it all comes down to this
That’s when it hit me. The vampires were all here for me, if I go out there she can kill me and it’ll be over. Nobody else has to die. Bella's on the beach waiting for Jacob when something unexpected happens. Will she make it out alive? will anyone make it out alive? CHAPTER 6: Alive? is up
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5 months, 14 days, 4 hours, 32 minutes and 54 seconds. That’s how long it’s been since I have seen my Bella. I pictured her beautiful face, with that smile I loved, and a blush spreading across her cheeks. I pictured her smiling up to me as we danced at prom last year, I saw her open her eyes in the morning and smile as she saw me there, watching her. I remembered how beautiful she looked with the sun shinning in her hair while we lay in our meadow. I remembered how she wasn’t afraid of me, how she was never afraid of me, never afraid of my family. Most importantly I remembered how she had loved me. How she trusted me and how I let her down. I had hurt her. I let her be close to me, let her love me, let myself love her. I knew it was dangerous, I knew she could get hurt. And I knew that if I didn’t end it soon we would both get hurt. The thing is I didn’t end it when I should have. Instead I had to be the selfish monster I was trying to not be. So instead of leaving I stayed. Staying was a bad idea. I should have left when I had the chance, then neither of us would have gotten hurt, then I would be able to trust that she was going to move on with her life. And I would know she would never have gotten caught up in the world of vampires. I hated myself for it, for everything I have done to hurt her. I even hated myself for leaving her though I knew it was for the best…
My phone rang suddenly interrupting my thoughts. I took one look at the caller id and tossed it back to where it lay on the floor. Rosalie. I was a little surprised she was calling me, I hadn’t heard from anyone in a few days, but I hadn’t heard from her in a few weeks. Whatever. She was probably just calling to complain about how everyone is sad and won’t pay her any attention cause their all too busy moping around. Well, that’s how the last two calls were about anyways. A few minutes later, the phone rang again. I didn’t have to look to know who it was. I leaned back into the wall and closed my eyes. I tried concentrating on memories of Bella. The phone rang a third time. I reached over and picked up the phone. I looked at the caller id and saw it was Rosalie again. It must be important if she was calling three times. She never called three times; she always got too impatient to bother again.
“Yes, Rosalie” I sighed into the phone.
“It’s about time.” She answered
“What do you want?”
“Are you coming hom…?”I hung the phone up before she could finish. I didn’t want to hear anymore complaining from her, or from anybody, for that matter. I thought she was calling to tell me something important, and what does she want? To know if I will come home! Arrrgh!! I could just kill her sometimes! She is almost as annoying as Alice. I tried to calm myself down again by thinking about Bella. We were sitting in the meadow, our meadow, my eyes were closed and she was touching my arm. Running her fingers in soothing circles while turning it over to look at the way it sparkled….
“Yes, Rosalie” He answered with what sounded like irritation
“It’s about time.” I was sick of calling. I hated calling more than twice, but I thought he should know what happened.
“What do you want?” He growled into the phone.
“Are you coming hom…?” I was interrupted by the noise of his phone snapping shut and then the loud beeping coming from the phone. I shoved the phone into my pocket and stomped off toward the house. Fine if he didn’t want to listen to me I won’t tell him. It’s his problem now. I walked back into the house to find everyone sitting around the dinning room table. No one was talking. No one even looked up when I walked in; everyone was just staring off into space, or staring down into their hands. I sat down in the empty chair next to Emmett and buried my face in his arm. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer to him. We all just sat like that for a while. I didn’t know how long, a few hours maybe. Nobody moved, except for Emmett when he would occasionally lean down and kiss the top of my head. The whole time I didn’t think of anything besides Bella and how I was always thoughtlessly rude toward her, not knowing that I would never see her again.
Even though I could feel the sadness and grief that everyone in my family was feeling, I couldn’t help but feel that maybe she wasn’t dead. Maybe by some chance Alice was wrong. It could happen she had been wrong before, and it wasn’t impossible either. Maybe Bella is still alive. I thought this over to myself as I pulled Alice in closer to my chest.