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Dreaming of the Breaking Dawn

Summary:
Post-eclipse; Bella and Edward and Bella's first demand. Lots of teasing, a little turn of the tables, and then...well, you will have to read it... The became much more than I originally meant for it to...it has become a fluffy story of the last days of Bella's life in Forks.... COMPELTE


Notes:
I don’t usually like post-eclipse stories, I would prefer to write Edward's point of view from something I have already read, but this just came to me. I have it rated Adult now, but I really don't think it will ever get to that point, I want to keep it in the same voice and I could never see Stephenie writing anything graphic...plus, the story isn't there yet...they may not...=o)


17. Trust

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 2110   Review this Chapter

Trust

Two days. That was all I had left with her until I had to do the unthinkable. It had nothing to do with not wanting to change her, not any more. I had accepted it, wanted it even. My angel, with me for eternity, I could think of nothing that would make me happier. She was my everything. But how could I puncture her beautiful pale skin with my teeth? How could I let the monster near her, even for a moment? Her blood repelled me now, only because of what it meant, but could I be sure the monster could be controlled when the heavenly taste infiltrated my body? I shuddered at the very idea that I could hurt her.

“Edward?” She snapped me from my thoughts.

I smiled at her, trying to push the images from my mind. “Yes, love?”

She studied my face carefully before she spoke. “Is the thought of my being changed really that bad?” her voice was full of pain that stabbed at my still heart.

We had been alone now for several days, a honeymoon of sorts. We had come to the small secluded cabin alone, the family giving us some time before that day. Bella had been as elated by the prospect of having five uninterrupted days and nights together as I had been. But Carlisle was due to arrive on the sixth to oversee her transformation, and as the days passed we both had become more and more introspective. I was surprised to find that Bella had presumed my reticent behavior indicated unhappiness. I never wanted my actions to make her feel like I did not want her, she already had enough trouble understanding how beautiful and special she was to me, I could not let my mood further her anxiety.

“Beautiful Bella,” I began, pulling her warm unclothed body against me, burying my face into her lovely brown hair, “nothing could make me happier than to have you forever. I told you, I love you and if this is what you truly want; then I want it too.”

Her lips pressed against my neck softly, their warmth burning my skin. “Then why do you look so miserable?”

I didn’t want to scare her with my worries; I wanted her to trust me. I laughed at this thought. She trusted me more than I trusted myself, she always had. Shaking my head I tried to explain, “I am just…nervous.”

“Nervous?” the sadness in her voice was like a knife.

“Stop it!” I laughed despite myself. “I am not at all nervous about us, silly girl. I am nervous about…about not being able to control it.”

Now she laughed as if I had just told a joke. “All of the brooding over this again! Do you realize how much time you spend worrying about hurting me, about you being a monster? It’s ridiculous! And you call me absurd!” She was sitting up now, looking at me with amusement. How could she think this was at all funny? I looked up at her, only to be taken aback by her beauty. The flawless pale skin of her flat stomach, the soft arc of her breasts, her inviting neck, the full lips now in a perfect pout, her eyes…

Suddenly aware of my gaze, a blush rushed to her cheeks and she pulled the blanket around her body, but her smile remained. “Edward, haven’t you had enough? Have you not learned yet? You couldn’t be with me because you wanted my blood. You had to leave me to keep me safe. We couldn’t make love because you would hurt me. None of it was true. We are married, I was worthless without you and still had nasty homicidal vampires after me, and the sex…” she raised her eyebrow slightly with a smirk. She was so beautiful.

I laughed now, her logic was perfectly imperfect, but who was I to argue. “Okay, fine…I will give you all of that. But this is different. I have to hurt you when I do this, I have to unleash a part of my nature I have worked so hard to protect you from. What if I can’t control it?”

“You controlled it when you had to save me after James…and you said you didn’t want to my blood anymore, that it hurt to think about, right?” She made it sound like I could decide what the evil inside of me wanted.

I closed my eyes, trying to formulate an answer that might make her understand the gravity of what she was saying, “Bella, I am not in control of that side of me, not really. My being – my soul, if you will – doesn’t want to hurt you. The animal inside of me, it doesn’t care about that, it just wants blood…”

“Carlisle will be here,” she shrugged. I shook my head at her in disbelief. “You know I trust you. Carlisle trusts you, if he didn’t he would say so. You are the only one who doesn’t know you can do this.” She leaned over and took my face into her hands, “For me…believe you can do this, please? I need to know you are confident. Trust me when I say I trust you.”

“Bella…”

“Please?” She pulled her lips to mine, the passion and trust so strong I couldn’t catch my unneeded breath. How could I argue with her? I pulled her to me, deepening the kiss. My tongue moved against her mouth, begging for entrance and she obliged. We were so close; there was no reason to hold back now. The danger was irrelevant when I would be introducing the venom into her blood in such a short time. I released her mouth only to let her catch her breath but I never let my lips move from her body.

I kissed her jaw, from her chin to her ear, taking my time. I pulled my lips from her ear reluctantly and whispered, “Anything for you…I trust you with everything.” I could feel the smile on her face.

