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Drive Me To Distraction

Edward invites Bella to watch a movie at his house, but drives her to the point of distraction - and takes great pleasure in doing so. After enlisting the aid of the rest of his siblings, Bella decides it's time to give Edward a taste of his own medicine.

Thank you to cinnamon_kisses for the beta. Takes place during the summer between "Twilight" and "New Moon."

1. Drive Me To Distraction

Rating 5/5   Word Count 3899   Review this Chapter

In hindsight, it was all Alice's fault, really.

The sun was shining as Edward and I spent a glorious summer afternoon in our meadow together.

I sighed. "I don't ever want to leave. Can we just stay like this forever?"

Edward's answer was to tighten his arms around me.

The weather made the decision for us. A loud crash of thunder broke through the previously perfect weather, and dark grey clouds quickly moved to cover the sun.

I glared up at the sky. "Stupid rain clouds," I muttered.

Edward chuckled. "Why don't we go back to the car before the rain starts?" He stood up, then offered me a hand, which I took in my own, his touch making my heart skip embarrassingly. He grinned. "Would you like to come back to my house for the remainder of the afternoon? I'm sure that Alice would love to see you. I think she and Emmett were planning on watching a movie."

"Sure!" I said cheerfully, biting back a groan of protest as Edward slung me onto his back. I still hated traveling his way through the forest. "Nothing too scary or too sappy, I hope."

Edward laughed. "Knowing Emmett, it's another horrendously inaccurate vampire movie."

"A vampire movie?" I asked, incredulous.

"He gets a kick out of them. Now, close your eyes." I did as he asked, and soon, I felt the familiar rocking of his body moving along the forest floor, faster than any being should have a right to move. Eventually, we came to a stop, and Edward pulled me to his front before setting me down on my feet. Just in time, it seemed - the rain began to fall, slow but steady, and Edward tugged my hand towards the car. I jumped in on the passenger side, and we were speeding off towards his house. A twenty minute ride took less than ten minutes.

"You know," I started as I quickly walked towards the shelter of his porch. I let him see the playfulness in my gaze. "You could think about driving the speed limit every once in a while."

"Now, where would the fun be in that?" He answered back, his eyes dazzling me into incomprehension. My breath caught in my throat.

"Breathe, Bella," Alice said, and I took a breath, and then blushed. I hadn't even realized that she'd opened the door to let us in.

"Hello, Alice," Edward said, smiling mischievously.

Alice rolled her eyes. "Well, don't just stand there, you two. Bella could catch a cold, and Emmett is complaining that he wants to watch Louis fight Lestat."

Edward groaned. "Interview With The Vampire again? Emmett," he said as soon as we entered the living room. Emmett looked up from where he was sitting Indian style on the floor and grinned. "We own hundreds of DVDs, and you choose this one? I'm surprised you can't recite it by now."

"Bless the alligator. His blood helped. Been on the diet of the blood of snakes, toads, and all the putrid life of the Mississippi," Emmett quoted. Alice threw a pillow from the couch at him. He caught it and laughed. She snatched the pillow from his hands and propped it against the couch so she could sit comfortably on the floor. "Oh, come on, Edward," Emmett continued his needling. "I bet Bella wouldn't mind watching it again."

"I've never even seen Interview With The Vampire," I said, sitting down on the couch.

Edward sat down next to me, and pulled me into his lap. "Now you've done it," he whispered against my ear. I stared at him quizzically.

Emmett gasped theatrically and I jumped, startled, turning back towards him. "Never seen - sacrilege! Blasphemy!" I giggled. Edward rolled his eyes.

Alice slapped him in the chest with yet another pillow. "Just start the movie, Emmett, and let Bella decide for herself if this is really ‘quality cinema.’"

"It is quality cinema; you all just have no taste," Emmett grumbled, and I laughed as he pressed play and shut the lights.

The first twenty minutes passed by with hilarity. Emmett's mouth moved along with the actors, and Alice and I fought back laughter as Edward mimicked him behind his back. Eventually, Emmett noticed, and I had to jump from Edward's lap as Emmett tackled him to the floor. The two of them wrestled for a few minutes before Alice finally pushed them apart with a sigh.

"Now, now boys," she said sarcastically. "Play nice."

Edward threw Alice a dark look. Emmett let out a "Hmph," of displeasure before sinking back to the floor, muttering something about having to rewind, and picking up the remote. I simply laughed at the entire situation.

"Are you enjoying yourself?" Edward asked, and I sniggered, settling myself back into his lap.

"Very much so."

Edward's fingers ran in maddening lines up and down my arm, and I could barely suppress the shiver that ran up my spine at his touch. "I'm glad," he whispered.

