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Dreaming of the Breaking Dawn

Summary:
Post-eclipse; Bella and Edward and Bella's first demand. Lots of teasing, a little turn of the tables, and then...well, you will have to read it... The became much more than I originally meant for it to...it has become a fluffy story of the last days of Bella's life in Forks.... COMPELTE


Notes:
I don’t usually like post-eclipse stories, I would prefer to write Edward's point of view from something I have already read, but this just came to me. I have it rated Adult now, but I really don't think it will ever get to that point, I want to keep it in the same voice and I could never see Stephenie writing anything graphic...plus, the story isn't there yet...they may not...=o)


4. Situation

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1517   Review this Chapter

Situation

It was a great way to start the day, wrapped around my husband as he ran through the trees; feeling him under me, his breath never heavy or lost. It had been my suggestion today. I cannot even remember why this had bothered me so much the first time. It felt free, unreal, like so much in my life now.

My heart fluttered at the thought of where we were going, what today meant. This trip seemed to take longer today than normal. I guess that was my nerves creeping back.

Edward was prepared...more than necessary really, though I appreciated the blankets; one to sit on, one in case I was cold. I would be grateful for that one later I thought slightly embarrassed.

"You have to eat Bella. I knew you wouldn't have eaten breakfast since I wasn't there this morning, since you do not even leave our room if I am out." He argued when I reminded him we did not come to our meadow to have lunch. He shoved the sandwich he had brought me across the blanket. He was just stalling.

"I'm fine Edward. I don't have to eat three times a day!" Enough of this, I knew what I was going to do.

I, quickly, though only as quick as a human can, pulled myself over to Edward and sat in his lap, leaning my head against his shoulder. Closing the small distance that had separated us made me less anxious. We sat like this for some time. I let my mind wonder, thinking about everything that was happening; everything that had happened since I met Edward.

Love had happened; danger, hurt, death (not literally, but almost), worry, a wedding, a family. All of these things have lead to this moment. I appreciated that, all of it had to happen for us to be this happy, even the hurt, I knew that now. I will love him for eternity, I hope he realized that. I hope he wouldn't grow tired of me. No, he said that it isn't possible, I have to believe that. We had vowed.

The thought of our vows brought my mind to our wedding. Emmett had done a good job, verses about our souls being bound for eternity, our lives intertwined; only me and the Cullen's truly understanding the enormity of his words. Edward made these vows to me again that evening, reciting every word with perfect recollection, assuring me that he meant every word but also assuring me that Emmett had found them or wrote them himself without help from Edward. Emmett had been through a lot of weddings in his time so I knew he had a lot to draw from.

"I could sit her forever..." I finally said, realizing I had been holding my breath. How long had we been sitting here?

"Me too" he replied. I felt his mouth against my ear as he kissed me gently. I was slightly surprise he was being so intimate, he was almost dead set against this, but he knew he had promised. He was not going to go back on the promise. I leaned my head back as he kissed me.

When he reached my lips he spun me around in his lap and kissed my hard. Before I realized it he was under me, pulling me close, his hands on my waist. I moved under his arms, my intentions made clear by my body. I pressed against him as hard as I could. I felt his body respond to me and his arms tighten against my waist, just a little too tight, nothing new, but enough I had to say something. "Too tight Edward," I smiled, glad he was losing himself a little in the moment.

It was fast, but I saw a look of worry cross his beautiful face and then his body stiffened beneath me. He must have misunderstood, he thought he was hurting me, this was his worse fear. I tried to soothe him, "Don't be silly! You, Alice, Emmett, Jac-, so many of you vampires, have tried to crush me with a hug!" I hadn't meant to say Jacobs name, he just always came to mind when bone breaking hugs were involved. I saw what I thought was hurt in his eyes; I hadn't meant to hurt him, not today, not ever.

After a pause, he rolled to his side bringing me gently to the blanket facing him. "Bella, we were just kissing, something we have done hundreds of times, and I lost my wits," - about time! - "what happens when we are doing something we have not done before, something that I want so badly?" He couldn't want it as badly as I did. I didn't say this to him, it might hurt him again.

I searched his eyes to see if he felt that he had tried and failed. I didn't see resolve so I pulled his face to mine and whispered, "Guess we will find out." I was brave today; I wanted this more than anything at the moment.

For a moment he seemed to relax beside me. He pulled me into a soft embrace and slowly pushed my back to the blanket and hovered above me, barley making contact with my body. I reached around his neck, wrapping my fingers in his copper hair and pulled him against me.

The kiss was deep and felt dangerous, both of our mouths slightly opened, our lips pressing hard against each other. His cold tongue traced the shape of my lips eagerly, leaving a blazing path behind. I moved my hands between us slowly, cautiously, waiting for him to pull away. He did not. He helped me unbutton and pull his pale blue shirt from his body quicker than I had hoped.

His lips against my neck now I felt my body reacting to every touch of his lips. My mind was racing. I did not make any unexpected movements, timing everything so that this calm and sensual experience would not end. My fingers lingering on his chest, feeling his perfect body, I realize the tension present in him. I recognized that his hands were not on me, they were hard against the ground, the strain of holding himself up apparent. I had just thought he had relaxed and was enjoying this.

I decided to try one more time as I slid my hands to his waist just above his jeans. He froze.

Every part of me resisted but I pulled away from his taut lips on my collar bone and searched his eyes. I adjusted myself and he rolled us on our sides again. His eyes filled with fear, worry. I hated this, seeing him like this, not enjoying what should be a perfect experience. An experience I thought we had both been looking forward to, even him, beneath his concern of hurting me. Could I have been so wrong, he wanted to wait, he had told me that. Maybe he had wanted to wait until I was a vampire because I would be more desirable to him physically once I had changed. His eyes were far away from the meadow, miles away from this situation.

He seemed to become less apprehensive as I looked into his eyes. I resolved I would not give up, not yet.

I pushed his back against the blanket. I wanted to alleviate him from his worry, if that is what it was. I laid my hand against his cheek, my palm hot against his cold skin. Slowly I moved my hand against his neck, kissing him softly where my hand had been. I repeated this against his neck and collarbone and then to his perfect chest. The tension never left his form.

I moved up to kiss his lips again as I began to make my decision. This was the hardest part I reminded myself, just make the decision and it will be easy after that. I kissed him hard, wanting to feel him melt beneath my lips as I had every time he ever kissed me. He didn't. As my kiss became more urgent, hard, he only became more rigid. He was in pain, not physically I didn't think, but he wasn't enjoying this. I didn't want this to be something I forced on him, something he didn't want.

What kind of way was that to start a life with him? This was his first time too; he deserved to want it as much as I did. He didn't now, not while I was human. It was too hard for him, that is what I decided, not that he didn't want me, that it was just too difficult for him and the worry, which I felt was silly, was still too much. This wasn't going to happen, not now. We had eternity, no hurry.

I rolled onto my back, suppressing a sigh. Turning my head to him and smiling as genuinely as I could, I whispered, "we tried."