I quickly pushed my mouth against hers, resuming our forbidden kiss. The warmth from her breath and the caress of her tongue against mine were intoxicating. I could think of nothing but her. Everything in that moment was about her. Nothing else existed.

She broke away from me too soon and fell onto her back beside me, panting as if she had run a marathon. I was working to catch my breath as well. I tilted my head to look at her, my beautiful bride, lying there, her naked body moving rhythmically as she fought to find her breath. Again, I found my eyes taking her entire form in greedily. It was a testament to heaven that such perfection existed. A sigh escaped my mouth as I thought of her.

She looked at me dubiously, catching me devouring her body with my eyes. The blood rushed to her cheeks and she moved quickly to cover herself but I threw the blankets out of her reach before she had a chance to catch them. “You’re not cold are you?” I asked her, giving her the slightest smile. She shook her head slightly, the crimson of her cheeks becoming warmer as I brushed them with my knuckles.

“It’s not very fair though,” she said gesturing at my body.

I smiled again, knowing that she was indicating that I was partially clothed in my boxers. “I suppose you are right…would you like your under things?” I asked her teasingly.

She hesitated, I could see her struggling to say something but she could not get it out. I waited. “Umm…” I began to think the rose color in her cheeks would never fade, “I can think of a better idea,” she finally muttered.

“Oh…?” I looked into her eyes, willing her to tell me what she wanted.

She giggled quietly now, still nervous about her intent, but I wasn’t giving in. She didn’t say anything but slowly reached over and grabbed my hand in hers and pulled it up to her face. My palm stroked her cheek softly as she guided it slowly against her skin, trailing it down her face, to her chin, against her collar bone until she rested it on the soft curve of her breast. I never broke eye contact with her as she did this, but I let my hand rest against her body lightly caressing the sensitive skin of her breast. I had touched her many times before but somehow this felt more intimate. She closed her eyes and said my name so quietly that I had to strain to be sure she said it.

“Bella,” I whispered; the need in my voice heavy. “I love you.”

She closed the small distance between our bodies, straddling me, my back still against the headboard, and kissed me. She pushed her hips against mine as my tongue explored her mouth. The response from my body was immediate and undeniable as I felt her desire against me.

She smiled against my mouth and pulled back enough to speak. “Edward, now wouldn’t this be easier if you would have just taken them off…” I didn’t give her a chance to say anything else before I move just enough to remove my shorts and placed her back against me.

She blushed again as she moaned my name when our bodies met. I moved my lips against hers; taking full advantage of the time I had with her like this. I was overjoyed at us being together forever, but the warmth of her skin and her fragile nature would be gone soon; these things that once scared me beyond comprehension were at this moment a gift. Nothing seemed impossible when she was with me, everything seemed right. The lion and lamb…who would have thought?

Bella moved her body above mine, our lips locked in a passionate kiss, our bodies wrapped in a tender embrace. While allowing her catch her breath I moved my mouth to her breast, tasting her skin, letting my tongue trace the perfect arch. I felt her warmth around me, like fire. Her gasps and moans fueling the ecstasy my body was in. She lifted her torso from me, so she was again straddling my lap, moving her hips hard against mine, feeling our mutual yearning, her eyes rolling into her head as her breath hitched slightly. I missed her skin against me so I pulled her back, catching her lips once again with my own.

I rolled us over, her legs weaving themselves around my thighs as she fought to stay close. I carefully pressed my weight against her, feeling every movement and sensation as our bodies were joined. Our fervent pace slowed slightly as we came close to release, neither of us ready for it to end.

I pulled myself from her lips to look into her eyes. She opened them and stared into mine. I couldn’t tear myself from the deep pools of brown, when I looked into them I could see our love, our future, eternity, and I never wanted to look away. As I watched her, our bodies began to move slightly faster again as they neared the edge. But I did not close my eyes, nor did she as we climaxed together. Every bit of worry and reluctance had left my body while watching her face fill with satisfaction and happiness. I knew as long as I had her everything would be amazing.

I pulled the blanket back up so she could wrap it around her body, knowing that my body would have caused a chill against hers. She smiled at me and sighed in contentment. I laid my head against her chest, listening to her heartbeat, enjoying the steady rhythm and the sweet smell of her body.

She began to run her fingers through my hair and hummed in thought. I looked up at her, knowing she had something on her mind. “I bet you will be glad when you don’t have to be so careful…” she said, not sounding troubled, just reflective.

I pulled myself away from her so that I could look into her eyes, lying next to her, our heads sharing a pillow. “Love, I will always be careful with you. But making love takes very little effort on my part, even though you are so very breakable.” I kissed the tip of her nose playfully as a grin spread across her gorgeous lips.

We stayed in bed for the entire day. Talking, laughing, and making love. Everything was perfect. I didn’t permit myself to think about anything but her, afraid my new resolve might waiver if I gave it the opportunity. Everything would be great. Our lives will be blissful. Our love, always pure. Nothing would convince me otherwise, not today, not ever.