Gone

Alone. That word sent flutters of pain into my dead heart. But it was true, and I would need to accept it. I had lost the most important person ever, and I would need to learn to live with it. He was gone now.

I think I've already lost you

I think you're already gone

I think I'm finally scared now

You think I'm weak

But I think you're wrong

I wasn’t weak now, though. I was just as strong as him, maybe stronger. Since I was a newborn, I had extra strength.

I think you're already leaving

Feels like your hand is on the door

I thought this place was an empire

But now I'm relaxed

I can't be sure

I was sure of one thing. He had left me. I had lost him. All because I had been a boring human at the time. And he was perfect in every way. Beautiful, kind, passionate, smart, talented, strong, athletic….

I think you're so mean

I think we should try

I think I could need

This in my life

And I think I'm just scared

I think too much

I know this is wrong it's a problem I'm dealing

I could find him. I could try to make him see me again. Maybe this time he would love me. I was a vampire now, not the weak and frail person I had been. I was strong and beautiful now.

If you're gone maybe it's time to come home

There's an awful lot of breathing room

But I can hardly move

I was a rock, stuck in place. The pain was becoming so strong…

If you're gone baby you need to come home

'Cuz there's a little bit of something me

In everything you

My only home was with him. I knew that, and my coven knew that. Even if I stayed with them, I would feel lost. Becka had the ability to go wherever she wanted in seconds. She could help me.

I bet you're hard to get over

I bet the room just won't shine

I bet my hands I can stay here

I bet you need more than you mind

Everything was so dark now without him. I couldn’t see the real beauty around me without him. My eyesight was perfect, but I was blind.

I think you're so mean

I think we should try

I think I could need

This in my life

I think I'm just scared

That I know too much

I can't relate and that's a problem

I'm feeling

I couldn’t feel, either. I lost my emotions to the pain that became my one reliable companion. I was no longer a book easy to read. I was a blank diary.

If you're gone maybe it's time to come home

There's an awful lot of breathing room

But I can hardly move

If you're gone baby you need to come home

'Cuz there's a little bit of something me

In everything you

In him there was everything I cared about. He was the thing that kept me from just disappearing forever. His face kept me tethered to this life.

I think you're so mean

I think we should try

I think I could need

This in my life

And I think I'm just scared

I think too much

I know this is wrong it's a problem I'm dealing

I couldn’t do it though. He was my everything, and I couldn’t cause him any pain. That would be too much.

If you're gone maybe it's time to come home

There's an awful lot of breathing room

But I can hardly move

If you're gone baby you need to come home

'Cuz there's a little bit of something me

In everything you

I would have to just move on. It could take one hundred years, it could take one thousand. It could never happen, even. I wouldn’t hurt him, though. I wouldn’t show him that he was my everything. As long as he was happy, I would go on. Even if he was gone.