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Deja Vu

or Not on My Watch AU from chapter 3 of New Moon. Bella is taken to Florida with Renee. However, she is even more heart-broken without Jacob Black to cling to. She is sent to an asylum by a distraught Renee. Alice wasn't looking. She'd promised to leave Bella alone. But sometimes the visions come before you ask. She couldn't help it. She sees Bella being sent off and goes to convince Edward she really isn't better off without him. "Because I'm not going to let you do this to her! I know what it's like in there, Edward. Maybe I don't remember it, but... look. What more harm can you do?"

I disclaim. Alice's POV.

29. Chapter 29

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 537   Review this Chapter

Well, that didn’t go as well as I’d hoped. However, I can hold out a little hope. Bella couldn’t be expected to give up right away, not after the strength of the way in which she’d internalized the reality of his abandonment. The one thing she believes, above anything else in the world, is that Edward never had and never could love her.

She can’t change that so easily, not as easily as we changed her.

But Edward won’t give up on a moment’s notice, either. No, he really loves her, really needs her.

He’ll keep trying…

“I love you.”

“I don’t believe you,” she whispers.

“Why not?”

“If I believe you, you’ll just hurt me again, Edward. I can’t trust you. I can’t let you make me believe this stupid lie so that when you leave I can die all over again!”

His eyes darken, not the color, but the soul behind them, in pain. “Bella, I’ll never leave you again. I don’t expect you to forgive me. I certainly don’t expect you to love me. But I will be here, waiting, hoping we can be at least friends after a while…”

“I am not going to be friends with you.”

“I didn’t expect it…”

“I couldn’t stand that. Being in your presence, looking at you, being so close to you, and knowing… it would…”

His fists clench, and the dark eyes lighten with hope, filling the room with the strength of it, though he does try to hold back the feeling. “What? You want to be… Bella, is there any chance, even a shadow of a prayer, that you still love me?”

You, watching this exchange, realize something. He is truly an idiot. He doesn’t just have excessively poor judgment (re: leaving the love of his life) but he can’t see the ridiculously clear evidence before him.

The girl clearly shares your low opinion of his intellect. She laughs, a monosyllabic little bark of a laugh. “Naw. I don’t even like you. That’s why I was hospitalized as catatonic because of the sheer strength of my grief response. I mean, that makes sense, and everything. What kind of idiotic question is that?”

“Please, Bella. Please answer,” he practically begs, and she was always a sucker for that, for the way he flutters his eyelashes at her like a teenage girl trying to flirt her way out of trouble.

“I love you. I always have. I always will. Whether you like it or not, I love you. No matter how hard you try to break me of it, I love you! I’ll never love anyone else. So come play your little games with my heart, but know I adore you, and you… you kill me when you leave…”

Guilt flashes across his face. And then something stronger. “I love you, you know. And that’s all I want to hear. I left you, Bella, because I didn’t want to hurt you. You deserved a real life, and you couldn’t have that with me there, holding you back.”

“Couldn’t live without you, either.”

“I’m so sorry,” he whispers…