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Dreaming of the Breaking Dawn

Summary:
Post-eclipse; Bella and Edward and Bella's first demand. Lots of teasing, a little turn of the tables, and then...well, you will have to read it... The became much more than I originally meant for it to...it has become a fluffy story of the last days of Bella's life in Forks.... COMPELTE


Notes:
I don’t usually like post-eclipse stories, I would prefer to write Edward's point of view from something I have already read, but this just came to me. I have it rated Adult now, but I really don't think it will ever get to that point, I want to keep it in the same voice and I could never see Stephenie writing anything graphic...plus, the story isn't there yet...they may not...=o)


15. Reason

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1803   Review this Chapter

Reason

Edward, Emmett and I went out to meet Esme and Rosalie when we heard their car pull into the garage. Edward, always the gentleman, wanted to be sure to help them bring in their purchases and Emmett was just eager to see Rosalie. As we helped them unload the vehicle, with no one allowing me to carry anything, Esme relayed to us that Carlisle had found a job near our new home.

“He is very excited to be able to go right back to work after we settle into the house. They were in need of a doctor right away,” she said with a smile. “He will be starting as a first year resident so he won’t have to go through all of the internship silliness this time.” Edward had explained to me that he was used to starting all over with each move, but would prove himself to be a more than adequate doctor and most of the time quickly became one of the most respected in his hospital. I knew this was true; everyone loved Dr. Cullen in Forks. He would be sorely missed.

We were in the house now, putting away the newly acquired supplies until they were needed. I watched as Esme put everything in its place, “Edward, dear, could you and Emmett please bring down the boxes from Carlisle office? We will just put them in the entry way for now; the service will pick them up later in the week.” Edward nodded, as Rosalie and Emmett came into the room.

“Hey, Bella, would you mind coming with me while I take a look at the cars to make sure they are in good shape for the move?” Rosalie asked; her voice full of pretense. I knew the cars were in better condition than they had any right to be, Rosalie was finally going to make good on her promise she made at our wedding. I smiled, knowing I couldn’t avoid it forever, I was ready.

Edward looked at me warily, “you don’t have to go with her if you don’t wish” he whispered. Rosalie shot him a nasty look. Emmett had moved up to the office, the conversation and thoughts too serious for his liking.

“No, it is fine. Besides, wouldn’t you love it if she can talk me out of it…”I shook my head at him, “Don’t get your hopes up.” The last part was directed towards both of them. Edward swiftly kissed me on the cheek, Rosalie smiled at him apologetically.

I followed Rosalie out the front door, trying to keep pace with her graceful stride. She slowed as we made it to the far side of the large garage; she was going to at least make the effort to look at the cars even if that wasn’t her real intent on bringing me out here. As she opened the door and opened the hood of Esme small SUV she stole a quick glance in my direction. She did not say a word while she stared into the inter workings of the vehicle. I leaned against Emmett’s Jeep, trying to look relaxed.

“Bella,” she sighed, finally breaking the silence. “You can still change your mind. No one would be angry or upset with you. Not even Edward.” Her voice was soft and sincere.

I closed my eyes; I had rehearsed this conversation in my head many times. I knew what I wanted to say. But now, with the actual event being so close I could not find the words. “Rosalie, I appreciate your point of view, I even understand it, but I have made my decision, I want this.”

A flash of anger crossed her perfect features. “You can’t know what you are asking for. Edward should not even be entertaining this, or Carlisle.” I took a step back. She looked down, closing the hood of the SUV. “I’m sorry, I am not angry at you. It’s just that you have so much, and you are willing to give it all up for nothing.”

Now I was angry. How could she say this? “Nothing? Rosalie, Edward is my husband, I love him. I have nothing without him. I know this, and that is why I am doing this, for him, even if he doesn’t think he wants it.” I was being very brave today, but screaming at Rosalie probably was a bad idea.

She narrowed her eyes at me and taking a deep breath, began calmly, “Bella, I am not saying love is nothing, love is important. Trust me, I know, but you don’t have to give up your life to love Edward, he would love you no matter what.”

She paused but I did not say anything, still trying to get my breathing under control. “Bella, we all love you, you know that, even if I am not very good at showing it. My husband shows it enough for the both of us,” she snorted at this. “We take you as you are, human. You are Edward’s wife, that much is done, but you don’t have to give up everything else. Humanity, family, life.”

