Text Size Large SizeMedium SizeSmall Size    Color Scheme Black SchemeWhite SchemeGrey SchemePaper Scheme        

Being Her

Summary:
A series of one-shots in Claire's perspective throughout the series For Her.


Notes:
Um, will not go in any order. they come as i get bored enough to write them. PSSSTTT if you want a new story, go review with her!


20. First Forgiveness

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 748   Review this Chapter

“Claire, you have one last appointment to see Dr. Cullen today, all right?” Quil says, gently.

“All right.” Quil doesn’t like Dr. Cullen (presumably something to do with the rivalry between vampires and werewolves, which really reminds me of nothing so much as Sean and Will in my class, who are always starting fights on the playground). But I don’t mind him. He’s very kind to me, and I think I might like to be a doctor like him someday.

Quil and I got in the car, and we drove to Forks, where Dr. Cullen worked. It was only about twelve miles away- well, technically, he did the driving, since I’m still only ten years old

He lets me sit in the front with him, though- my friends aren’t allowed to their parents say it’s dangerous, but I know Quil would never let me get hurt

More than I know anything else

We arrive at the hospital, and he helps me out of the car, still grinning about something

Dr. Cullen smiles, his teeth sparkling against his lips. Katie tells me he’s cute. I don’t really know. I don’t think so-but then again, I’m not exactly an expert

“Well, Ms. Denson, your arm has healed up nicely.”

I shrunk back from the name, my eyes darting around the room- that was his name his name, where was he? He wasn’t here, was he, why was someone saying… Ms. Denson… that was me, but it just established that I was related to him, that I was his, that…

“Don’t call her that! It scares her!” Quil snaps, and I smile gratefully at him- how does he know things like this? I certainly never told him

“Oh. I’m terribly sorry, Claire- Ms. Young?”

It’s Emily’s old name, and I don’t mind being her daughter, named as hers, I smile in relief that’s right, the part of my life where he was a danger is over, now, over forever.

“I believe you are free from any physical damage caused by the abuse. I cannot do anything about psychological trauma… I’ve never studied psychology. But I do wish the both of you best luck. Good-bye.”

I sigh- good, I am not hurt, I will be able to go on safely with this new life

Quil does not look as happy, and I say, “Quil, what’s wrong?”

His eyes flutter shut. I can’t tear mine away from his face- I’ve never seen anyone look so miserable, and I’ve known some pretty awful experiences

I’ve never seen so much guilt. That’s the emotion, that’s what I’m looking for, and it makes me worried, no, afraid.

That is reflected in my voice. And I can hear that guilt in his as he almost-gasps, “I’m sorry.”

The words aren’t enough to convey the scope of what he’s trying to say, but I grasp the meaning nonetheless. Yet I answer simply, carefully, “You look sad. Don’t be sad.”

My words are not enough either, but they have a strong effect on him- “Oh, sweetheart. I just feel so bad. I left you for so long there, didn’t come looking for you. Didn’t help you, when such terrible, terrible things were happening. I would have done anything, anything, Claire, to save you that.”

I look straight into his eyes, and the fringes of my vision see his mouth open into a round O. I make my gaze as intense as possible, and I tell him the truth, to stop all this pointless misery.

“It’s not your fault. Not any more than it is mine.”

That got a response- almost a scream, in fact.

“WHAT! Oh, honey, you are never, never, never, to believe that anything he did to you was your fault!” It was the closest I had ever heard Quil get to being angry.

“I didn’t say I did. I just said it’s not any more your fault than it is mine. It’s his fault, Quil. Not mine and certainly not yours. You’re the one who saved me… the one who loves me. I don’t want you to feel bad, Quil.”

I look right at him, and so I see the falsehood when he says, “I don’t feel bad.”

“Liar.”

I laugh- I’m teasing, not accusing. And he joins in, and we walk out of the office, happy

Really, truly happy