn’t love me.”

The blonde, kind man gasps. “Bella…”

“I can shout it to the skies. It doesn’t hurt any worse than just knowing it. He doesn’t love me!”


“Why? I’m just sharing a fact with the nice people. I’m sure they’ll be grateful to know the facts. He DOESN’T LOVE ME!” she hollers, louder than any of her screams.

Your father embraces his child, gently smoothing her hair. “Bella, be quiet, please.”

“He… he doesn’t… he doesn’t love… me…” she sobs. The man comforts her.

“He does.”

“NO! HE DOESN’T!” And she’s screaming again.

Shockingly, your father puts a hand over her mouth, forcing her silent. It is so very unlike him to be violent, ever, at all. You gasp aloud, watching. “Yes, he does.”

Her tears grow louder, hysterical. His eyes are filled with guilt at what he’s done to make her quiet. “I’m sorry, Bella…”

But he isn’t. That much the man has to agree with, that no matter how much she is ignorant of his no-matter-how-genuine love, he doesn’t regret causing this pain.

He still thinks he did right. The fool…