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Deja Vu

Summary:
or Not on My Watch AU from chapter 3 of New Moon. Bella is taken to Florida with Renee. However, she is even more heart-broken without Jacob Black to cling to. She is sent to an asylum by a distraught Renee. Alice wasn't looking. She'd promised to leave Bella alone. But sometimes the visions come before you ask. She couldn't help it. She sees Bella being sent off and goes to convince Edward she really isn't better off without him. "Because I'm not going to let you do this to her! I know what it's like in there, Edward. Maybe I don't remember it, but... look. What more harm can you do?"


Notes:
I disclaim. Alice's POV.


27. Chapter 27

Rating 5/5   Word Count 538   Review this Chapter

Bella sighs and puts her radiant head in her hands. “Alice, I can’t believe that. I can’t believe he would love me…” I can see the pain on her face, the tears she can no longer shed. It isn’t debilitating any longer, the agony. No, now it’s merely torture, merely a sharp harsh pain that doesn’t quite obliterate all else but still torments her with aching hateful hurt.

“Bella, I’m so sorry. I never should have left. Edward told us not to go looking for you, but I can’t believe I listened to him.”

“Why did you?”

“You’re… his mate, Bella. For real, now that you’re a vampire. Forever. You’re meant to be together. If Jazz left me, it wouldn’t be, say, Carlisle’s place to stay with me. Or go with him. It’s not… we have family loyalties, but our strongest loyalty is to our partner. The center of my existence is Jasper. The center of Edward’s existence is…”

“No.”

“What?” I am perplexed by that one little word, that simple denial.

“Don’t lie to me. I can’t stand it. He lied to me, again and again, every time he said I was beautiful, and that he wanted me, and that he wished he could be with me forever…”

“Those weren’t lies, Bella.”

“No,” she whispers. “NO.”

“He loves you more than life itself…”

“No, Alice. Just… don’t, please.”

I bow my head in silence. “All right. I won’t. But when he gets here, he will…”

“Thank you,” she says…

He stops running. His frantic pace slows to a walk, but it is a fast one. His footfalls dash against the ground, his eyes wide, full of anticipation. He holds his jaw tense, full of fury.

He will not grow mad, no matter what has happened to her. It will not be easy, seeing her like this… soulless, cold, empty.

Just like him.

It will not be easy, because he’ll have to admit two things.

First, he will have to release the stubborn belief in his own damnedness. He will have to let go, to admit that there is a chance he can go to heaven too, or believe his angel is damned, and you are certain that he will not be able to stand that thought. He will thus have to restructure his own stubborn beliefs.

And in doing that, he has only one choice. He has to face what he did to her.

She was already damned, doomed, trapped in a body with no soul. He took that soul from her when he left, reduced her to nothing, and he will have to face it.

He broke her heart in so many ways, and he has yet to admit it to himself. He still thinks he did the right thing.

When he sees her, and knows she had to be changed, he will have to admit he did not.

He walks up the steps. The doorbell rings…

I smile. “Well, you don’t have to wait very long to discuss it. Edward’s here!”

She freezes as the doorbell rings.