I fought valiantly to pay attention once Emmett restarted the movie, but Edward's hands continued their exploration of my skin, and I knew that it was a lost cause. I also knew that I couldn't stop my heart from beating wildly in my chest, and the realization that Alice and Emmett could probably hear it as well made me blush, embarrassed.

Edward chuckled next to my ear as if hearing my thoughts, even though I knew he couldn't, and shifted me in his lap so that he could lay a kiss on my neck. I closed my eyes, putty in his arms.

"Honestly, Edward!" Alice's voice snapped me out of my trance, and I blushed again at the knowledge in her eyes as she stared at us.

Edward was unrepentant as he answered back, "Yes?"

Alice narrowed her eyes at both of us. "You brought her over here to watch a movie, and then you drive her to the point of distraction. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you did it on purpose."

"Maybe," Edward shot back, a grin sliding across his face, getting wider at the incredulous look I shot him in return.

Her eyes glazed over for just a moment, so quickly that I don't think Edward got a chance to see what she had seen in her mind. The grin that came over her face was feral. "Edward," Alice said, rising up off the floor and gracefully throwing herself down on the couch next to us. "Dear, naive Edward. Remember this moment. Think of it often." She patted him on the shoulder before sliding back down to sit next to Emmett.

I wasn't the only one who was staring at Alice, completely and utterly confused.

Emmett looked about ready to burst. "What the hell was that all about?"

Alice just smiled serenely and turned up the volume on the movie, effectively ending the conversation.


As Edward drove me back to my house that night, I couldn't help but wonder at his sister’s actions. "What exactly was Alice on about?"

Edward shrugged. "No idea. I tried reading her thoughts, but she started repeating every line the actors said back to herself, so I didn't get anything." I could see a frown pulling at the edge of his mouth. I reached for his hand and held it in both of mine. He looked down at me and smiled. "It's probably nothing. Just Alice being Alice."

"Probably," I said. I was sure that whatever Alice had seen wasn't bad, or else she wouldn't have hidden it from Edward and Emmett - she would have made it her business to tell Edward especially right away.

Something Edward said before Alice's strange actions came to mind, and I leveled him with a cool stare. "You distracted me on purpose?"

To my surprise, Edward chuckled. "I can't help it if you're easy to distract, Bella." To prove his point, he turned the full force of his eyes on me. I felt my heart rate accelerate. He pulled his hand from mine and brushed my hair behind my ear, lingering his touch on my neck, before pulling his hand away.

"See? Easily distracted."

I blinked at him, and when I was able to process the words, I pouted. "Hmph."

"It isn't your fault - you are only human after all."

"It doesn't matter how many times you use that excuse, Edward, it doesn't make it any less embarrassing," I mumbled, fighting to keep my eyes in front of me, but glancing at him from the side all the same.

He laughed, his eyes shining with mirth, and turned back to the road.

I crossed my arms and sunk back into the Volvo's seats. It wasn't fair, the effect he had on me. I knew I had a similar effect on him, or at least I hoped I did. Why should I be the only one who had a visible reaction?

The idea that came to me then was born of Alice's words - Dear, naive Edward. Remember this moment. Maybe there was a way I could drive him to the point of distraction. I would have to be subtle, and I knew I was anything but subtle. And I knew that as soon as I succeeded, he would come right back at me with something worse.

The grin on my face betrayed the worry I felt at the embarrassment that was sure to come at my own expense. I glanced at Edward, at his ever-cool demeanor and thought of finally breaking through - and smiled even wider.


Alice's phone rang only once before she picked up and said, "So, you want to get back at Edward?"

I glanced towards the living room. Charlie was sufficiently distracted with the football game he was watching, and Edward wasn't due back for another couple of minutes. I was okay to talk freely. "Yes. I want to know that I affect him like he affects me."

"Oh, Bella," Alice said gently. "You know that he's as attracted to you as you are to him."

I sighed. "Sometimes, I wonder," I said softly. "It's just that everyone always knows how he makes me feel and, well, quite frankly, it’s embarrassing to know that you can all hear my heartbeat speed up when he does something as simple as touch my arm. I can feel it," I grumbled, "That's bad enough. And knowing he's trying to distract me on purpose? Well - that's just downright mean!"

Alice laughed. "Bella, do me a favor."

"What's that?"

"Never change. Give me a second." Her voice was muffled, but I could hear her say, "What is it Emmett? I'm on the phone with Bella." They spoke for a few moments before Alice was back, saying, "Bella, listen. Emmett wants to play poker tomorrow night."

"Okay," I said slowly, not quite understanding where she was going with this. I was horrible at cards - I didn't know how to bluff. "And?"

"Well," I could almost hear her grinning over the phone. I could definitely hear Emmett chortling. "I have an idea..."


