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Being Her

Summary:
A series of one-shots in Claire's perspective throughout the series For Her.


Notes:
Um, will not go in any order. they come as i get bored enough to write them. PSSSTTT if you want a new story, go review with her!


14. Coming Closer

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 587   Review this Chapter

And it wasn’t so bad no, it was right, it was the way I was supposed to be, wasn’t it, it made sense, didn’t it, it was natural and right to be on Quil’s side

Because he loved me

Oh, god, it had been such a long time since I knew a feeling like this I had been so little I could hardly remember when I had last trusted someone

But I trusted him, I loved him, I knew he was never never never going to hurt me, I knew it like I knew… like I knew my own name, like I knew the sun would rise in the morning, like I knew the sky was blue

It was effortless and natural in a way I had so long thought nothing ever would be again

“Quil? Can I ask you something?”

and that was why I was doing this, even though it was wrong, even though the idea seemed somehow strange, like I shouldn’t be allowed

“Anything.” He always had a smile for me, because he was bright and alive and real and he knew I needed it more than anything else, because I didn’t have any smiles of my own.

“Quil, can I…” I trailed off.

It was rude. That was why I couldn’t ask him, because it would be impolite

How odd that a convention like that applied to us after all of this but I couldn’t ask

“Claire? Sweetheart? What is it?”

“I… I don’t want to live with Sam and Emily anymore.”

His eyes widened, his back stiffened, I could see him tremble with fury

It was a while before he spoke and I could see the rage in his eyes carefully controlled but present nonetheless “Did… did… why?”

“It’s too hard to be around them. They…”

He breathed a deep sigh of relief great enough to be visible “Are in love with each other so much?”

I nodded- it wasn’t that Sam and Emily didn’t like me, they did but it was hard to see it hurt me to know that other people could love each other, that she never suspected him, that they had so little pain in their lives that such a love was even possible

“Not because… they wouldn’t…”

I saw his suspicion then- “No, they didn’t.” they’ve never hurt me. Don’t worry, silly Quil, no one has hurt me for a while now. I am safe here and I can even hope to be happy someday soon

“Oh, thank God, Claire. But… do you want…” again, his breathing slowed- nervousness, perhaps, though I couldn’t fathom why “Do you want to come live with me, Claire?”

“Yeah… I was actually going to ask you if I could.”

“Really?” He grinned. “Sweetheart, of course. Of course. Anything I can do for you.”

“Thank you.” To my own surprise, I threw my arms around him- the first time I had willingly touched another human being in… years, as long as I could remember

“You’re welcome. I’ll go tell Sam and Emily.”

“Will they be angry?” I asked quietly- I wouldn’t want to hurt their feelings, but I just wasn’t a part of their family yet, I wasn’t part of their lives

I wasn’t their little girl

“I won’t let them,” Quil promised, and I walked upstairs to collect my things and start over- again.