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Being Her

Summary:
A series of one-shots in Claire's perspective throughout the series For Her.


Notes:
Um, will not go in any order. they come as i get bored enough to write them. PSSSTTT if you want a new story, go review with her!


63. Wedding Day

Rating 5/5   Word Count 626   Review this Chapter

I’m pacing back and forth across the floor of a back room in Duke Chapel. I’m not allowed in the house, since that’s where Quil is, and I’m not supposed to see him today. Which stinks, because the last time I woke up and didn’t see him before I’d finished breakfast was the day he came to get me from my dad’s.

So, what, twenty years? It’s a little disconcerting to have that routine broken.

Also, I’m nervous as anything. I really want him here, because I know he’d calm me down. But I’m not going to see him until two o clock this afternoon.

When we get married.

My throat feels really dry. My hands shake at the thought. Not even because I’m afraid I’m going to fall flat on my face and make a total fool of myself. I don’t even know why I’m afraid.

Actually, I do. I always do.

Tonight, I want to be with Quil. He’s waited for me for twenty-five years. I can’t make him wait any longer.

But I’m not sure I can do this. As completely as I trust him, I don’t know if I trust myself.

“Claire?” I hear, from the other room. I stride across the hall and open the door. Bella’s making a face. Alice is pulling and pushing at her hair.

“Hey, Bella. Hey, Alice. Having fun torturing my maid of honor?”

“You know I am.” She grins an incredibly winning smile.

“Claire, there’s something I want to talk to you about. You and Alice are hiding something from me. Right?”

This is Bella. I look down at my shoes. I wonder what Alice is going to have me wear for the ceremony. Right now they’re scuffed sneakers. “Yeah.”

“Can you tell me what it is? You were thinking about it earlier, that first day. I didn’t peek, but I’d really like to know.”

Briefly, I deliberate, and then decide I can tell her. I do so in my thoughts, deliberately, because it’s just too painful to say aloud. All right. This is somewhere between impossible and really awkward to discuss, and it’s always been Quil who’s explained it before, to anyone who needed to know. Except my friends, who guessed. He’s really blunt about it. He just said it. But you can read my mind, right?

“Right.”

After her agreement, I close my eyes. Slowly, I bring back memories. Not the worst of them, not by far, but enough that she’ll be able to see…

Hands everywhere, tugging at my clothes, stroking my hair, pulling me close and shoving me to the floor, striking me, caressing me…

“Claire…”

That’s why I left him, Bella. After that, I’m not sure I can be even close to what he deserves. I shake my head. That’s probably my biggest fear now. I’m not enough for Quil, I can’t be. I can’t love him like he deserves to be loved.

“Who was it?” she asks gently.

My father. Now you know. So much for lying to myself.

I guess it’s only fair if I tell you the truth now.

It can’t be worse than mine.

No. It isn’t… Edward and I aren’t married yet. And I’m here to keep the Volturi from killing you.

Oh. That makes sense. I nod.

Alice interrupts us. “Yes, yes, the truth is all wonderful. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to finish doing Bella’s hair so I can move on to yours.”

“Your wish is our command, oh Alice queen of all,” Bella replies snidely. I laugh.

The sound rings, empty, in the air.