The table was set with five sets of poker chips, six chairs, and a well loved deck of cards. Emmett had already filled Jasper and Rosalie in on our plan for the night. Jasper had laughed - he thought this was definitely going to make things more interesting. Rosalie had eyed me coolly, but promised Emmett she wouldn't say anything to Edward.

The four of them were already seated at the table, and Alice had her hand on my lower back, guiding me into the room. She and I had spent the afternoon together "shopping" - really, we'd been planning for tonight.

"Alice," I hissed quietly. "I don't know if I can do this."

"Bella Swan, don't you dare chicken out on me now," she said, giving me a shove towards the dining room.

"I'm not chickening out," I said, although my thudding heart betrayed me. "I'm just saying that I don't know if I can do this. We both know I'm a horrible liar."

"Bella, you're not lying to him; you're seducing him. Now go. Scoot. Seduce." She gave me another little shove before settling down in her seat between Emmett and Jasper.

I stepped up to the table with barely a glance back at Alice. I could do this. I could be nonchalant - mostly. It was the lying part I wasn't so good at. "What are you playing?" I asked Edward, surprised at how natural the question had sounded.

Edward reached over and wrapped his arms around my waist. My heart skipped a beat as my hip came into contact with his chest. "Poker," he said. "Emmett insists that he can win at least once-"

"Even though we all know he can't keep his mind blank for more than a minute when he's playing cards," Jasper finished with a smirk.

Emmett glared as Edward chuckled. "I wouldn't laugh yet, my friend," he said, rolling up his sleeves and sitting down. "You have no idea what aces I may have up my sleeve."

"Technically, there are only four in the deck, so the odds are still in my favor." Rosalie rolled her eyes at her brother and started shuffling the cards.

Edward turned to me. "Are you going to play?"

I barely repressed the smile that came involuntarily to my lips, but somehow, I was able to keep my face straight. "Against five vampires who have had, collectively, at least ten times more experience at the game than I have? I think I'll pass. I value my pride." Emmett laughed loudly at that.

I grinned and eased myself out of Edward's embrace and into the chair next to him. "I'm just going to sit here and watch."

Edward smiled back at me. "All right." He whispered conspiratorially, "Just don't give my cards away. This lot likes to cheat."

"Because you trying to read our minds isn't cheating?" Rosalie asked, arching her eyebrow as she began dealing out the cards.

Edward shrugged. "I don't have to try. Emmett broadcasts louder than a radio tower." Jasper snorted. Emmett glared.

Once all of the cards were dealt, all five of them reached for their hands. Alice gave me a subtle glance and I blushed, but nodded.

The game was well under way when I realized that my plan was about to fall apart before I'd even had a chance to set it into motion. Edward raised Emmett three hundred, making the bet an even five hundred dollars. Alice's eyes flashed to mine - she'd warned me earlier that if this happened, he had a feeling that Emmett was bluffing, and was only a few moments away from winning the game.

I took a breath. Here goes nothing.

I scooted my chair closer to Edward's, making it look like I simply wanted a better look at his hand. He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye and raised his eyebrows. I shrugged. Alice choked back a laugh.

I slowly let my arm brush against his, fighting back a shiver. He'd rolled up his sleeves sometime during the game, and his forearm was cold against mine, the feeling not at all unpleasant.

I leaned forward, letting my chin rest on his shoulder, purposely breathing against his neck. I could see Edward fighting valiantly to keep a straight face. Jasper raised his cards higher so Edward couldn't see him holding back silent laughter. Rosalie was smirking.

I put my arm around his shoulder, resting my hand on his upper back right below his neck. I could actually feel his muscles jump at my touch. I fought back a grin. "So," I whispered against his ear. "Is Emmett bluffing?"

Edward swallowed hard. "I'm not sure."

"I thought you said he broadcasts louder than a radio tower," I said, idly drawing patterns across his back with my fingers.

He shivered. "Usually, he does," he said quietly, the tone of his voice making me shiver. But his mind is unusually preoccupied tonight."

"Oh?" I moved my fingers up to the back of his neck. He closed his eyes, unconsciously leaning closer to me. "With what?" My lips were moving against his ear as I spoke.

"Edward?" Emmett's voice broke through our little bubble, and Edward turned to him. Alice winked at me from across the table. All of her cards were gone. "Everyone else has folded. What do you want to do?"

I continued running my hand up and down his back, arms, shoulders, any part of him I could reach. I could tell that part of him wanted to tell me to stop so he could concentrate fully on the task at hand, but that would be acknowledging that I'd distracted him - and he wouldn't do that, not in front of all four of his siblings. They'd never let him live it down.