I shook my head again, a look of disgust on my face, “and what, grow old and die, while you stay young and perfect forever? Look like your grandmother, great grandmother…” I shuddered at this. I had to remind myself that this conversation was only for Rosalie’s benefit, it did not change my decision. I would not be that old lady, my Gran, I had seen in my dreams so long ago, standing next to the perpetually perfect seventeen year old creature that I loved.

“Bella, you are ridiculous. It just proves you are too young, too naïve. You give up everything for love without considering the consequences. You worry about something as insignificant as age, but do you even think what it really means? What you are really giving up…if you stay human, you will have sixty or more years to be in love with Edward and to be alive…to be with Charlie and Renee, to breathe, to feel something other than a constant thirst in the back of your throat. You do this…”

I bit my bottom lip trying to suppress the angry tears in my eyes. “What? If I do this I have my love for eternity, I have this family forever, I have everything…forever. I am willing to give up a few things for forever…the loss will hurt but in the end it will be better. I am not stupid, I know everything that I am giving up…I knew it when I made the decision…even before I made the decision to marry him. I gave up possibilities. But I gave them up for him. The possibilities did not matter when I knew I could not survive without Edward.”

“I don’t think we will agree on this…” she said, almost to herself.

“You’re right,” I bit back, “you would not have chosen this for yourself…but you are not me. You feel you had another destiny, a chance at being happy as a human. I know there is nothing else for me, only Edward and our life together, being with him forever is my destiny.”

“No, being a monster is not a destiny someone runs towards; you run away – fast – and don’t look back.” She said this so low I had to strain to catch it.

I laughed now, it was not funny, but I could not help myself. “Rosalie, haven’t you heard, I am not like other people. I run towards monsters and whatever danger might be lurking around the corner. I have no sense of self preservation, so my husband tells me.”

She rolled her eyes and sighed. “I am very aware of your…tendencies. It doesn’t mean you have to continue in that vein, you could change your course…” she trailed off knowing what she was saying was impossible. “Bella, I will never agree with your decision, or accept it…I will probably hold it against you for a very long time, but I am not sure how else to reason with you.”

I smiled, thinking I had won the argument, or at least ended it, “Another one of my many traits… unreasonableness.” I winced and added, “Stubborn” I hated that adjective.

“That you are.” she glowered at me and continued moving from car to car, hardly glancing at them, knowing that the charade she had lured me out here with was unimportant now.

“Hey ladies!” Emmett’s big voice boomed through the garage. He walked to Rosalie and pulled her into a tight hug. I couldn’t help but smile at my big brother as he tried to break the tension in the room. “Rose, are you giving Bella a hard time?” He pulled her away from him and shook his head in mock disappointment.

Rosalie huffed at him. “I am just trying to reason with her…which obviously isn’t possible.”

“Rosalie, are you admitting defeat? Wow, Bella, you are very good. I have never known Rose to give up…” he smiled at me in admiration. “You will have to teach me…” I chuckled softly. Rosalie seemed to be focusing her anger on him now.

“Emmett,” her voice full of irritation, “don’t. This is serious. She is making a mistake and I seem to be the only one who can see it, the only reasonable person in this family.”

“Ha! You forget Edward…between the two of you and your opinions…reasonable…” he just shook his head.

Rosalie was standing facing him, her hands on her hips, still impossibly beautiful even with the sour look on her face. “Yeah, well, he is still planning on going through with it,” she scowled

“That’s because her loves her and trusts her decision…they are grown ups Rose, they know what they are doing,” he was oddly serious in his thoughts. “It’s not like they haven’t gone through enough to get where they are.” He looked over at me, his soft apologetic grin slowly being replaced with his normal goofy smile. “Besides, it will be more fun when she is a vampire like us…” he looked at me again, “though perhaps not as entertaining.” He pulled Rosalie closer and kissed her, trying to defuse her anger.

As I worked to look away from their display, I was suddenly aware of a new presence in the room as two strong cold hands wrapped around my waist. How long had he been here? “Hello, love, everything all right?” he asked as he pressed his lips against my neck. I could only nod, his touch leaving me breathless. Would that ever stop happening? I was not sure I wanted it to.

“He has to change her!” Emmett suddenly said, “She will fall over dead one of these days when her heart doesn’t start again after he kisses her!” He was already laughing at his own joke. I heard a small growl building in Edward’s throat. I grabbed his hand to calm him, knowing Emmett might be right.