"Check," he said, having already met Emmett's bet. He placed his cards face-up on the table. "Full house." Edward smirked.

Emmett grinned triumphantly and brought his cards down to the table with a loud thump. "Royal flush, my dear brother. I do believe there is a term for this - I win!" Emmett laughed boisterously, and Edward stared, disbelieving, as Emmett kissed Rosalie, then cleared his winnings from the center of the table.

"What... how..." Edward was speechless. He was actually quite adorable when he was confused.

Emmett's booming laugh made me grin. That is, until he looked at me and said, "I told you I had an ace up my sleeve."

"Emmett!" I hissed at the same time Alice smacked him in the back of the head with her fist.

Edward stared at me, shocked, as I slowly withdrew my hand from around his shoulders. "You were in on this?" I blushed, turning my face away, all of my earlier confidence gone. How was I going to explain this?

Suddenly, I felt myself calm, and I gave Jasper a grateful glance. He nodded, then stood up from the table. "Nice going," he said, shoving Emmett in the back towards the stairs. Rosalie rolled her eyes, following after them.

"But this was her idea!" Emmett's voice carried down the stairs and I winced.

Alice sighed. "Well, I'd better go make sure that Emmett doesn't spend all that money in one place." She winked at me, then turned and pointed a finger at Edward. "And you, stop sulking!" She walked out of the room, muttering to herself.

Edward turned to me, and I stared down at the table, fidgeting with my fingers in my lap.

"Bella, what was all that about?" Edward asked, though not unkindly. I could tell that he wasn't mad at me.

I let out a breath, still not looking at him. "Remember when I was here watching the movie yesterday?" I didn't wait for him to answer. "Well..." I wasn't sure how to explain this to him.

"Bella," he lifted my chin with a finger, forcing me to meet his eyes. "You know you can tell me anything."

"I know," I said softly. Edward moved his hand to cup the side of my face, his thumb moving gently along my cheek, and I sighed. "Rosalie is right," I said smiling. "You do cheat."

He laughed, and pulled his hand away. "Fine. I'll play fair."

"Thank you," I said sardonically, then bit my lip. I still wasn't sure how to go about explaining my actions tonight.

Edward let out an exasperated breath. "Bella."

"Fine, fine." I knew how much he was bothered by the fact that he couldn't read my thoughts the way he could with everyone else. I'd tortured him enough for one night.

"When we were here watching the movie," I began slowly, hesitantly, "You drove me to complete distraction. Alice was right - I was supposed to be watching the movie, but all I could pay attention to was..." I blushed furiously. "Well, you."

Edward grinned and kissed my neck. My heartbeat jumped. "Go on," he murmured.

"Um," I fumbled for words, but I couldn't find them because his lips were pressing a maddening trail against my skin. "Um." His fingers skimmed along my arms, and my concentration was completely lost. "What was I talking about?"

"How I can drive you to distraction," Edward said, his eyes smoldering beneath his lashes.

"Right," I said breathlessly, and then I narrowed my eyes as I realized what he was doing. "Okay, you've made your point," I said, pushing him away from me, knowing I couldn't move him without his help.

He laughed and sat upright. "Well, don't look so pleased with yourself," I said, my face blushing crimson, partially with embarrassment but also with frustration. "This is exactly why I asked for Alice's help in the first place."

"What?" Edward said laughing, but I could tell that he was still confused about the entire situation. "Why?"

"Because you always see how you affect me Edward," I said, and he stopped laughing, his face suddenly going serious. "You hear how my heart speeds up, and you see me blush, and you notice how I forget about everything but you. But..." I dropped my eyes to my lap. "I know you say that I affect you the same way that you affect me, but I never see that. I just wanted to- to see if maybe-"

"Bella," Edward grasped my hands in his, and I stared up into his eyes. The look in their golden depths was unfathomable. "So, what you're telling me is that this game tonight was all part of an elaborate plot of yours to see if you could drive me to the point of complete and utter distraction – enough that I would actually lose to Emmett?"

I nodded, feeling my cheeks burn. "Alice helped. Technically, the game was her idea. And so did Emmett," I couldn't help but smirk. "He wanted to finally win a game against you." I nibbled on my lip. "So, you're not mad?"

"Mad?" Edward said, shocked. "Why would I be mad? I'm more surprised than anything." He sighed and gently pulled my chair closer to him so that I was sitting between his legs. I didn't protest, but simply wrapped my arms around his neck. "How many times am I going to have to tell you this before you believe me? I love you, Isabella Marie Swan, only you." He pressed his nose to my neck and inhaled deeply. I went very still in his arms, but I couldn't help the soft sigh that escaped my throat.

He raised his head and I grinned as he whispered, "You will always drive me to distraction," against my lips.